I am in a loving relationship with the same man for the past 9 years. He recently lost his job and can not or will not perform in bed. But he spends his day's watching internet porn but will not touch me. WHY??? Can someone please explain this to me.
2007-10-24 08:14:49 · 22 answers · asked by chicoandbaby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I will NOT throw 9 + years down the drain. So all of you who tell me to "Kick him to the curb" need not answer.
2007-10-24 09:00:47 · update #1
Maybe he is scared. He may feel emasculated because he cannot provide for you. That he may not get an erection because of the loss of the job, and does not want to see the disappointment in your eyes for him failing, yet there is still the urge to orgasm.
Men are very good at separating love and sex, which is why a male idiot will say 'but she didn't mean anything, it was just sex'. So maybe now He is hung up on the personal thing of failing you, and divorcing his physical reactions from his emotional ones.
2007-10-24 08:27:44 · answer #1 · answered by bsu74 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He is definitly depressed and the porn is probably his way of escaping the "real world" for a short period of time. It helps him keep his mind off of other things that he can't deal with at the present time due to all the stress. Talk to him and encourage him, tell him that he is still your man and that you still love him. He needs something to snap back into the real world and you might be the answer. Sometimes the smallest compliments can mean the world to someone when they are depressed. Good luck.
2007-10-24 08:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing when my hubby lost his job last year. It is all stress related. His mind is not focused. He has a heavy burden and is depressed. He feels like a good for nothing. Once he gets back on his feet, things will change. The porn stuff is probably a release, a dangerous one that'll ruin his mind.
2007-10-24 08:30:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is suffering from depression. Internet porn stimulates different chemicals in the brain than those for real, intimate sex. It can become an addiction, just like drugs because of the "high" it gives.
Limit or disconnect his internet access and seek a counselor.
good luck.
2007-10-24 08:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by C>/ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off if he is not working then turn off the computer or make it were he thinks it is off and get that man out there looking for a job....don't take no for an answer and try doing something new in the bedroom no matter how stupid it sounds and see what kind of porn it is sometimes it can be worse if you know what i mean...but, your paying the bills now so do what you need to make it work or just put up with it.....
2007-10-24 10:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's most likely depressed and feeling less of a man b/c he lost his job. Men still believe that it is their sole responsibility to provide for their family, whether they admit it or not, and if they cannot do that their ego is hit..and hit hard. If he is feeling like he let you down he may also feel that he is not able to sexual satisfy you. Just be there for him and keep trying. Sex can be a good tool to get a man out of a funk.
2007-10-24 10:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depressed and feeling worthless. Don't kick him to the curb (damn that's harsh Gracey...not all of us are perfect). He needs your support. First, though you need to get his attention, so block all the adult sites on your computer using parental settings and password protect. Then help him get back on his feet...counseling may be necessary, too. Good luck.
2007-10-24 08:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes losing your job is like losing your identity. Makes you feel like the most worthless person on earth. Give him time. It's not about you. Help him through it, and get rid of the computer. He'll come around when he's ready.
2007-10-24 08:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by ron-D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's depressed. Do your best to be chipper with him and get him out of the house as much as possible. He needs to stay in touch with the world. Don't harrass him about sex right now. But kiss, cuddle and hug as much as possible. Good Luck
2007-10-24 08:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i would kick him to the curb...porn is a bad habit thats hard to kick...its like a fantasy for men bc most normal women dont act the way those women do in video...first its porn then its GOD only knows what else
2007-10-24 08:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by gracey 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋