My husband thinks our marriage is fine, but I want out and dont know how to tell him. Normally when I tell him something is wrong he blows up and walks out and cusses. I just want to leave. My mom says I can not leave until I tell him because he can get me for spousal support for walking out. I pay for everything in the house and give him money. He does not help out with anything and is in the military. He rather blow his money then help with bills and thinks I can cover it all which I cant. Someone please help me. I am not sure how to go about this, I have never done it before and I want to get all my things I paid for and get out FAST!!!!!!
I live in VA if it helps.
2007-10-24 07:27:14 · 9 answers · asked by kryddlez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In VA, one does not need grounds to file for divorce. If there are children you will need to be separated for one year before filing for a divorce. If no children, and create a separation agreement, 6 month wait to file. No children, no agreement, one year wait. You will have to live separate and apart, have no marital relations, and no intent to reconcile.
If you have been married for few years you will not likely have to pay spousal support if he has any kind of job. It is possible to find the papers online and do this yourself, although I would recommend at least consulting an attorney. Hampton roads has many who offer free initial consultation.
An agreement will portion out both debts and assets. In the interest of getting it over quickly you may have to seriously weigh what is worth fighting for and what is not. Custody and visitation may be written in here if both parties agree, or you may proceed to a custody battle apart from the divorce proceedings. If you cannot come to an agreement, there is not much you can do besides have a judge apportion things out which will be fair although not necessarily what you each want.
I hope this has at least helped a bit. More specific facts will draw a more specific response.
2007-10-24 07:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by thatWhitegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that you want a divorce. Tell him that what you have is not a marriage. Everything is your responsibility. He lives like he is single while you have to be his mother not his wife. If he blows up and walks out then let him go. Spousal support is for someone that did not work during the marriage and now is left without an income. Maybe if you are nervous you should consult a lawyer and get some advice. Maybe the husband will leave on his own when you tell him that you want out. There is no easy way to tell him so just be blunt. That is not anyway for you to live. Marriage is a partnership and he is not holding up his end of the deal. Stop paying for everything and giving him money. You need to save some money for yourself. Good luck girl.
2007-10-24 14:51:39 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spousal support comes into play when the other can not work. I think you are safe there. He does have an income.
I had a friend that wanted a divorce but did not know how to do it. So, she sent her husband away for the weekend and moved out. Just like that. I few weeks later, I went with her mom and served him the divorce papers.
2007-10-24 14:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Whoa....hold on. I know how you feel - just like I was feeling when I was figuring out how to leave my first husband. Please go see a lawyer first and find out exactly what your rights are. I did that before I left. I then took exactly half of everything we had in our checking and savings accounts, and the next morning I told him I was leaving, that I had seen a lawyer and knew my rights. Later, I was able to get what I wanted out of the house. You might not be able to take everything you want at one time. There are many things I would like to have, but didn't get them. But, they are just "things", and getting out meant so much more to me. See what the attorney tells you and take their advice.
2007-10-24 14:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I tell you that I understand what you're going through.....realize that you have allowed him to carry on but enough is enough....He is irresponsible and by you doing it all makes it so much easier for him....Of course he doesn't care because he is too selfish to see what he puts you through...Now, as far as leaving him you put in for a divorce ASAP...don't worry about having to pay for him because if he's a military man wouldn't you reap the benefits as well??? The more time you stay in this relationship the more complex your situation will be....Always remember you are a strong woman because you have put up with it for so long....what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.....
2007-10-24 15:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by msincognito 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should talk to a lawyer about your concerns on support issues. If there are no children, I really don't think he can get this as he is employed. Always check with a lawyer because as much as most on here do know, a lawyer will have the correct answers.
2007-10-24 14:35:11 · answer #6 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him how you feel, it might workout for the better and it might not. Good luck with that
2007-10-24 14:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by RoSa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree w/ talking to his commanding officer... he will set him into line! =)
2007-10-24 14:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is wrong? ok call his commanding officer...i know someone who did that...it works.
2007-10-24 14:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋