but now she never does. We have been together for 2 1/2 years, in the first 6 months literally all the time, since we got married a year and a half ago twice. What do I do to get her to do it more?
2007-10-24 07:19:37 · 42 answers · asked by samualadams88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your first mistake was this:
YOU MARRIED HER!
LOL!
2007-10-24 07:22:01 · answer #1 · answered by Violation Valerie X 4 · 6⤊ 5⤋
Ask her why she isn't doing that for you anymore! Open up the communication lines!
Are you enthusiastic about it when she does do it? And when I say enthusiastic, I mean, are you vocally enthusiastic? Do you moan and say "oh yeah baby, that's it, mmm hmm" and all that good stuff? You'd be surprised how much little things like that help. If you're not encouraging and enthusiastic about it, she may think you either don't appreciate it or you don't like how she does it.
Does she like for you to give her oral? If so, are you still doing that for her? It could be that she isn't giving because she isn't getting!
When you guys have sex (I'm assuming you still do that!), do you make sure she "gets hers" before you "get yours"? If not, try pleasing her first. Us ladies are more likely to give you guys what you want when we're getting what we want from you! Reciprocity! Look it up!
Are your hedges down there trimmed and neat? If not, try trimming it up down there. I can't speak for all women, but I know I'm more likely to go down when the brush has been cleared (or at least cut back)! It never hurts to make your manhood more presentable to her.
And don't ask her to do that for you when you're dirty. For example, don't come in all hot and sweaty after the mowing the grass and then ask for it. That's just gross! Good hygiene is a must!
Well that's about all the pointers I can give on this subject. Good luck to you!
2007-10-24 08:26:01 · answer #2 · answered by Beth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guilty as charged. I've been married for 6 months and my husband called me out on this about a month ago! And seriously, it hadn't really crossed my mind that yeah, I wasn't doing it! So I started making an effort to do this for him a couple times a week. I don't mind doing it, it's just that I guess I thought as long as we were having sex then everything was fine! Maybe she just doesn't realize she's depriving you of something. Let her know - but be nice about it!
2007-10-24 07:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been together many years and we still have sex every day and regularly exchange oral. I can tell you that giving _ _ _ _ isn't my favorite thing to do but I am willing to do it when he asks because he 1) always gives it to me. 2) constantly compliments me on how well I do it. Those two things make a HUGE impact on a woman's willingness to do more for her man.
2007-10-24 07:40:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you do is ask her why she doesn't do it anymore or maybe you could ask her to do it. My husband (of 10 years) never has to ask, its not as often as it was before we were married, I mean I have a teenage son who plays every sport known to man, a house to take care of and a job that is very demanding so I don't get to give it to him as often as I'd like but I manage to do it a couple times a week. Talk to her and find out whats up.
2007-10-24 07:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Girly1 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her about it. Obviously she's not reading your mind or you'd be getting more BJs. Ask her if she's missing anything sexually and then run with it.
Communication is key -- no matter how uncomfortable you might feel about bringing it up.
Hell, by an oral sex book and leave it in a bathroom (out of company and/or kids' peeking eyes) and let her ask you about it.
2007-10-24 07:40:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer G 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss....LOL Seriously, it can be perplexing. My first thought is have you asked her? Secondly, how often do you return the favor? I don't necessarily mean oral to her, I mean whatever she likes. Maybe, and I can't imagine this being true, she's not into oral. Maybe she wants back rubs, foot rubs, who knows. You need to know what's important to her and make sure you're doing that for her. Maybe she needs to know that you're just as willing to give to her and then she'll be more willing to give to you.
Personally, and this is just my experience, I think a lot of women are caught up in thinking this giving oral sex is just for the man. It's all about attitude. Now, before you ladies start thinking you want to strangle me, hear me out. I'd say the same is true for both sexes. If you approach these fun things with a different attitude, and if your partner shows you the appropriate appreciation for your efforts (they get into it and groan, moan, squirm, all the stuff that helps you know how much joy they're getting out of it), it can be an incredible turn on for the person doing the work.
I've worked on my attitude towards these things and when I give in this way, I receive so much in return if my partner is as enthusiastic as I am. It's become one of my biggest turn-ons because I know I'm good and I know he knows I'm good. Once, I'm finished, I get to enjoy my reward.
In your case, you need to talk to her and if you're afraid to talk to her, you need to start lavishing her with your willingness to please her. If she's got any brains at all, she'll start returning the favor.
Good luck.....
2007-10-24 07:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by Holly 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her about it. You'd be surprised how often a conversation and a simple request can get you what you want and need. If you're worried about sounding selfish, ask her what she would like to also do in the bedroom. These conversations can be akward or intimidating, or you can even be shy over these type of things, but remember, you're married with her. You'll be with her for the rest of your life, and sexual gratification is very important in a healthy relationship, so you'll have to talk to her about it sometime. And when you do finally talk to her, you'll feel so much better. So go for it! There's not time like the present!
2007-10-24 07:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by Rinoa Heartilly 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Kick her to the curb!!!!!! She (like my wife), used false pretenses to get you to marry er, and now, well you married her, but a "no fault"divorce doesn't cost that much!! Mine changed her mind about everything as soon as the wedding was over!! But, changed it again, when she got served with the Divorce papers. Stop playing around, and get seriuos w/her!! If she then doesn't change, kick her to the curb, and start looking for what yu really wanted!!!!!!
2007-10-24 09:02:05 · answer #9 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok once there was this little girl just wondering on the computer cause she asked a simple question on yahoo answers and she sees this question goes to her mom and says MOMMY?? what is oral sex but anyways im 13 how the hell should i know??
2016-04-10 02:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hunny moon is over buddy, sorry. She could possibly have just stopped thinking about it really. first just try asking her. I stopped doing it so much bc my husband "didnt like to do it" to me. well, I enjoyed it bc it gave him gratification but I didnt particularly "enjoy" it. so....make sure you are willing to reciprocate. if you arent getting it I'm almost 100% sure you arent giving it. now my hubby only gets it when he's done something nice for me :) we have sex a ton. but that is reserved for special accasions.
2007-10-24 07:45:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋