About a girl whose parents got divorced when she was five... ?

Question

This is about a girl I care about. Her parents got divorced when she was five, and there are these two things (she's 27 now).

(a) She can't sustain an interest in anything for too long, including hobbies or relationships, and that's her biggest problem in life. Any ideas? (She doesn't want psychiatric help - she just wants some kind of starting point she can work on.)

(b) She has this nightmare that finds her waking up sweating: a burglar makes his way to her house and to her room. She pretends to be asleep. The burglar doesn't do anything to her. But he doesn't go away either. At some point in that tension, she wakes (sweating and with her heart beating way too fast).

Any ideas from any women - or even men? Anything at all to go by? I'm not usually emotional on Y! Answers, but I really care about this girl and want to help her!

Thank you for reading -

Der Wolfenmann

Answer 1

a) Sounds like she has her starting point. She realizes she doesn't have focus. If she practices focusing and sees when she isn't, eventually she'll have it down.

b) burglars in our dreams represent feelings of being deprived because of someone else's actions. So she probably still feels deprived of something because of her parents' divorce, that's why the burglar won't leave, even if she pretends to be asleep (pretends it didn't happen).

Answer 2

She may have to decide what she wants most? If she wants to continue to go thru life aimlessly sort of speak or does she want some professional help. I mean when your sick you go to the doctor and this is no different. Other than that I don't know because her issues sound like she may be dealing with some deep rooted child hood issues. I say this because if they got divorced at five, it really shouldn't have had an major affect on her, unless she never saw dad much after that, or unless mom never got over it, and therefore it lead to her mom emotionally abadoning her. Either way those are both serious issues of abandonment. That are really really deep rooted. and proffesional therapy may be best since this affecting her life in all aspects.

But if you care for here stick by her side either way, just don't give more than you have to give, and give her space! people like that usually don't like to be suffocated.

Answer 3

for B, im not sure if this is directly involved with her parents divorce but it may play a part. There could be something in her subconsious that she needs to have surfaced. Talking with a councelor could help or hypnotizm. or its just a plain old reacuring nightmare
for A, that could just be how she is, she hasnt found the "thing" or person who intersts her. she dosnt need psychiatric help for that. If thats her biggest problem in life, then she is better then most. She needs to find what she wants and go for it whether its a hobby or relationship.

Answer 4

I think you sound like a wonderful guy to care so much, although it also appears as if your attraction to this girl is due to your need to rescue. Put that element out of the relationship and treat her like an adult that is responsible for her own well being. Your job as a boyfriend is to be supportive. Stop looking at her as if she were some victim of some horrible life experience. Many people come from broken homes and I am not denying that some baggage does come from that, but a person that wants to thrive gets help and makes choices that enhance their lives.

Answer 5

That is really nice i am superstious she is having this dreams for a reason she see's buglar com into her room she is waitng for someone to rob her or take her away this signifies that when her parents got divorced a part of her was tooken away and she can not live happy becuase of this. Tell her that you care about her let her know your feels. Its is going to be hard but she is afraid of commitment. Becuase she is scared.

Answer 6

Thousands of children experience divorce at an early age and turn out just fine. You really can't blame something that happened 22 years ago to be the problem today.

Answer 7

could desire to she be plausible having an out physique journey. What I propose by utilising it quite is that in the time of her dream she won't be seeing a burglar, yet she is seeing herself, astral projection, in basic terms till now she comes returned into her own physique. Has she tried looking a collection to connect form of like AA, yet for courting subject concerns/commitments? this could nicely be a stable place for her to start.

Answer 8

I think if she doesn't want to get professional help. Than all you can do is just talk to her and listen to her, that's all you can do for her. Maybe in time, after she figures out that your not going to leave her like her dad did. Than the dreams will pass.

Answer 9

She sounds like she has AADD and they have medications that will help that. And I don't think the divorce of her parents has anything to do with it. At least not the divorce itself, maybe if her parents were mean to one another or it was messy; but that is because of her parents not their divorce.

Answer 10

Sounds like panic attacks to me.