Currently me and my wife are in a financial bind nothing bad that we risk losing anything at this point. But things are kind of tight. Anyway she is planning to take a week off from her job that does not pay her for vacation time. I have asked her if she could cut her vacation short by 2 days so we dont end up losing alot of money. This will leave her with 5days to relax and do what she needs to. Well she is very upset that I have asked her to do this and is telling my that I am being insensitive. Can some please tell me who I am wrong in asking her to do this.
2007-10-24 05:05:27 · 34 answers · asked by ogoisanogo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a Salaried employee so I dont get paid overtime.
2007-10-24 05:36:53 · update #1
I don't think you are wrong at all. You two are a team and you need to work together during times like this. My hubby and I have struggled a lot over the years, and I have even gone so far as to pick up a second job when things got tough...I would never leave him in a bind where he was the only one working when we were stressed...not for one month, one week, not even one day...
It is pretty important that the two of you get on the same page...
Try printing out a "income/outflow" writeup and show her how you will be affected if she takes a vacation now vs. after you get your tax return, for example...
If she won't agree to that then try to get her to sell some stuff from your garage or things you don't use anymore...you can sell it on craigslist.org or have a garage sale on one of the weekends she is off...as long as you treat that money as income, you may be able to slightly offset her vacation.
Good luck!
2007-10-24 06:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by joellemoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand the money situation but if she has planned out her vacation time, I'm sure she has, it's a little selfish to ask her to change all of her plans at this point. Maybe she can put in overtime after the vacation to make up the loss in $$.
2007-10-24 05:11:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My experience says that "its not your thought that irritates people, but the timing, tone and the way you position it that gets people upset".
I think your timing or presentation was not right. Let the matter cool down for a while and get her in a good mood. Say it in a soft and non-demanding manner such that you leave the choice to her (and I mean that) but would she like to consider it as an option? Don't press it any further and leave the decision - as a genunine responsbility on her.
I'm sure she appreciates the financial position just as much as you do. And she's a responsible adult. She might see things differently and agree.
All the best
2007-10-24 05:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by cucumber_cool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is unreasonable. If you all are having money problems, why are you the only one who cares? I think she's being unreasonable and somewhat childish for not facing the facts: You all are in a financial bind and every little bit helps. Heck, you could have asked her not to take ANY time off! That would be a little harsh, but I think your request makes perfect sense.
2007-10-24 05:13:59 · answer #4 · answered by lavishme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both should compromise... What you suggested is just that. She wants time off, money is tight. Instead of taking the full time, you're asking she cut 2 days... I think you're being more than fair by asking.
If I don't work, I don't get paid. If I knew things were a bit tight, I would probably cut my 7 days to maybe 4. Anything I couldn't get done in 4 days could wait another couple of weeks.
2007-10-24 05:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she's in the same boat I'm in. I get no vacation time, but I really need a vacation. So, I will be saving every dime I can until that time. Suggest that rather than her cutting her vacation short. It can be done. We all need some time off once in awhile. Good luck and take care!
2007-10-24 05:13:27 · answer #6 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you talk to her and find out where she is coming from. Sometimes you just need to get away from the grind. At the same time if money is tight maybe she could work some overtime to compensate or you can to help her out by working overtime. Marriage is about giving and listening. You both need to present your side to each other and listen.
2007-10-24 05:31:22 · answer #7 · answered by M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is she taking time off? If it is for an importamt reason, like health or famliy issues then maybe you should just drop it but if it just for her to relax I think you are being totally resonable with your request. This is something you two need to talk out. Maybe she is over stressed and really needs the time off or maybe she doesn;t quite understand what a week off could do t your budget. Whatever it is, you both need to know where the other person stands and come to a compramise.
2007-10-24 05:17:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kisses & Hugs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know what her job is but if it is stressful or hard then it is kind of unfair to ask her to give up two days.
If you are having financial issues start getting rid of things that you don't need to live. Magazine subscriptions, phone plans, digital cable...cut it down to just basic. Don't eat out as much.
Everyone needs some time off here and there. It stinks that she doesn't get PTO, but you will just have to make do. Don't deny her some time off especially if you have kids too.
2007-10-24 05:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by mamabee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are wrong. I think she just wants her time off though - like it is something she deserves or something like that. She has probabally imagined all the things she is gonna do during her time off, or just relax time. But I dont think 2 days less is unreasonable. Will 2 days make that much of a difference in pay? I think asking her to not take it at all is a little much though.
2007-10-24 05:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋