depression and abortion?

Question

i want to ask something very personal.. i was booked in to have an abortion last year but i ended up having a miscarriage on my own in a toilet.. at the time i was numb but now.. nearly a year on things have begun to fall apart. I cry at the drop of a hat, i am paranoid and think people dont like me when my bf tells me i am being paranoid and they do,. i have no confidence in anything i do and it means i dont really have anyone close to me at the moment because i have started a new uni and dont have the confidence to be out going i just think i am fat and ugly and not cool or interesting. i even cut my arms the other day because i was crying .. small things can set me off and make me feel like an outsider or left out from group things...

i just want to know.. is this depression or just being a bit down?is it a mind over matter thing or not

i cant go on like this i miss having close friends :(

i dont want to talk to my dr, she is anti abortion and makes it clear!any advice?

Answer 1

Run, do not walk to get some help. There are many things that could be causing your depression. You may be feeling grief for the death of an unborn child. You may be feeling guilt for the abortion decision you made, although you should not. I am not qualified to help you, nor are most people on this board.

You do not say how old you are, but my guess is you are pretty young. 17 or 18? If you cannot talk to your parents, do you have a school or spiritual advisor you trust? You need someone who can help steer you into professional counseling. If one counselor doesn't work for you, try another. You need help to see that you didn't do anything wrong, and that you are a worthwhile, beautiful person who deserves the best in life,and who has a lot to offer others.

Please find someone other than your boyfriend to talk to. Although he may love you, it is too difficult for him to be objective about the situation.

Good luck to you, and I know you have a bright future.

Answer 2

Ah sweet pea, what you are feeling is quite normal. I would not say you were depressed, but I can understand how you feel.
To have loved and lost is always difficult, and yes you will be feeling something about this baby that miscarried. Know that it is Gods business, and the Godlight knows more than we ever will. So rest assured that all is well in your life. The feelings that you feel are real, and if you are strong in discipline and your mind is free of babble you could help yourself here to move on.
In your case, I would like to see you relax about this, and know that to cry is the bodies way of releasing stuck energy, this is flowing out in fits of emotion.
Allow this, and be kind on yourself, the body is also adjusting to not enclosing a new life.
What to do? , if I was you, I would definitely try to talk to someone, I don't feel I could keep it all in, you need to find someone you feel right with, to talk with.
This part is important, so maybe there is someone in your life that you have respect for, or an understanding, even a friend, and know that crying, stamping feet, and frequent bursts of *****,***** are fine. That is the body releasing all this build up of energy within.

As for the cutting your arms, hey girlfriend that is not a "good look" and you will need to look at this. It does not mean you are a "emo" that is a label, and does no good to anybody, it just becomes an icon, and we have enough of those false gods.

Please talk to someone about this, if you feel to do it again, as this is a real demonstration that you are wanting some attention in this matter. Get that good attention by talking to someone and allowing the body to rid itself of these feelings that are hanging around.
There are many people you can talk to anoymously, a phone call, a visit to a community centre, even go to another health care centre. You do not have to stay with the same doctor if you feel you can not reveal who you are and what is happening in your life. Change your doctor, or counseller, you have the power stick. Use it, and know that you are truly loved for all-that-you-are. Precious child of God.
The friends will come, as you find yourself again, and your real self is revealed.

Blessings to you, and I know you will feel better.

Answer 3

It's probably the result of changing hormones and the fact (wrongly or rightly) you have just been through a traumatic experience and for some people it's essentially a bereavement. Many women also feel guilty afterwards. The only thing I can suggest is that you seek some form of therapy (your GP can advise). Like any traumatic experience, it's better to deal with your emotions and feelings so you are able to move on. Providing you receive help (or maybe just give it time as you said this was recent), these feelings will pass. Don't suffer in silence though. What you are going through is very common and women experience it for a combination of different reasons. Edit Just reading some of the posts above; obviously this is a very sensitive subject and because of that it's probably best to speak direct with your GP rather than have to hear insults on here.

Answer 4

You are depressed because of the miscarriage you had one year ago, I don't blame you it could be traumatic for any woman. Although I am not in your shoes, try not not to feel so guilty about it. Think that it was not your fault, as you said it was a miscarriage and that can happen to any woman.
Right now what you need is professional help, tell your doctor (find another doctor if you don't feel confortable with the one you have now) about what happened and how you are feeling these days.
Also try to build your confidence doing things that you enjoy or setting small goals everyday knowing that you can accomplish them. Remember that nobody can say I don't have problems in my life, everybody have issues to deal with but the most important thing is that we have to find the way to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that light always shines for everybody.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

First of all you DID NOT have an abortion...a miscarriage is a natural occurrence. You need to talk to a counselor right now. Cutting is the sign of some real need for advice from a professional. You are young and have a full life ahead of you. Find out today where you can get help. If you don't have insurance there are free clinics in every city. You could call a suicide hotline (I know you are not suicidal) because they would have the phone numbers you need.

Answer 6

Hello
I am sorry you feel bad. Too bad your doctor is like this and you cannot talk to her. It would be good if you could find someone else to talk to. Why do you relate your current condition to the miscarriage? 25% of pregnancies end up in miscarriage, many times women dont even know, because they think they have a period. Miscarriage is how nature disposes of fetus with serious faults. You miscarried regardless of your decision to proceed abortion, the fetus was unable to grow and develop, this is nature.
I dont know if your present state is result of these events or something else but it would be good if you could find a doctor to talk to. Cuts are not good, they leave scars.
Why not talk to your doctor and not mention the abortion, just tell her how you feel now and tell you had a miscariage?
You should put behind you the fact that you wanted to conduct abortion, it did not happen, so just just dont think about it and you dont need to inform everyone about it, like your doctor.
Good luck.

Answer 7

Honey, your answer is in your question. It says "I can't go on like this" and that means it's doctor time. You are seriously depressed. If you can afford therapy then group therapy might be good for your confidence. You need to see a medical doctor too though and he might let you try a new drug called Cymbalta that seems to be working for many people right now. It is expensive but your insurance may cover it. Do something for yourself and get help. Call around. Find a Mental Health Clinic or a General MD and ask if they can prescribe anti-depressants.

Answer 8

You do need help my dear and the first thing you have to get out of your mind is that you did not have an abortion and you do not even have to bring it up.. I do know you need to talk to some one soon.. Did you ever think about going to church? I am not a religious freak and I am not trying to push god on you but I have found so much solice and Passion. If you read my bio you can tell I am very sick and I have sessions of depression and being down.. At times I dint even want to be around my friends. But the church and reading the bible really helps me.. I do wish you well my dear.. God bless from Grant M in Pennsylvania

Answer 9

You are depressed. Get help from a counsellor, religious leader like a minister or hospital.
Whether you have an abortion or a miscarriage, they can both cause depression. It is a major health problem and you can not get over it by yourself. There is medication for it.
Just go to a hospital emergency room and tell them all of your problems and they should help you. They can send you to the right doctor or counsellor.
My daughter had depression at 17 just from kids in school picking on her, she wanted to kill herself. We got her to the hospital and they helped her. There is medication that helps depression and talking to a counsellor is half the cure.
YOu don't have to live like that.
A friend of mine has depression because she had a mentally handicap daughter. Lots of things can cause depression.
When you are at the place you are at now, you need to get help..
Go talk to your doc anyway and tell her you want to find a psychiatrist or counsellor and get some help.

Answer 10

Part of the reason for your depression might be from the guilt you're feeling about the miscarriage since you didn't go through with the abortion. Sometimes women feel guilty when they have a miscarriage, especially if they had been hoping for one to occur.