my husband got mad...?

Question

we've been married a year and have three dogs between us. Two were his before the marriage, one was mine. Well one of his dogs has been throwing up and looks lethargic and losing weight and also has this scabby thing on her head. The dogs stay in the backyard and I feed them and take care of them. Husband rarely cares for them or even goes out there to see them. So when I told husband a second time about the dog appearing sick he got all mad and said he had no time to be troubled by a sick dog and couldn't handle the stress of dealing with it. He didnt even go out to check the dog til later in the evening. Later he says the dog doesn't look sick to me but if you think she's sick then you can take her to the vet. I am having such a negative emotional reaction to how my husband responded. What are your thoughts and what should I say to him, and what should I do about the dog?

Answer 1

i would take the god to the vet and see what is wrong with it. that way when you talk to your husband about it again you will know what is wrong. you do not want the other dogs to get sick. maybe it is just you talk needs to be taken of or it could be something worse like a infection that can not be taken care of. if that is the case that will make your decagons easier to make. i would just take care of it because it does not sound like your husband will do anything about it. good luck to you and the dog. just make the best decision for the dog you do not want it to suffer.

Answer 2

Your husband is stressed out and he is taking it out on you. I would tell him I did not like the way he talked to you about the dog and that will either make him keep being mean or straighten up. If the dog needs the vet take him since you have been caring for them and it is the humane thing to do. If your husband does not act better then just try to find ways to feel better on your own if you can. Try going for a walk or doing something you enjoy. If you husband is stressed out you can try to cheer him up but if he is so negative that he brings you down too much then back off from him and tell him I am not dealing with your bad attitude anymore,whatever your problem is you better not take it out on me and then say you see this scabby dog of yours,I am going to shove him up your butt . Just Kidding:)

Answer 3

Wow, how did he come to have 2 dogs? Did they come into his life during a previous relationship, and he kept them out of spite when the relationship ended? That's the only way I can think of. Sorry to say he sounds self-centered. I wouldn't be surprised if, should you ever get really sick, his focus would be on how he has to pick up your slack (in terms of doing the household functions you normally do), and how hard it is for *him*. I knew someon who was married to a guy who sounds like him. Even though he wanted children before the marriage he kept putting it off. Eventually the birth control failed (some antibiotics affect the pill), she became pregnant, and he was less than supportive. She ran around doing everything, even with morning sickness. After their daughter was born, he resented the time the child took away from him, as well as the extra work a child brings. My friend had enough, left him, and 2 years later, is marrying a man who adores her daughter (who calls him "da", since her ex doesn't even see her because he'd have to be current on child support).

Take the dog to the vet. Whatever the poor thing has, it could be contagious. Get your name on the vet bills, renew the doggie licenses in your name. Truthfully, when you leave him (and attitudes like his don't get better, nor are they confined to pets. You deserve someone who is supportive, compassionate enough to be affected by suffering), you should take the dogs. Dogs are social animals, and want to be around their "pack". Truthfully, they probably consider you their pack leader/mommy. If you live in the NYC area, I'd help you to socialize them be indoor/outdoor dogs. I bet your dog didn't live in the yard before you were married, and he/she probably wondered why the exile? We've had three dogs who primarily lived inside with us, but also went out into the yard.

Also, get a good lawyer. This man can't see farther than memememe. Your quality of life will improve alot.

Answer 4

First, aside from the dog issue, I hasten to say that your husband is not acting like a partner in your marriage. You first said that "we've been married a year and have three dogs..." then you go on to refer to the dog as "his" dog. Sounds like your husband might have some anger issues right now and he might need to act a little more in tune with your marriage. You know, equal partners and all... About the dog... please take it to the vet. Your husband says he's cool with that. And, even though you're having marital issues and your husband is putting off what should be his responsibility especially because he brought the dog into the relationship; it's most important to make sure that the dog is healthy.

Answer 5

I don't think he is going to do anything about the dog. If I were you, I would take the dog to the vet and find out what is going on. Your husband apparently decided the dogs were your responsibility once you married him even though 2 of them were his before the marriage. Don't let the dog lay there and suffer. Do something about it and then deal with your husband later. If he gets mad, then he is just a selfish individual. Good luck and I hope your dog gets better!

Answer 6

your husband might be stressed out and cannot think straight. maybe handle this your self if you can. Try not to get upset with him. You have only been married a year, you are still learning each other. After the fact, when you husband is in a good mood, talk with him about it in a very constructive way and let him know how upset you were that he didn't help with the dog and ask him to be more patient next time and if he is having issues like stress or what have you, to communicate with you, so you won't feel so bad.
We as women are smarter and more sensitive. We have to be patient with men, it takes a while for them to catch up.

Answer 7

Being outside, there's lots of things your dog could have gotten into that might have made her sick. Take her to the vet and have her looked at. Sure, you'll spend $100 but you'll know if something is wrong.
Sometimes people react strangely in times of stress. Internally this could be eating him up, but externally he's acting inappropriately. He might be afraid to take her himself because he's afraid to hear that something really IS wrong.
I've seen some people do pretty odd things when they're upset like this.
Unless he's normally a jerk about everything, I'd believe he's just dealing with this in the wrong way.
You could also try feeding her a higher quality food. Innova and Canidae are both excellent choices, very high in nutrition. I've fed both to my dogs and highly recommend them.

Answer 8

Sounds like the guy is waaaaayyy stressed out and this is the last thing he needs. Oh wait he told you that! People should start by LISTENING!!
He either loves the dog and can't face it. Or does'nt care about the dog and wants you to handle it.
Not saying it's right that he acted that way. But I don't know the guy. Or you. But I'm sure there have been things you did'nt want to deal with before that he took care of for you. So maybe you should give him some slack on this one.

Answer 9

First of all, ALL pet owners have a responsibility to do all they can to take care of their pets when they are healthy or sick! You should take the dog to the vet to make sure it's ok! Secondly, it sounds like your husband is not being very caring towards the animal, it makes me hope that you don't have children! Maybe he was just having a really bad day and took it out on you and the dog. Either way, discuss it with him and in a non-confrontational way, tell him that it really bothered you that he reacted the way he did regarding the dog. Hope your puppy is ok!

Answer 10

What you should do with the dog is up to you. Even though it's your husband's dog, he has shown a lack of interest in the animal and so it's up to you.

If you care about the dog, take it to the vet and find out what's wrong with it. Your husband sounds like he doesn't want to be bothered about it, so don't short of giving news that the dog is going to die if the vet indicates as such (that, I imagine, he might want to know about despite his apparent disinterest).

I can understand how your husband's perceived indifference is causing you emotional distress. If you think he'd be willing to talk with you about your feelings, then bring it up. If you think he wouldn't be helpful in that department, confide in a friend that is willing to listen.