This is nice lady's HUSBAND using her account - so please keep that in mind when responding.
I am a chemist in a large company. I do development work and occassionally I am swamped and borrow resources from another area. There are four chemists in this area - 3 women one man. The man and one of the women are still quite inexperienced and are not taken (yet) for help. I am very friendly with all four and chat briefly every day with each of them.
The other two women help me out sometimes but each is upset when the other is called over to help me. I am not their boss, per se, but I do outrank them.
They also don't like the fact that I am friendly with the 3rd woman because they don't like her. Essentially, they are fighting over who my "favorite" is. I treat them all equally and am not flirty.
All of them are mad at me because I am friendly with all of them? This is ridiculous - Ithey are bickering and complaining because I treat them equally. What the heck do I do??
2007-10-24 06:56:06 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh and btw I am 34 and married. They are 22-26, and only one is married. I must the only older guy here who DOESN'T hit on them.
Isn't this stupid? I am being the perfect "boss" by being friendly yet professional and not being inappropriate and treating everyone equally and look what I get for it.
Oh and no I don't think ANY of them are "into me", BUT (yes bragging) I am extremely well respected as a scientist and mentor here so to get training from me is very beneficial to them. But I don't play favorites.
2007-10-24 06:56:22 · update #1
Oh no, women are as catty as the day is long. I've worked with super-catty women and hated it. I never got into that game and hate when other women act like that. I've noticed that the culture of a company has a lot to do with it.
I'm not sure there's much you can do besides ignore it and don't encourage it AT ALL. What I mean is, don't even give subtle clues or hints that would encourage them, not just doing obvious things. Pretend nothing is happening, because if they see that it affects you in any way, they will keep it up. NO REACTION.
At the last place I worked, 3 women asked everyone in the dept. to contribute money for a xmas gift for the 3 bosses of the dept. (asked for $20 per boss). I had only been working there about one month, so I gave $15 for my direct boss, and $5 for her boss, the next higher. I hadn't even met the director yet (the 3rd and highest ranking boss). Another girl who started a week or two before me did something similar.
So, a few days goes by and we get this letter from the ones orchestrating the fund collection that they did not think it was fair that everyone else would be giving $20 per boss and we were giving less. They didn't want us to get the same credit as they. Our choice was apply all the $20 to one boss, or they would return our money! Can you believe that? What the f, seriously?
So, I got my money back and bought gifts myself. Women can be the stupidest cattiest jerks on the planet. The trick is not getting involved. Who cares if they are mad at you? You're there to work and do a job....as they are, too. Remind them of that. Good luck.
2007-10-24 07:28:21 · answer #1 · answered by dmc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be a good question to ask your wife. She knows you better than anyone, and she might be able to best explain how women work. Assuming everything is on the up and up, and no one has a thing for anyone else, I'm going to assume that when you call one of these women over for help, they are under the impression you respect their work (that is why you call them over, right?). So if you are calling one over and leaving the other two, at that moment, they believe you respect that one woman's work more than theirs. Each probably believes her work is the best, and they are still young enough to not be able to be proud of their own work and still respect someone elses. If you were their supervisor, I would say you should address it with them, but seeing as you're not, you should address this with their direct supervisor (in private).
2007-10-24 14:15:18 · answer #2 · answered by oj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its tough being the boss over a bunch of women!! They can be as evil as satin himself! I once worked with48 of em, and I really did drink too much after that assignment ended! You've got to have nerves of steel! And I did my job, nothing more, nothing less!! But they always had catfights,bickering, and just rude at times!! Good luck
2007-10-24 14:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...this is kind of confusing....but sounds like ya'll are back in High School. First, who cares what each other thinks. They are being to immature, ignorant women......women?...i wouldn't call them "women"....I'll call them "little girls" because thats how they are acting.
My advise is don't change how you act with any of them. If you need to ask a question.....do some research before asking those "little girls" or ask the 3rd lady for the answer.
Its time for this society to get over the "popularity contest"
2007-10-24 14:04:17 · answer #4 · answered by yellowb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steady on and stay your course...The one thing to very careful about is 'playing the favorite,' which can unlock the door to cronyism and sexual harassment issues...If your co-workers can not get along among themselves, that is their problem - and theirs alone, unless it interferes with your work...And if it cuts into your productivity, then I would suggest discreet conversations with each of these individuals and let them know how you feel about their behavior and how its affecting your work and if it doesn't stop, you will be forced to advise your boss of the situation...That way there are no surprises...Hopefully, a slight nudge will prompt these folks to concentrate more on their work and less on who the 'favorite' is.
All the best.
2007-10-24 14:15:20 · answer #5 · answered by thud.fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for sit down counseling with them and their boss, whoever writes their appraisal or evaluations, let them know you won't put up with unprofessional attitudes, they may still be mad but you shouldn't have to listen to it.
2007-10-26 14:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by gary36330 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them they are not in high school any more. This is real life and you can choose to be friendly with whomever you like.
2007-10-24 14:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by mamabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't entertain any bickering unless one of them comes to you about it. They've created it on their own so they can deal with it on their own.
2007-10-24 14:06:38 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
women can be difficult. just maybe say you're here to work and do your job, nothing more.
2007-10-24 15:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sarahz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are being to nice to them without realizing what your doing
2007-10-24 15:07:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋