but then last night he says he's not sure that he's ready for marriage? We have been together over two and a half years...what should I do...if your gonna be mean please don't bother
2007-10-24 07:08:03 · 22 answers · asked by Heather 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I must admit I am very nervous too...he only reason we decided to get married is cuz of everyone saying we needed to...yes like some of you have said we do have a child together but that still doesn't mean marriage commitment should be any easier
2007-10-24 07:27:50 · update #1
You both should have thought all this through before having a child out of wedlock. I would just ask him, do you want us or not?............xx
2007-10-24 07:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by lana s 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You know sometimes a relationship is better when just living together than being married. He has taken care of you and your little girl so far, give him the time he feels he needs before getting married. Alot of people don't agree with that, but there is a certain amount of freedom for both by living together, just needs to be a set date for marriage before having children and living together. I would say that after 2 1/2 years he should know if he wants to marry you. Give him whatever time you feel he will need and then it should be we get married or I move on. It will be hard if you have to move on but the longer you wait, the harder it will be for your little girl.
2007-10-24 07:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK My husband and I had our daughter before we were married. I told him once we started talking about getting married, that I didn't care what people said. I was willing to be a single mom. I did not want him to marry me because of our little girl. I wanted him to marry me because he loved me and want to be with me. We chose to get married because we love each other. Please don't listen to the people that tell you it is the right thing to do. Because trust me, it just may not be the right thing to do. look at all the people on here that ask questions about getting a divorce or have problems. This is a decision for the two of you and only you two to make. He may be very scared, It is life changing to get married. You need to sit down with him and talk to him, find out why he is feeling this way. Good luck and please don't get married just because you have a child together.
2007-10-24 07:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like cold feet Heather. The best thing to do here is try and keep yourself together. If he sees that you are confident and not phased by his lack of nerve, he will come around. You have to show him that you can stand on your own 2 feet so that he sees you as a partner, an equal. This will ease his mind and restore his confidence in the getting married.Good Luck!
2007-10-24 07:17:51 · answer #4 · answered by mominvalp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is such a huge commitment, granted you have a daughter together, but it doesn't mean he is "committed" to the life of a family man... that may scare him. It's a huge deal, and alot of people get scared.
If he wants to wait, give him space. Move back the wedding date. Don't pressure or scream.
2007-10-24 07:11:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It just sounds like cold feet. I wouldn't be to concerned about it. Marriage is a very big committment that he may not be ready for, he may just be to comfortable with the current relationship. He will come around just be patient.
2007-10-24 07:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been together that long,just be patient. He will see that he does or doesn't want to commit. Why take a chance of all the terrible things that a separation brings.
2007-10-24 07:12:48 · answer #7 · answered by New Nana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be nervous, or he could be hearing from his friends how horrible **eye roll** it is to be married. Ask him why specifically he thinks he may not be ready and be prepared to have a long engagement if he has issues he has to work out for himself.
2007-10-24 07:15:51 · answer #8 · answered by LKeri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you flat out...he's not ready. If being married is that important to you, then you might consider looking elsewhere. If you're happy with the relationship you have now, why push things?
2007-10-24 07:22:14 · answer #9 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi sweetie not surprized your man is flipping like a trout outta water.
marrige is very scary for guys--girls too.
what if I cant do it
what if I cant provide
what if I get sick and fall down a well
what if what if?
He knows he loves you and wants the committement
but is scared to death of failing you.
of course he's not ready
but he was ready to give you a kid so sugar, he's ready.
land that trout and love him through it all.
blessings
f.c.
2007-10-24 07:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by frankiechocolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just has cold feet honey. He is scared of making the commitment. If you just give it time his feet might warm up to the idea. Just don't push him into marring you he might feel like he is being forced to do it and get scared.
2007-10-24 07:16:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋