am i too young to have a baby?

Question

im 17 years old.
my partner is 18.
were engaged to be married and
couldn't be more loved up with each other.
he gets paid 20,000 a year (so were
quite financial stable). im still
studying and intend to carry on till
the end of my course next september.

I want to show him how much i love him
and that im going to be with him forever.
This baby will be so loved and cared for...

is it the wright thing to do?
am i too young?
what will my mum and dad think?

Answer 1

Having a baby is no way to show someone how much you love them. He has to want this baby as well. Does he want to have a baby with you right now? He may want to wait a while since you are both still young.

And I don't know where you are from, but $20,000 a year isn't much, especially to raise a baby.

Answer 2

Hmm.. well, a baby definetly isn't the right way to prove to someone you love them,as anyone can make a child. Nor is it a way to keep a relationship together, as this is proven by the extremely high rate of divorces.

Also, $20,000 a year is not a lot of money to raise a child on. THe first year alone just between diapers and formula could cost you up to $7,000 to $8,000 a year, which is almost half of that income, nevermind the clothes and care and doctor visits.

Also, if you intend to continue your education, now would be the time to do that, BEFORE you have the full-time job of being a mother to deal with. Once you have completed your education you will be much better suited to financially care for your child.

I'm not sure that I would say you are too young, as we all know kids are having kids at an astonishing rate these days. I will say that it is in your best interest as well as your fiance and your future children that you do wait and establish yourself before you get in too deep over your head.

Besides you are young, take the time to enjoy that because once you have a baby, that is forever. You two shuld get married, maybe travel a bit and then, you will know when the time is right to start planning a family. (The divorce rate among newlyweds that get pregnant early in the marriage is the highest among all divorce rates as well. A child puts alot of pressure on relationships that are not ready).

Take care of yourself and enjoy the rest of your youth while you can. You have no idea how quickly it will indeed pass you by!

(I imagine your parents would think the same thing)

Best wished love.

Answer 3

I think 17 and 18 is way too young to have a baby. I know that you love each other, but once you bring a baby into the mix things are going to change. Plus, $20,000 a year is not a lot AT ALL! It is actually in the poverty range. Especially if you are going to try and raise a baby on that income, there is no way! I make a little less than $35,000 a year and I literally live pay check to pay check and struggle every month...it sucks AND I don't have a baby. Your parents will probably tell you the same thing...good luck in whatever you choose to do

Answer 4

If you need to ask what your mum and dad will think then I think you have answered your own question. You are too young.

When you think to yourself that your mum and dad will be thrilled, that is when you will be old enough, so I am sounding old and boring, but, hey, what if things go wrong, you will need your college course and any other qualifications you can get to support yourself and perhaps if your partner lost his job, him to.

Get yourself to a really good start , get a good job, make lots of money, then have your baby, that way the baby comes into the world with parents who are financially secure, and are able to give it the best of everything, that way, happy partner, happy mum & dad (granny and grandad), happy child or children, and a very happy you.

If you want to show your boyfriend you love him, buy him little things and tell him you love him, I'm sure he will be pleased with that. Tell him what your dreams are, tell him about the house you want, the children, the pets, and him there with you.

Hope this helps

Answer 5

S T O P!!!!!
Before you get into what you really have no clue about. First off making $20,000 a year may be just fine for the 2 of you, but add a baby into that and you're talking about literally NOTHING!!! Between me and my wife we bring home close to $50,000 a year and we're still strapped most of the time. This has nothing to do with loving the child, love will not feed, clothe, shelter, or be medicine for that child.
I say get your family established FIRST and foremost before you bring a child into it. You are still young, as is your fiance, enjoy each other. Don't be an idiot and automatically want a baby as soon as you walk down the isle. MAke sure that you're bringing your kid into the best possible situation.

Answer 6

Wise up! Just how far do you think $20,000 a year is going to take you? The fact that you think it's enough for a family of three to get by on tells me that you're not ready for this step.

Your parents will likely be disappointed because you're making permanent decisions at such a young age. No offense, but most people your age really don't know what they don't know. You will now have given them more to worry about.

Think about the baby, too. He or she is a whole other human being that you are going to be responsible for, and that child will have more needs than you can count. Becoming a parent means that your life is no longer your own. Be prepared to make a lot of sacrifices and for your relationship with your partner to be put under extreme pressure.

Have you discussed this with your partner? He may not be ready to take on such a challenge. Perhaps he'll want to settle into a home and enjoy life as a couple, learning more about each other, growing even closer, sharing and setting goals. Those are often the times that older married couples look back on with such fondness. You would be robbing yourselves of that joyful time. Please don't do this.

Answer 7

First off are you having a baby for the right reasons? A baby is not just a something to have because you want a relationship to work. Trust me I have friends who could tell you nightmares about that stuff.(not that they regret their children) At 17 trust me you have no clue what you want for the rest of your life. I thought I did, but even at 21 I really still don't know. Plus having a baby means at least 18 years of your life devoted to that baby. Can you really imagine not being able to experience all the things other kids your age are getting to experience? No partying, no doing what you want when you want, no being "free". I mean I want kids someday but trust me if I had had a kid at 17 I wouldn't have been able to experience as much as I have already and I still have more. Just make sure you and your partner are both ready for a child and it would be a good idea to seek advice from your parents.(yes parents do know stuff too)

Answer 8

YES!!!! you are too young to have a baby.First go through with the wedding see were thing go from there then maybe just maybe you both will be ready ,but let him know you both should be on the same page.I personally have been there I thought that by having a baby would make our life better and complete.I was very wrong..So my advice to is to take thing slow enjoy your time together alone once a baby comes you can say good bye to peace and quite. I am not saying this to scare you I am just letting you know the facts.....

You mom and dad might think that you are going a little fast depending on how long they have know about you and your bf.........They might tell you to stop and think about it.

P.S. when you decide to have a baby I wish you and your partner the very best....

Answer 9

Having a baby is not the answer. You can show him how much you love him without that. I would finish your studies first. You have plenty of time for babies. Get your studies done and get ready for a baby first. I would wait a year or two after you get married. After you have a baby everything changes. You are no longer the most important person, she is. Your needs don't come first, hers do.If someones has to do with out, it is you. Enjoy some time alone together first. Do some things now that might have to wait later after you have a baby. Get to know each other even better. Good luck.

Answer 10

Society will say you are too young yes. BUT I am 25, I had my first child at 17 too and my second at 20. I live with my boyf and we are very happy, I have finished my degree and am training to become a teacher. My children are polite, well behaved, and my whole life. So it can be done! I didn't have financial stability and had very ill health but I did have the support of my family. If I was you I would talk to your mom about it and make plans as to looking at your plans for childcare and returning to your studies. The fact is you obviously love one another and plan to be together so maybe you should wait, but really it's up to you. I have done it and I am so happy and so are my children. Many people shunned me and called me names when I first became pregnant, but if you're sure it's what you really want to do and have planned it carefuuly, good luck!!!!!!!!!!
XXX




Could you please clear up for everyone, do you mean £20.000 or $20,000? There's quite a difference and may help get a better picture?

Answer 11

I agree that you should probably wait to have a baby. Get through school first because I was 19 when I had my baby and It was very hard. My son is now 3 and I am trying to work and go to college and it really complicated everything. You should wait until you are financially stable and able to enjoy the miracle of childbirth. I love my son more than anything but it would have been a good idea to wait.