OK, here's the situation. a girl marries a guy. She's based abroad, he's not. He's had prior "experience" she has not. They were together a week, then she goes back abroad, and he stays in India. When she gets home, she's advised to go back and stay with her husband. She doesn't care for India, but is willing to begrudgingly go for the sake of her marriage. Her husband says not to come. There's nothing wrong in the marriage, but he knows her distaste, and how bored she will be. She asks him how he'll deal with his "frustrations" she's looking for ideas. He says he'll just deal with them by himself. She asked how he dealt with them prior to marriage...he said he's had help. She asks how he can deal w/o her or anyone now in marriage, when before, he needed others. He just says he deals and is faithful. What should she make of this? Mature answers welcome. I'm just not sue how a guy who's had relations before marriage can go w/o after marriage. Any thoughts and input welcome. thankls.
2007-10-24 07:11:09 · 20 answers · asked by Uncertain Soul 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, one way to deal is a word that rhymes with 'caster fate.' Sorry, I know you said 'mature,' but I couldn't resist.
2007-10-24 07:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by Don 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, a marriage is more that a piece of paper that binds you together. To have a real marriage, you must be together. So, if you want to have a real marriage, then either he needs to come to you, or you need to go to him. No matter how wonderful a man is, he has needs, and they must be met one way or another. (and you too, for that matter) If you are worried about him straying, you should, as you are not there for him.
For this marriage to work, someone must be willing to make a sacrifice and move.
I hope you can work this out as marriage is great with the right person and the right time.
2007-10-24 07:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Angiej1213 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man can cheat whether he is right next to you or 10 states away. It just depends on the man. But if I were you, if there is anyway possible that I might be able to stand India I would go, a man and woman that is married should be together if there is no real reason for them not too. That is what being married is about!
2007-10-24 07:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is an important part of marriage but its not the whole and sole of marriage. just because you 2 are married does not mean you should be joined at the hip. sometimes due to unavoidable reasons the spouses have to live apart from each other and they do, it only shows maturity and trust if you are able to do this. if you are having doubts that your partner may cheat on you its better you go back to india because where there is doubt there is no faith and without faith there is no marriage.
2007-10-24 23:44:07 · answer #4 · answered by Pramod R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the questions u have asked u have already answered Ur self subconsciously the saying is when the cat is away the mice play.don't be an ostrich with Ur head in the sand avoiding reality .u have not mentioned u he cant go with u abroad any case better to finish a relationship where Ur heart is not 100 percent sure now than after a few kids and more complications
2007-10-24 07:48:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a faithful kinda person then him doing it himself will be no problem, u don't need someone to get u off ALL people are capable of doing it themselves! What u need to look at is... Has he cheated on any1 b4? Has he given her any reason to wanna cheat?... I don't think it was the fact that he NEEDED others he just prefered others cuz why not he was w/ no1 else (single) so why not explore other people but now that he's w/ some1 he may not find that necessary!
Marriage comes w/ trust...if u have no trust u have no marriage!!
2007-10-24 07:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had that problem. He was in the military and often away for months at a time. We used to talk on the phone, some very hot conversations and got each other off. I'd write long detailed letters about what I wanted to do to him or have him do to me, enclosed sexy pictures. I used to tease him about getting callouses on his hand, but he never turned to anyone else. Now he is retired and we are together all the time. We recently moved and I found those letters I wrote him, he saved every one. With a smile on his face he said they give him some of the best wet dreams ever.
2007-10-24 07:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by Girly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the fact that he married this girl says something about him. He probably takes his vows seriously and choose her for a reason. I dont think that he's cheating. Guys get used to not having relations and can deal just a well as women can. There is much more to a marriage than sex.
2007-10-24 07:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by enriquelomasa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there were dry spells when he didn't have anyone to help him before marriage, and I'm sure he got through those just fine. Just because he has experience doesn't mean that he won't take the vows of marriage seriously. All marriages require trust and commitment to work. Have previous experience has nothing to do with cheating.
2007-10-24 07:15:33 · answer #9 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, this is Onist. Well first let me say that it is possible for him to stay faithful. The only problem is that men and women have needs. I not talking physical need, talking emotional.
If you want a detailed answer on what it takes for a man to be faithful and to stay committed. Go to http://www.onistsense.com here you will find out what a man needs also why men cheat in the first place.
Read Women and Men also read Why people cheat.
The answers are there. GOOD LUCK
2007-10-24 07:22:06 · answer #10 · answered by onist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy is mature (and hopefully he is because he's married and somebody has chosen his as her *life partner*) he will be able to deal. Perhaps he took outside help before because he could, because it was a perfectly fine option for him before. Now, he will hopefully weigh his commitment, responsibilities, and your feelings before he makes any choices.
P.S. How long is this living arrangement supposed to last? Can he come to live with her?
2007-10-24 07:18:03 · answer #11 · answered by Mariposa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋