my partner is sitting on msn most nights talking to an ex, she is confiding in him about her failed relationship with her kids dad,
he's so nice to her, saying nice soothing things to her,
i feel really jealous, i know thats stupid hes been with me 10 yrs, and yes i trust him but it pisses me off that he talks to her while im sitting 6 feet away from him.
go on tell me im a stupid idiot, how would you feel?
cathybaby x
2007-10-24 09:28:55 · 32 answers · asked by Qqq 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have now told him that i dont feel comforable about it , he just laughed and said am i jealous, i admited i am a bit, he laughed and shook his head.
thanks all for your answers.
2007-10-25 09:39:23 · update #1
I would be irritated too. I would even go so far as to tell him about my irritation and why. I would tell him that while he is busy soothing her about her failed relationship, he is hurting our relationship in the process. I would tell him to stop. I would ask him to put the shoe on the other foot and ask him how he would feel if I spent hours on end consoling one of my ex boyfriends.
I know my husband wouldn't' put up with that from me any more that I would from him. We have been together 10 years too, but so what. If he wants it to be another 10, he better start tending to his own garden and not worry so much about the weeds in his ex's.
2007-10-24 10:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you husband knows that him chatting to his ex makes you feel uncomfortable and jealous, and he's STILL doing it, then he's an ***. He should be considering your feelings. How would he feel if you were chatting to an old boyfriend?! It's only human nature that you will be jealous - this man used to sleep with this woman and now he's her best friend?! I don't think so! In my opinion if he's chatting to her a lot there might be something beginning to happen between them. Be vary wary, try to catch him on the computer and read what he's put, if he's acting jumpy when you're around then I'd have a serious chat with him. If he's happy for you to sit and read what he's putting then maybe it is all innocent, but again he needs to be considering your feelings - if it upsets you that much and he loves you then he should stop.
2007-10-24 09:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by coca cola 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your emotions are your emotions, and you have a right to them. Of course you have a right to be angry, or hurt, or to feel discounted, or whatever it is that you actually are feeling.
If she is talking about her failed relationship with the father of her children, that is none of your husband's concern and he ought not to involve himself. He can do nothing but get in the way of her current marriage working.
It would be a different matter if they were talking about their children that they had together before you guys got married, but it seems that this is not the case.
Tell him how you feel. "I feel hurt and offended and discounted when you talk to her about things that are none of your concern, and I need you to stop. Now."
You are not a stupid idiot. I would feel the same way as you, but that is not the point. What matters is the IMPACT OF YOUR HUSBAND'S BEHAVIOUR ON YOU.
2007-10-24 15:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not stupid!!! He is having an emotional affair, period!!! Especially if he knows it bothers you, then he absolutely shouldn't be doing it . If she is not yur friend as well, then she being an old X and the opposite sex, shouldn't be his friend either. If she had any respect for him, or his marriage or you, she wouldn't be consuling in him. She needs to deal with her problems at the source, and that's herself and her husband, not you and your family. Your husband must feel he is getting something out of this emotionally, and he needs to stop asap, he is a married man, and what he's doing is wrong. If he were my husband he'd would need to realize that he's tampering with divorce!!!!!!
2007-10-24 09:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Yr NOT stupid m8, uv got every rite 2 feel fuckd off! Hes supposed 2b wiv u not his ex, by the way u sed that it feels like u dnt trust him fully but im EXACTLY the same wiv my b/f! i DO trust and love him but get VERY jealous wen certain gals tlk 2 him coz it feels like he dnt care bout me! although deep down i know he does! Have u told yr b/f how he makes u feel wen he tlks 2 his ex? If not, TRY! good luck m8x x
2007-10-24 09:38:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not like it and the woman could take her pitiful self somewhere else that gives a dam. Tell your husband to have the woman find herself a counselor because he would be better qualified to give her advice. Your husband needs to focus on you and him and not spend his time on her....for no reason at all! He needs to be saying nice and soothing things to you and not make you feel uncomfortable while he is being her knight in white shinning armor! He better be rescuing his own marriage here before he finds he won't be having one either.
2007-10-24 09:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're a stupid idiot!.......But seriously, you really need to talk to him about this. She must be his ex for a number of reasons. Ask him whats changed that can let him get on so much better with her now, and certainly so well that he's comfortable with her confiding in him. He may just be secretly gloating that his life with you is so marvellous (in his eyes) while hers is so terrible.
2007-10-24 09:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Wildman 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hasn't he told her that he is in a relationship with you, he has got to stop this! He has to tell her that they have to stop talking and she should take her problems to a psychiatrist or have her talk to HER MAN! Time for you to put your foot down and say enough is enough!!!!
You have every right to feel jealous, no it is not stupid he has been with you for ten years, well, girlfriend, if he wants to be with you for the next ten years, you have to put your foot down and tell him to stop saying those nice, sweet words to her, and start saying some nice, sweet, words to you!!!!
Cathy, you are not stupid, do not say that about yourself, you are mad, you are hurt, and you have every right to feel this way, I am totally on your side!!!!
Take that hurt, and take that anger, and tell him how you feel about him talking to his ex, and tell him you will have no more of this!!!!
She has her own life and you have yours with your man!!!!
Tell him if he wants to spend the next 10 years with you, he has got to stop this!
2007-10-24 09:44:17 · answer #8 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure its disturbing .
tell him in hinders you .. and you will instead of "him" sit and solve his "x";s problem pretending it is you .
that should sound fine to him. Else CREATE a x if u dont have one and start chatting to him in lame hours about something as unromantic as Ozone Depletion ..perhaps that might hit the nail... and even if that is not ok then post yourself cards from a SECRET lover .. etc..!!!!!!!!!
he must know even though he is not romantically involved its unfair!
2007-10-24 09:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by barley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry,but its been 10 years you have been with him,he needs to get off computer and talk to you instead.You need to tell him how you feel,coz being a man he probably doesnt realise.Good luck.x
2007-10-24 09:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋