okay my sister is married right. But the guy that she married is no good and I know this for a fact. He acts as though he does nothing but I know differently. He tries to keep things on the down low but he's cheating on his wife so should i tell her or stay out of it?????
2007-10-24 07:39:06 · 28 answers · asked by Realer_than_Reality 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her but make sure you have evidence because she wont believe you.
2007-10-24 07:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Irish Dad 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure that's a bit of a sticky situation seeing it is your sister. But she should know if she doesn't already see the warning signs and is just in denial about it. But on the other hand she may just disown you for saying something like that trust me I've lost friends when I was in a similar situation. And we still don't talk and most likely never will. And I've seen families just be cut off from that couple because the woman or guy was in such denial about the other cheating. If it was me I'd most likely stay out of it. Until you actually see the cheater with someone or have some sort of proof like a picture or something. But like I said Its really hard to say because I don't know your sister, and how close you are with your sister. So its just something that you are going to have to sit down and weigh the pros and cons of the situation.
2007-10-24 14:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you are sure he is actually cheating. Find a way where your sister can find this out on her own. If you were to state he was having an affair it could blow up on you.
1. If you were not 100% sure that he is cheating and you tell your sister he is that would set you and your sister up for a fight.
2. If he did cheat on her and you told your sister she might continue to stay with him and then you are the bad guy and he would not want you to be in thier life.
2007-10-24 14:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, your eyes only see bits and pieces to a puzzle.
If your motivation is to "help", then help in the best way possible. If your motivation is to sho nuf bust this dude open, then be prepared for a backlash.
A diplomatic, and mature method to "helping" is to bring it up to your sister in a way that allows her to investigate and carefully ask questions withOUT blame and outright accusation. Believe you me, there are untold amount of "for a facts" that actually turn out to be "oops. sorry, I thought..."'s.
So, before being the judge and jury, ALWAYS give someone a chance to reasonably explain. Ask yourself how many times could someone have thought something negative about you, but only YOU knew different?
Aside from that, you should always have it in your heart and motivation to do whatever it takes to "bring people together", and "build up", not tear down. What a mess if there ends up a divorce and separation, fights, blame, etc. You want to try to be a help to a marraige, not a hindereance.
Blessed are the "peacemakers"....
2007-10-24 14:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shes ur sister how would u feel if u were married and she knew ur man was cheating on u but she didnt say anything. talk to her tell her how u feel, but dont be surprised if she doesnt believe u. let her know u'll always be there for her. i would try to set it up where u and her go out and he just ends up to be there with another girl. no girl believes her man is cheating without seeing the facts.
2007-10-24 14:44:33 · answer #5 · answered by ..::..Lovin him..::.. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if this were a friend I would tell you to let it go. This is your sister. If your husband was cheating would you want her to tell you? Tell her. Let her know that you are really conflicted about the whole thing. Let her know you love her and let her know that you are telling her because if it were reversed you would want her to tell you. Tell her you are so sorry to be the one that has to tell her. You can not let it go because of all of the STDs that are out there.
2007-10-24 17:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, consider what YOU would want your sister to do if she was in the same situation. Would you want to know? Would you believe your sister? Would you react the same way that she might?
Just a heads up, though. Sometimes when you get involved with other people's business, you get caught in the crossfire. Tread carefully.
2007-10-24 14:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know for sure you need and I stress need to tell her now before she gets hurt. I think she would be more hurt if she found out that you know and didn't say anything about it to her. Even if you think she would be in denial if you tell her I still would, at-least you would have gave her a heads up about her bf. Good Luck!!
2007-10-24 15:01:23 · answer #8 · answered by honestspeaking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you mean on the down low as in going out with other men , you HAVE to tell her.
2007-10-24 14:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by val 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. She probably knows more than you give her credit for - but for whatever reason she chooses to stay married to him. Spare her the embarrassment of having other people point out that she's married to a scum bag.
2007-10-24 14:46:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 100% positive he is cheating on her, she needs to know.
Some people prefer to give the other person an ultimatum, "if you don't tell her, I will." Not entirely fond of that as it can lead to more conflict.
Good luck
2007-10-24 14:44:23 · answer #11 · answered by Bebopatop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋