my boyfriend of 3 yrs recently dumped me. he is threatened by my independence. he feels emasculated and disrespected by my other male friends and independent life of him. he is 37 and im 25.
im sooo in love with him and love him to death. i would do anything to get him back. its been 15 days since we last spoke to eachother. im deathly afraid of making a wrong move.
he is a reasonable man, not totally chauvaunistic. im also willing to compromise, but now what is the next step? do i call him? or respect his definitive decision?
if i call him, i dont want him to think that i cant respect his decision or appear "clingy or desperate".
if i dont call him, i dont want him to think i no longer want to be with him or am with someone else
please help me.
confused hopeless romantic
2007-10-24 09:52:52 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he called a few days after the breakup and had a casual conversation. i was so confused, i went to see him to get my stuff and left more confused. that was 15 days ago.
what is the next move? is the ball in his court or mine?
2007-10-24 12:47:04 · update #1
Wow! Alot of you people are so harsh on your judgments. You read a few sentences about a guy and all of a sudden he's no good for her.....damn! Listen girl......call him if you want him! Call him!!!! You know what you should do, so quit questioning your heart and go for it! And if in the end you two couldn't make it work.......well then, lesson learned and life goes on, right?
2007-10-24 10:43:35 · answer #1 · answered by Eric Lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to reassure him. He is neurotically insecure. he is jealous. Jealousy is the fear that someone else will be preferred over you, and it constantly scans for evidence to prove that point. He will hold everything you do up under a microscope, analyzing it for anything that might prove he's not worthy of your love and someone else is.
Only he can change that. You can't. The only alternative is self-value. If he cannot love himself then he will not believe that anyone can love him the way he is.
In reality you are better off without him or life with him will be like walking on broken glass with bare feet all the time. You don't need it. You don't need to babysit his ego all the time. It will just bring you unhappiness and sorrow.
As William Penn said: "The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."
Or as Havelock Ellis said:"Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive."
2007-10-24 17:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are better off without him. What you need is someone that respect that you are independent and will cherish you for you. Jealousy will kill any relationship. He's 37 but sounds like he needs to grow up. You are 25 yet years ahead. Moving on is hard to do, but if you just give it time the right one WILL come along.
2007-10-24 17:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by jerry l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't help you, I've realized that jealousy is an unhealthy feeling and it destroys relationships. I don't have time for men in my life acting that way. I'm an independent woman and I need a man that respects and cherishes that about me.
2007-10-24 17:00:05 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You move on. Hopefully you learn something from the experience, but you move on. You didn't have an argument, so this is not something where there are second chances. You broke up, so move on already.
2007-10-24 17:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋