What would be your first move?
2007-10-24 10:02:42 · 24 answers · asked by ɐuıʇsıɹɔ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW!! Good question... for me it really depends on the EXACT situation... for example before taking action I would have to determine with whom the cheating took place. If it were with a woman unknown to our family and she had absolutely NO IDEA that the man she was/ is sleeping with is mine then I guess I would be asking HIM alot of questions like who, why, how long etc... if it were a one time thing or couple time thing and it was purley sexual I may forgive him ONCE (our family is worth so much to me that throwing away what we have built over YEARS would not be worth throwing away over one or a couple minor sexual impulsive indiscretions).
If it were an on going "love affair" (1 year or more) than I would honestly kick him tot he curb the second I found out as he clearly would have lost site of what is important and meaningful to himself and to his family (the one he helped create). I would be sooo hurt and feel so betrayed_ probably feelings I'd never get over and I would be of the opinion that he couldn't possibly love or respect me anymore and that I deserve WAY better than that..
NOW if it were with a woman that KNEW he was "involved" in anyway with me (especially in my situation where there are 3 young children) that would be a whole new ball game I would BEAT HER ***, leave him and take half of everything he's got....beat her *** again then move on with my life!!
Did I mention I'd beat her ***??!!! I would honestly disfigure the s kank!!!!
2007-10-24 10:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by busymum 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends how I found out, how serious the relationship is and the extend of disloyalty--I may walk away without hesitation and I may try to work it out with counceling etc. In general, if there are no children involved, I would need to get away to clear my mind until I get my emotional stability back and can logically make a decision about the situation. If we have children together, my top priority will be for them not to find out while I clear my head---I don't want my children's image of a father being clouded by his mistakes and for them to suffer.
2007-10-24 17:27:38 · answer #2 · answered by Lioness 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The so called relationship would truly be over! There is never a reason or an excuse to cheat. Men and women do it each day without regards for their partner's feelings or the outcome of their marriages and relationships.
2007-10-24 19:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speaking from experience. I always said that if I ever caught him chaeting that I would beat the sh*t out of both of 'em..but when it happend I just started cracking up. I did not shed one tear I don't know why i mean i love him but I just couldn't cry. After that I put all of his shi*t in garbage bags and kicked him out. I called his work and asked for her, she wasn't at the office so I made sure to tell everybody there that she was a filthy whore and she was sleeping with my husband. Soon after she didn't work there anymore!
2007-10-24 17:33:44 · answer #4 · answered by chula 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first move would be to throw him out of the house with a few of his belongings. He can find a place to stay, I don't care where. Maybe the other woman will put him up.
Then I would wait and see how I felt before making any more moves.
2007-10-24 17:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it were a one-time thing--an aberration--I would be willing to work things out with him. He would have to be willing to admit his mistake and figure out the root cause of it. If he is unhappy in our marriage, or the fun and sexiness have gone out of it, we can fix that. We may both need to go into therapy. But if it turned out to be a chronic problem, realistically I would have to leave him. I would forgive him in time, but no way could I ever stay in a marriage with a spouse who is chronically unfaithful. Not only is this kind of thing heartbreaking, in these times it is dangerous.
2007-10-24 23:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by Indi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I'd tell him what a low-life he was for not telling me he wanted out of the relationship before he cheated.
Then, I'd leave. Unless I liked where we lived, then HE'D leave. No questions asked.
If he didn't respect me any more than that, knowing I would NEVER do that to him, I'd be long gone. I could never trust him again, and I sure as s__t wouldn't want a man I can't trust. And I sure as double-s__t wouldn't want a man that wasn't satisfied with me, either.
Hope that helps you!
2007-10-24 17:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was a one-time error in judgement, I'd be willing to try to repair the trust and continue. Counseling would be an absolute must.
If it was an affair of some sort, or it had happened multiple times, he'd be out on his butt so fast his head would spin.
2007-10-24 17:25:43 · answer #8 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
1. change locks
2. throw his things out of the house/appartment to the curb.
3. file for divorse (if husband)
4. forget he existed.
by the way, I am a guy and cheating is unacceptable.
Good Luck.
2007-10-24 17:07:54 · answer #9 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all I would have to have proof that he was cheating and then if he is I would talk to him and let him know that I have found out about his cheating and leave him. I believe that if they can do it to you once they can do again so why stay.
2007-10-24 17:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by ddelacruz67 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋