Is it just me or do guys change over time. I have been in a four year relationship (engaged) and my guy used to be so sweet. Love notes...dinner...and now...he seems so flat. I know the honeymoon part of the realtionship is over life is how its gonnabe now but is it just me?
2007-10-24 06:39:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still do sweet stuff for him alll the time. I fell liek i give more than i get most of the time.
2007-10-24 06:43:46 · update #1
Maybe you changed and he does not think you are worthy of all that stuff anymore?
Ever think about that?
2007-10-24 06:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I think there are many stages that relationships go through.
1. The initial stage, excitement is high and everything is wonderful.
2. The comfortable stage, I am comfortable with the way things are and don't want to change anything. (this may be where your boy friend is now).
3. The Whats up stage, Why isn't this the way it was? (this may be where you are now).
4. The re-discovery stage, Where you get to know each other again and find out things you did not know before. (we all change over time and need to re-discover our selves and our mates from time to time)
5. The its not fun anymore stage, Here you may not be sure what happened or why but it seems like it is more work than it is worth.
Now you don't necessarily go through these in order and you can go through multiple stages multiple times. The key to it all is communication, realization that you and your partner can be in different stages at different times, and a strong willingness on both your parts to work to make things work out for you both.
2007-10-24 14:05:47 · answer #2 · answered by countryguyhfc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you expect him to write love notes for the rest of your life?
Love notes isn't the only way to let the other person know you appreciate and enjoy them. Hopefully he still does things that express his appreciation for you.
Does he still come home to you every night? Does he share the details of his day with you? Does he ask about your day? Does he talk about the future? Does he enjoy spending time with you? Does he pull his share of the weight in taking care of the family? If you answered yes to most of these questions, you are a very lucky woman. If most of your answers were "no", the problem is deeper than the absence of the love notes.
2007-10-24 13:46:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
in lieu of love notes and flower my husband shows me he loves me by getting up everyone morning and going to a job he doesnt really like so we can pay for our house. Theres a lot more to love then material things. I get the greatest joy from things he doesnt even know he's doing like the way he rolls into me while hes sleep to pull me closer to him. That is 100 times better than flowers. Love notes can just be words its doing the tough stuff the actions that are important
2007-10-24 14:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by sarah W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I SERIOUSLY do not believe the honeymoon cannot go on forever. I have been married to my LUV for 3 years. He is as sweet and thoughtful now as ever. I'm always telling him how sweet he is. He tells me it's because I treat him so nice and make him happy. Think about it......if you make him happy and he loves you he will want to reciprocate. If he's not I would ask myself why?
2007-10-24 15:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand what is meant by "...dinner...". He stopped eating with you or cooking for you? As far as notes go, how many times before gesture becomes an empty gesture due to repetition? Good luck finding that guy that gives you a meaningful love note everyday till he dies.
2007-10-24 13:51:19 · answer #6 · answered by x2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol.. its not that he has changed so much as he has quit trying to win you over. You are seeing the REAL him.
If you don't like it.. then... break it off and move on. Keep in mind though.. this IS HIM.. HE will NOT change... so you know what you are in for and shouldn't be surprised when he remains as he is 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now.
2007-10-24 13:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh Dear get used to what you have just described because that's the way it is going to be when you get married.They forget every occasion,In less reminded.I leave notes for my Husband and always reamer all the Holidays even the money maker ones like sweetest day.He is one to get me something out of the Blue and then say it is for one of the upcoming Holidays,I used to get mad but now i appreciate that he just remembers me !
2007-10-24 13:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, everyone changes over time. That romantic high you got can not be maintained over the years. If you expect that, you are in for a big dissappointment, Cinderella.
2007-10-24 13:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just because you do "sweet" stuff for him doesnt mean your doing what HE likes. Youre doing what youd like for him to do for you. Find out what he likes then do that and maybe he wont be so flat.
2007-10-24 13:46:37 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no it's not just you im in a 2 yr relationship (engaged) and omg no more flowers, no dinner, no date nights, hardly any good sex, maybe two phone calls a day from him, etc etc...its horrible...my problem was letting him move in before marriage and now hes gotten comfortable but i own the house so i might just be letting this one go before too long :) GOOD LUCK with yours
2007-10-24 13:44:31 · answer #11 · answered by gracey 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋