My husband and I recently got married. I thought I "knew" alot about him, but come to find out I dont know anything. He has lied to me about his whole life. I found out about everything once his parents came to visit. He said he had been in the military 7 years, but his parents said only 1 year. He said he owned a 175 acher horse ranch. His parents said he lives with them in a trailor in Louisiana. He has told me tons and tons of lies about himself, and his parents tell me something totally different. But he gets his lies from other people. Like he said he has 2 pit bulls, but the pitbulls he is referring to belong to his aunt ( with the same names ). Every time I catch him in a lie I confront him. I am tired of him telling me, my friends and family lies and treating me like I have to do everthing for him ( pay bills, clean house, cook dinner, do clothes ) its not worth it. I need to know how to confront him and how to go about getting a divorce. Someone please help me!!!!!
2007-10-24 06:08:05 · 14 answers · asked by kryddlez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave him. You didn't marry him, you married someone that doesn't exist... therefor it was crap to begin with.
2007-10-24 06:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by girlnextdoor409 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to leave this man, as soon as possible. If you can possibly stay with your family, or a trusted friend, wait until your husband is away from home and leave. Take whatever you can; but don't come back once you're gone. Don't bother to confront him either. He'll only say what he thinks you want to hear. You know the truth and that's all that matters. Contact an attorney and file for divorce. Hopefully, you have no children by this man; so it can be a clean break.
Lying is a sickness for your husband and he's not going to stop because you confront him. I've known people like this. They are frightening, because you don't know who they really are. They literally live a lie. Even when they get caught in their lies, they continue to deceive you. You can't live like this--not for long. Get out now, while your life is not so complicated. You made a mistake, so leave it at that. Be wise and don't waste any more time or money on this man. He's not worth it. Best wishes!
2007-10-24 06:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weren't there any red flags while you were dating him? I would have wondered why no evidence of pit bulls,no trip to show me the ranch, no medals from those seven years, no visits to meet his parents.
But...now you're married to him. I assume you married him because you love him, not the things he said he had. At best he has a poor self image and feels he is not worthy of you. Therefore, he makes up things he "wishes" he had. At worst, you may have married a psychological liar.
If it's an ego problem, assure him you love him no matter what he owns or doesn't own. You married him, not possessions. Remind him he NEVER, EVER has to lie to you again because you love HIM, not things. And tell him lying will ruin your relationship.
As to all the things you say you have to do for him. I taught school, raised a family, and did all those things (and more), not for ME but for US. If he is employed and supporting the family, those seem to be the normal things for you to be doing. If you are also working outside the home, it would certainly be good if he were helpful. Perhaps he could change the bed linens, carry out trash, keep the car(s) washed, gassed up, and on a maintenance schedule. Maybe once a week the two of you could clean the house together and get done quicker so you could spend more fun time together.
But now, if he continues to lie, things will only get worse and your marriage will go down the drain.
2007-10-24 06:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being bipolar doesn't help in a marrage. you are always so up and down I know my daughter is bipolor. It hasn't been the past 40 years with that , will any way she got a divorce and never wants to get married again. That doesn't mean that you cant remarrie, but they say that a person with bipolor usually gets married more then four times . You need to get on medication and get on with your life the right medication will help alot but don't jump into things without thinking them through because that is part of the problem when on a high it seem like the right thing to do, then on the low you wonder why you ever did it. Find a good dr. and I hope that you can have a happy life.
2016-05-25 12:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best tool you can use against a liar is honesty... you need to be honest with him... People lie all the time but it seems in your case he is a chronic liar...he has issues... maybe he feels he needs to lie to you because he hasn't acclompished enough.. anyway.. I would say comfront him and if you see it's not getting better, get out while you still can.
2007-10-24 06:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by back to haunt u 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave.....Run get out as fast as you can. He doesnt need to understand. This guy sounds like a loser and not some one who respects you, because if he did he would not lie. He also sounds extremely depressed and unpredictable. Being that upredictable can be dangerous, so leave the house and then send him a fax that you want a divorce!!!!
Goodluck!
2007-10-24 06:17:33 · answer #6 · answered by sportsfan22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You surely have grounds for divorce. See a lawyer right away and get rid of him. I would be scared of someone like him. No telling what he will come up with next.
2007-10-24 06:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by jamsterette@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get him to see a therapist and you yourself go through counseling. If you are going to break up two years from now because of his lies and treatment it is better to break up now than live those two years in misery.
2007-10-24 06:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by moniwat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you married the husband I left a couple of months ago after 27 years of the same thing.
Sure its not him? lol
Get out FAST!!!!
2007-10-27 12:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Leah M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to make his past life better than what it is. Tell him to stop lying now and help out around the house or you are going to find other options.
2007-10-24 06:12:19 · answer #10 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just divorce him, don't let him stop you, he's probably cheating as well... leave...now! that's what you do! don't let him waste your time anymore... because that's what he's making you do... run around to find out the truth all of the time... he's a loser... =(... no need to confront... just file for the divorce and show him you filed so he knows how serious his problem is! =)
2007-10-24 06:13:53 · answer #11 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋