I met a guy 3months ago and we have been seeing each other 1/2 a week. I find it weird that he sold his house and went travelling a couple of years ago and now lives with his mum. He says he cant afford to get onto the property ladder or to rent a place. I have had a mortgage for my house for years and my son is in his teens. This guy I am seeing is in his 30's and seems keen to stay at my place but I don't want to give up my independence. I know it sounds mean but I would feel more comfortable if he was trying to gain his own independence first before things got more serious between us. He seems to have lived with his last 3 long term g/f and doesnt see it as an issue. Am I wrong to expect my b/f to move on from his mother.....
2007-10-24 07:24:42 · 21 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, your not wrong, for your needs! Personally, I agree with you, I mean he should have his own place to me, and from what you said about his last 3 relationships I think he may getting to comfortable with living with women instead of having some sort of independance! Are you starting to see a pattern? I think I am! It seems as though he may be looking for someone to take care of him instead of partnering with someone and if that is the case more power to him. but now with you! Stick to your grounds !You are entitled to your feelings, and you know what works for you! You are too early in the relationship arena with him to start putting his needs before yours. Not that its ever okay! But you definitley don't that to want to set the tone of this relationship, Both needs should met.and if we can't accomplish that doesn't mean either one of us are wrong, it just mean we need different things. No need trying to make this puzzle fit when apparently we don't have all the pieces if you get my drift.
2007-10-24 07:44:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You met 3 months ago and have seen each other 1/2 a week and he is wanting to move in with you. Run Run as far away as you can. He should at least have an apartment!!! He is 30 and still lives with Mom!!! That is a red flag!!! Run!!!
2007-10-24 07:29:44 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you take him in, you will be in a position in which you act like his mother from time to time. (as you are the liable one)
I think what you dislike is that he seems to be unmotivated. If he was a motivated guy who happened to live w/ his mom, it would be no big deal. But what you're seeing is that he is lazy. Talk to him about this part of himself, and see if he's going to put forth the effort or not. If not, I say don't let him move in.
2007-10-24 07:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl he is 30 years old he need to get a life. And yes he should move out of his mom house but to get is own place no tto live with you.
2007-10-24 07:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your instincts are dead on! Don't make the mistake of bringing a deadbeat into your home! If the sex is good, keep him as a discreet f u @ k buddy but eventually find a real man with a job and his own place.
Good luck!
2007-10-24 07:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Smooth Lyrics II 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong to want him to move out from his mother's house... if he lived w/ his last 3 girlfriends and it didn't work out obviously there is something about this man that made them all dump him... I would tell him no, you don't believe in letting him move in with you... and stick to your word! if he dumps you, he was up to no good, probably wanted to "mooch" off of you like he does his mother, lol! if he sticks around, still tell him you think he should move out from his mom's... get a better job to where he can afford it if needed... good luck! don't lower your standards...! =) if he does not move out of his mother's after "seriously" looking and finding another job, dump him after a couple of months or so... =)
2007-10-24 07:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he has a problem being independant. he keeps leaninng on others for support...his past gf and mom. you dont need someone like him. especially since you are stable and have a son to take care of. i think you should stop seeing him....shouldnt be too hard...you just met the guy.
2007-10-24 07:35:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does he do with his money?? You need to make a decision now that the relationship is still very new but this sounds suspicious. Sounds like a slacker to me.
2007-10-24 07:34:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes well... i am 31 and i am still living with mumsie. I would love to buy or rent my own place but i simply cannot afford it until i get another or better paid job
2007-10-24 07:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by DGW 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to cut those apron strings, I have a feeling he may be looking for a replacement mother rather than a girlfriend.
2007-10-24 09:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋