he is 30, already had a problem, but 'supposedly' got himself cleaned up without treatment. main issue, no proof, but i watch his 18 month child, his girlfriend prefers not to ask questions, he has quit many a job, where is he getting his money...is he selling now? when i ask questions he cusses alot, tells me its none of my business. parents are basically in denial and ticked that i even mention law enforcement. what can i do...my niece deserves better!
2007-10-24 09:00:31 · 8 answers · asked by tk5398 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well it sounds like you are probably right. My sister was an oxy cotton user which lead to heroin. It took her getting caught by the police smoking it in the car with her baby at the time because where she would go park and do it some lady was taking pictures of her for almost two weeks and would call the cops but by the time they got there she was gone. So finally the lady called the police one day right when she pulled up to the curb and started doing it and got busted. They took her to jail and the judge wanted to throw the book at her. The police gave her the option when she was busted to have a family member come pick up the baby so she got lucky. The judge put her in a program that was 1 step away from jail and she had to go to probation 5 days a week, take a urine test 7 days a week to make sure she was clean, and go to AA meetings 7 days a week. It was a 2 year program and she has been clean and sober for 3 years.
My advice to you is try to keep that baby as safe as possible and the girlfriend or mother of the child needs to get the baby away until he cleans up his act. My sister had the same signs and i new she was using but nobody believed me until she got busted. She even posed as a doctor in Vegas to get a prescription for oxy cotton so try to do what you can to get him help. Just keep pushing to get your point across and the baby safe.
You do not want the baby to end up in foster care because it will be impossible for you to get him out. If my sis got busted while using in this program she would have went away for a long time plus they would have taken the baby so do whatever you can.
2007-10-24 09:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by spleefarella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and try to talk to him when you know he's not high and tell him that you are concerned b/c you love him and your niece/nephew more than anything and you don't know how the future will play out for them if he keeps using drugs. Child Protection could take the child away is they think the child is in danger and as a family member you have every right to be concerned.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-24 09:07:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Jack Sparrow ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is exactly one choice for you to make, either leave it alone and continue to be strong presence in the childs life, or force the issue by continuing to question him or invovling the authorities and lose him and the child, possibly forever.
If you really care for the child, I would suggest that you step back and butt out in order to continue being there for her.
And just a thought for you, did it occur to you that you asking questions makes him feel judged and defensive regardless of whether he is using again or not?
2007-10-24 09:13:15 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who was on a 3 day cocaine binge. I went by his place the first and second days to check on him. I asked him when he was going to end this binge and he told me that he wanted to be like this forever. I in turn told him that he wouldn't like what happens next. What I did was called the police to intervene as a reckless endangerment case. He was jailed for 3 days. In court he was offered drug diversion as a remedy. He completed the drug diversion program and went back to court where he was placed on 6 months probation. The judge also ordered that if he can stay out of trouble for that period of time, his arrest record would be permanently sealed. He was so pissed at me at first but as time went by he had to admit to me that I had in fact saved his life.
2007-10-24 09:25:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where he is getting his money but if you suspect he is using again...he more likely is. Outsiders can tell and the addict won't see it seriously until something bad happens. Addicts don't stop on there own, they almost always need treatment to get off of anything and even that won't work unless they really really want it...take it from someone that knows first hand! It took me three times in treatment to finally get it. It isn't easy. Try talking to him over and over again, get your parents to help you too.
2007-10-24 09:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, if they go back to drugs...the picture is bleek. There may be other issues that drives him towards drug usuage. Try to concentrate on his "happiness" without mentioning drug usage. This may be a back-door approach that would not cause distrust and confrontation. Talk to him to see if you can pick out signs of depression or other disorders. Good luck.
2007-10-24 09:14:15 · answer #6 · answered by Gary1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sad to say but all you can do is watch..................
honey, he needs to realize that he is not only brining himself down but his family as well. he is his only savior, and only he can makes himself see the light.
ask if the baby can spend time with you..........maybe the less she is with them the less, she'll have to see.
luv.•´ ¸.•*´¨) ☆.(¯`•.•´¯)
.(.¸.•´ (¸.•` ☆ ¤º.`•.¸.•´
2007-10-24 09:07:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
throw him into forced rehab
2007-10-24 09:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋