Me and my wife just got married in august. she is the mother to my duaghter and has two lil boys alson who i have taken on. The problem is we got married wheni was on leave and she just split from her ex. Now the ex is always comin over to see his son and while i trust her i dont trust him. I know he is there to see her and not his son. To top it off i am in Iraq with 10 months left of my deployment so I have little I can do other than make myelf look like an *** and short of denying him see his son say i dont want him there. The guy doesnt work is practically homeless and is always askin my wife for help. I know she doesnt love him but she uses the excuse "he is the father of my child" when ever he needs help or he is messed up on alchohol and is crying about BS. I dont know what to do cause I hate to say it but i am jealouse cause he spends more time with my family than i do and its killin me that everytime we talk about it it ends up in a fight. HELP Me with some advice!!!
2007-10-24 06:18:27 · 6 answers · asked by megabite_me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have enough to worry about with you being in Iraq, i now its hard and totally mind consuming but ya gotta trust your wife. Talk to her tell her how u feel, maybe it'll make u feel better hearing it from her and having her rassure you. Im sure things will be fine and you'll be home again bnefore ay know it. She loves you not him thats why she is with you, not him anymore. Good luck!!!
2007-10-24 06:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, thank you for serving our country. My husband was sent to the gulf for 11 months. Have you tried explaning this to your wife??? If not, tell her to read this question and maybe she will be a little more understanding with how you feel. As for the ex coming over all the time, it there a custody agreement set up?? You guys should talk and come up with some sort of plan with the visitation of the boys.
2007-10-24 13:56:49 · answer #2 · answered by Truth Hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you can do either except keep communicating as much as you can with your wife to keep her emotionally as close as possible. Try and look on the bright side, at least you'll find out through all of this what she's really made of. This guy sounds like a real loser.
Thanks for doing your thing over there. You're tops in my book for that.
Good luck and I'll keep you in my prayers.
2007-10-24 13:32:37 · answer #3 · answered by Duck in the woods 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea I know....I just got married in July and my husband and I share the same issue. I finally changed my cell number and forced him to stick to the custody arrangement and now he pretty much leaves me alone. He is just manipulating your wife to come between you two and probably doesn't even want her back but just doesn't want her to be happy either. Just be honest with her and trust her, she may eventually see him for what he is. But you are right about one thing it is just an excuse when she says "he is the father of my child". It's not her job to fix him or save him anymore and by doing so she is acting as his WIFE not the mother of his child, he is no longer her responsibility and only she can decide that for herself. You can't make her. I am sorry for you though that you are fighting for our country and our freedom and you have to deal with this without really being able to have much control. Thank you for what you are doing for me and my children and all of us over here and know that we love you and pray for you everyday. God Bless
2007-10-24 14:32:03 · answer #4 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be understanding. Someday, the kids will be grown and they will be glad they got the opportunity to have their father around and decide for themselves how they feel about him. And you won't be dealing with him anymore. I'm glad you trust your wife. Just keep thinking about coming home to her and the kids.
2007-10-24 13:41:11 · answer #5 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask, what kind of care is your daughter getting when she is putting so much energy into helping him?
2007-10-24 13:30:55 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋