When a man says WE need "A Break"..What does that REALLY mean?

Question

I have recently moved in with my significant other, and I have in no way shape or form acted or hinted that I would or have EVER cheated on him. His EX was all the bad, went out all the time, never made him dinner, and possibly cheated on him.. He has suggested a break, to see how we "feel" about each other after being apart for a while..I have ALWAYS Understood that when a guy tells you this, it's basically OVER..He says he loves me and wants to see if he'll miss me??..I'm confused...Or perhaps in denial..But he has given me the impression that he DOES miss me all the time, and that I'm all he thinks about...What could REALLY be the reason for his "Lets Take a Break" thing?? Please Help :(

Answer 1

If you and him have been having conflict alot, the usual response is to take a break, which in my opinion makes the problems worse. Talk to him about this, ask him why he feels you and him need a break from one another. Maybe a day spent dong things with other people other than with him and verse versa? Or a weekend apart? But anything longer would indicate he is thinking of moving on.

Answer 2

Met a 65 year old man who's track record was not all that. Since I'm not a one time divorcee, I guess I can't throw stones but, I never-ever leave one person for another. He, on the other-hand has. Over and over again. His conduct and track record somewhat made me think that I too would be one whom he would leave for another at any given time. We dated for a little over a month with my staying over his place on several occasions. For the most part we got along, laughed a lot, he took me places all the time ie, out to eat, movies, swap- meets, etc. Since I am a live-in caregiver it was not a match in the department of my being able to have him over to where I lived. Plus, I am a retiree two years older and receiving SS Benefits of which isn't all that..(: I think some of you can identify. Anyways, I tried hard to be fair with sharing costs but since I didn't have much I felt a little odd that he was spending here and there all the time. Well, the day came when he said to me he was bothered by my not offering to pay for things more often. I felt insulted by his comment since it wasn't the only thing he had said to me that was insulting...He tends to be insulting more often then not. I confronted him with his comment by saying, "How can I offer if I don't have the money to pay?" His comment was, " I just wanted to hear you offer" and that he had no intentions of me paying...duh, my feelings is, what if he would have said "OK" to my paying...I would have had egg on my face...right? Since that event we have not been as close, he doesn't laugh as he did, he doesn't call as much and I totally feel he needs a woman whom has a income and more money then I do. I expressed these thoughts to him and he denies that he wants a woman with money but I deep down feel that is not true. Plus, he holds on to his Asian ex-wife's relationship by seeing her every so many weeks or months, has her furniture and some clothes in his apartment and speaks to her on the phone quite often. I sometimes wondered if he was legally divorced but when I asked he said he was...so I didn't debate it...We did have long conversations about her whereby he even called her "stupid" not smart and other demeaning words...She lives in Las Vegas and he lives in Anaheim Hills, Ca....but he would drive to see her prior to meeting me...personally, I think he just wanted someone to be with while he was alone...and dummy me feel for it...I will know better when and if I were to meet someone else since even though I'm an older woman when it comes to matters of the heart I'm a big dummy.

Answer 3

If it were me, I would count my blessings for getting to know him, try to find the lesson I am supposed to learn and keep it moving. I mean who takes breaks?, I am a grown woman and I need a man who can take a break in the next room or on the couch for an hour and then get back to reality. The same way I do, I break when I go to the mall with my girlfriends, I break when he is not at home, I break when I do my 30 minute meditation in the morning. I take all types of breaks but they don't require me leaving the home or taking a leave of absence from my relationship. So in this case honey I think he is trying to tell you that he wants to see other people, explore his options. Which is fine you need to do that before marriage and etc. But that works both ways, let me see if I miss you and the bs you telling me. I mean you could let him take his break and then find you someone else. But my suggestion is make it clear what the break is going to be if you decide to continue to be friends with him. None of that friends with benefits sh**! We don't go backwards, you don't get to take the title but still enjoy the benefits, no washing clothes, no questioning me, no cooking for you! NO MAMM!!! While you are on this break that you define for him! you make sure he treats you like any other young lady he would court for the first time or better.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

He could just be afraid of getting too serious, especially if you have recently moved in. He probably feels like some of his 'freedom' is gone. It's a guy thing, I guess.
Usually when they say the want to "take a break" I think it means it's on the way to being over. But what can you do, say no? And then he'll resent you and break it off anyway. I would give him the "break" and plan on meeting new people. If, and when, he comes around, you might have already found someone who is better for you and not so afraid to commit.

Answer 5

he feels guilt over what he did to u knowing your probably hurt, so he is telling u what he thinks will get him out of this as easily as possible, he doesn't really want to leave u with a bad goodbye like some men do. he also could be seeing someone else, and wants to see how that goes before he burns all of his bridges with u. he may love u and will miss u but not enough to stay in the relationship with u. too bad he didn't tell u he wanted a break before u moved in together. its easy to look for all kinds of reasons why, and give him the benefit of the doubt, because u do love him, but plain and simple he isn't interested right now. its not due to his past its probably because he has met another.

Answer 6

What he really meant to say is that he met someone hotter than you that he wants to screw...He doesn't want to cheat on you so he decides to tell you he "needs a break"

He'll be back (with you) if u let him after this fling...

I don't know why you would ever fall for this and take him back one day but hey, to each their own right... what a loser you have caught....

Best advice I can give you is leave him in the dust...what happen years down the road if u are married and have kids, bills, mortgage and he meets someone he wants to bang... he'll either pull the "I need a break crap again" (leaving you and your family in financial/emotional ruin.... OR he'll forget the "break" and just cheat on you...then you'll find out..leave his sorry *** or stay with his sorry ***... Either way your life becomes miserable... Get it...

This type of man NEVER changes...and IS NOT MARRIAGE/FUTURE potential....drop him!!!!


Plenty of fish in the sea but you have to get in the water to find them!!! :P

Answer 7

I agree w/ Valerie .....

Most likely it means he wants to be able to go out and look for some other tail..... but have you in the wings in case he can "do no better".....

I think this is NOT just a guy thing. ANYONE that says - "lets take a break and see if we miss each other", is actually saying....

"I like you, you MIGHT be the one, but I want to go out and TRY to see if I can do better for myself. If not - you're cool, so I'll come back to what's comfortable and known to me."

Its a risk free way to play the field and still have your "baseline" relationship intact to fall back on / into.

Those that do it are usually VERY inmature in their relationships and don't make for good long term partners. What happends when you give him this "break"? Then later on - you get married ? If he wants a break then, then what ?!!??

You don't take a BREAK from relationships that you want to make work. You WORK on them - together !!!!

He wants out - but is too much of p*ssy to man up and just tell you!

Answer 8

Well I would be very clear to him that you want to break it off for good if he needs a "break". If you went out of your way to move in with him, and move towards a BIGGER commitment, and now he wants to take a break because he realized that being around you 24/7 is more than he can handle ( he probably started out with good intentions and just realized that he doesn't like living with you) I would move on. Dont' continue to sleep with him and be at his beck and call. Whats it going to lead to in the future? He didn't like living with your or else he wouldn't want a break. I say give him his break, permanently.

Answer 9

It's really hard to tell. It could be that he is afraid of getting too serious too soon, or he is afraid of getting hurt and wants you to make sure he is the one you want, or there may be another female in the mix. It has been my experience that when you need to take a break from a relationship there is usually a reason, and if you are not willing to share those reasons it is usually a 3rd person.
If they can't/won't share the reason, and it's not a 3rd person, then how will it get resolved?

Answer 10

Did his X really do all those things? Or maybe he made all that up to make himself feel better because in reality he needed justification for cheating on her? People do that you know. Or falsely accuse others of what they themselves are actually doing. You wouldn't believe what a mean, hateful, ugly cheating cow I am. At least according to my X.
I don't understand breaks...if I need a break, then I need an out.