My bf’s mom is talking about throwing a baby shower for my bf. My sources say she doesn’t want me there and all gifts will be for him not anything for the baby. This will be a party just for him and she will invite all of our friends (men & women) and her friends.
We get along but I know there is this resentment she has against me because “I took her baby away.” But it has been 7 ½ years get over it. She had a BBQ in celebration of the pregnancies (his sister is prego too). During the bbq she wanted to do a toast and came and got my bf took him inside (he didn’t know what was going on, either did I) then his sister came out to get her husband and told me that she thought I should be inside too. She did the toast and didn’t acknowledge me at all (she said something about him, his sister and her husband).
This makes me upset, am I over reacting? If I’m not how do I tell her that this is upsetting me, why I am I being left out? Does it mean nothing that I am carrying the child??
2007-10-24 09:50:27 · 16 answers · asked by Smile <3 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Oh btw I am only 16 weeks.
2007-10-24 09:50:59 · update #1
She wants to make it a surprise for him. His sister told me all this stuff.
2007-10-24 09:55:57 · update #2
Honestly you have good reason to be upset because you're the one carrying this child and you're the one who will make her a grandmother. The thing is , why is your bf of almost 8 years isn't saying anything to her??? Or have you told him anything about it.
I think you should talk to him first, if you haven't done so, and then he should talk to her because she's his mother not yours, or you can go see her together and address the question.
Because if she's treating you like this now, be ready for once the baby is born, it will be hell on hearth if your boyfriend doesn't say anything right now.
Truth and honesty is always the best policy.
Good luck
2007-10-24 09:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by johanne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your boyfriend on your side, or you will not win. You can't fight his mother. Some people throw baby showers for the couple rather than just the mother. Both men and women are invited. It's a little less girly, but it's nice to get the father involved. Maybe your boyfriend can suggest this. Also, don't get too worked up yet. Baby showers usually aren't thrown until a month or two before the due date. Your boyfriend may be able to work a little magic by then. But your boyfriend must be supportive. If he won't be, then it may be time to rethink the boyfriend.
2007-10-24 09:57:43 · answer #2 · answered by bffer1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it is obvious that she has something against you. I would sit down with your boyfriend first and talk to him about it. Let him know that it really bothers you, but remember it is his mother you are talking about. So I would really think out what you want to say to him before you say it. You can't take words back. Tell him you feel like she is harboring some resentment and you aren't sure why. Give him the examples (the toast, the shower, etc.). Let him know that you feel hurt and confused and want to know what is going on. He should support you and help you figure it out. Maybe you can both sit down with his mother and talk about it, or he can give you some insight so that you can sit down one on one with her.
It truly isn't fair that she is making you feel so insignificant during this special time. Do not let her make you feel like less of a person. It is such a great time for you and you should feel on top of the world. I hope everything goes well.
2007-10-24 10:04:15 · answer #3 · answered by kd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh good grief if she is this petty and spiteful now imagine how she is going to be once the baby is born...you are not overreacting at all...she sounds awful!! My advice would be to sit your bf down and discuss this with him and if he agrees ask him to go with you to confront (or better yet talk) to his mother to try to get these issues ironed out before the baby is born. That way you are a unified front and she will see that her attempts to cause dissention in your relationship will fall on deaf ears...
as far as her throwing your bf a party for the baby i'd tell her that she is welcome to do that but she is tacky to call it a baby shower since the only person she is showering is her "baby"...man I feel for you...
BTW i don't mean you should tell her she is tacky...just hold the warm fuzzy knowledge that she is tacky close to your heart when she throws a baby shower for her son and noone can buy gifts for his baby? She is nuts!
2007-10-24 09:57:49 · answer #4 · answered by Notagain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of a baby shower for the father. She might have some resentment. I would ask, but ask tactfully.
Say: Have i done something to offend you , because it is begining to seem that you may be upset with me about something. Seeing that you are my childs grandmother I really want to make sure there is no resentment or anger between us.
Something ultra tactful like that.
2007-10-24 09:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lady is off her rocker. I have NEVER herd of the father getting a baby shower, is there gonna be a stripper there too??( sorry back joke) But seriously its your baby & your hubby & you have to tell that lady to include you or you will just convenently forget to include her in anything its that simple. you get what you give & she doesn't seem to be giving an inch. Good luck!
2007-10-24 09:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by YellowBella21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you letting her bother you ? She is nothing to you. If I were you I would just concentrate on my baby & the happiness that comes after holding your baby in your arms. Besides am sure somebody will throw you a real baby shower of your own. Let them do what ever they want just dont let them upset you. Thats probally the real reason why she is acting this way.
2007-10-24 10:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by the1lioness1queen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is WAY past time for your boyfriend to lay down the law with his mother. He can't allow you to be treated that way, nor can either of you let such a dysfunctional family situation into your baby's life. Let him in on his mother's party scheme, and he needs to deal with it. He's a man now and it is time that he stand up for his family.
2007-10-24 17:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something you need to bring up to your bf. And maybe even say something to his mom about it. Maybe ask her if you have done something to make her mad, because you feel like she is intentionally making you feel unwanted.
2007-10-24 09:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by jimapalooza 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you should be prepared for battle--you should know this after 7 years....i wish you well....
2007-10-24 09:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by ladydi171 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋