I got married last 2 weeks ago and my guy friend got married last weekend. Me and my guy friend used to be friends-with-benefit. I know I am happy for him and I'm happy with my husband. But it bugs me to see my friend married. I feel like I'm jealous but I at the same time, I don't think I am. Any help? No rude remarks please... I already feel uneasy as it is.
2007-10-24 08:24:59 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
You are feeling what any perfectly normal person would feel. Trust me, it is hard to see an ex with another sometimes, even if you aren't interested in them.
2007-10-24 08:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you still have some leftover feelings for your guy friend or maybe you are feeling that the woman he married isn't quite good enough for him or can't take care of him as you think he deserves? I think it's natural to feel a little "what if" ish over past relationships, especially if this is a guy you've confided in a lot--and now he's wrapped up in someone else. You miss your close connection with him, despite your new love. It's entirely possible to have feelings for more than one guy and you may have a deeper connection, friendship-wise, with him than with your husband, whom I'm guessing you haven't known as long?
Might help you if you just try to focus on your marriage and plan for your future with your husband. You'll get used to the idea of your friend being married and you'll get to become friends (hopefully) with his wife...and pretty soon, it'll just seem a normal state of things.
But don't mention these things to your guy friend. Don't do anything impulsive. Give yourself time to adjust to your new circumstances and let him adjust to his. These are big changes and it's only natural that you'd feel nostalgic for the comforts of the old and familiar at a time like this.
Just give yourself some time to be a married woman. It is an adjustment!
Good luck.
2007-10-24 08:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by grrluknow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you do have feelings for this friend of yours. Its just like seeing your first love with a new woman, regardless of how happy you are in your life it still bugs you. Think about your husband and all the reasons you are with him, why you married him, think about the future you two plan to create together, and take the time to say goodbye to that friend and what the two of you once had.
2007-10-24 08:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by Jengi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you want to believe you really are in love with your husband because you want to believe you are over your guy friend with benifits. Maybe you are just lusting for your friend. Is it love or lust? Look deep inside and give this a lot of thought. You've already made a big leap by getting married. You don't want to make a mistake by jumping into a divorce/annulment, and then regret it. Also, you don't want to just have an affair. As good as it may sound, it only leads to four people being hurt as an end result. You have a lot of soul searching to do. After you do your own soul searching, and if you realize you have more than lustful feelings for your friend, then you should talk to him about it and see if he feels the same way. But don't have him answer you immediatly. Make sure he puts a lot of time and consideration into his answer as well.
2007-10-24 08:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever thought that maybe there was more to just benefits? Maybe, you really felt something for him and was never strong enough to bring it out?.. If that's not the case and you know it.. It may be that you were used to the attention he gave you. Once he's married, and you are too, that went away as well, causing you to be 'alone' in that sense. What i suggest you do is to stop worrying about him and try to be happy with your marriage for it can be hurt by those feelings too. Deep down, I think it was that you got used to it.. Don't stress about it to much..
2007-10-24 08:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be feeling guilty that you still have feelings for your guy friend. I'm not sure exactly what you mean by friends-with-benefit? But if it what I think it is. s*x then it is probably guilt. Focus on your new husband and let your friend do the same with his new wife. Those days are gone. In time you may be able to do things as couples but I would not suggest any time alone with him.....this could lead to more regrets.
2007-10-24 08:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by Teddy's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's just human nature to feel a little jealous when you see someone that you've slept with with someone else.
Let it go - you have both moved onto new paths in your lives. Don't screw up today because of something that happened yesterday. Obviously, if there had been a chance for a relationship between you guys, you would have already done that. Maybe you shouldn't see each other for a while until you settle into your new lives.
Congrats on your marriage.
2007-10-24 08:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by nite_angelica 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No it's always a lil unnerving to see someone you used to date with someone else, but is may not be jealousy like you think. It may just be you know you don't stand in the same place and it's not that you resent that it's just you don't know where you stand. Is your friend automaticaly more distant from you because of your new suroundings? Can you be the same people around each other without making spouces uncomfortable? Those questions will surely make you itch around him. Check to see where you stand and make a new friendship.
2007-10-24 08:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by Carl B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are deffinately feeling a little bit of jealousy. If you and your friend were that close and now you have no contact you are resenting the fact that you don't have him to yourself anymore. It will take time, but if you are happy with your husband and focus on the two of you things will get better over time. If not maybe there are more feelings there than you thought.
2007-10-24 08:29:13 · answer #9 · answered by uteva713 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow
now this is complicated!
this is why Friends-with-benefits is not a good option, one of the two will always get hurt.
i think you developed a crush on him, but please tell me this happened before you meet you husband!!!!!
remember that he is just a friend and that you are married! that has to be because you love your husband don't you???
well, then just focus in the fact that you are now happily married. (hopefully!)
stop seeing him(your friend) for a while, that would help!
i hope things get better!
2007-10-24 08:32:09 · answer #10 · answered by ¬¬ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is your friend... of corse you feel abit of love for him and him probobly the same back to you but it is clear that you both found somebody who you loved more than your friend... This doesn't mean that you and your friend can't still be friends and you might just be feeling that you aren't going to see him as much... This isn't true. You shouldn't feel uneasy because you are married... you have nothing to worry about. Try to relax and be happy to be married to somebody you trust and love =)
2007-10-24 08:31:53 · answer #11 · answered by Si 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋