Husband stole son's money ? Am I over reacting ?

Question

Last night, I was looking for my heating pad. I found it near my sons bank. I had been saving money for him before he was born. The last time I counted the money the bank had about 400.00 in it. I noticed the bank was EMPTY. So I called my husband in the room and asked him about it. He looked at me dumb founded and didnt say anything. I followed him to the living room and asked again . He said that he spent the money . I was sooooo pissed off. I was yelling, and I cursed him. In a way I feel bad, but at the same time WHY would he do something like that ? So... as he was getting ready for work this morning he tried to kiss me but I put my hand in his face. Basically we arent speaking, and I dont plan to talk to him anytime soon. I am over reacting / or being too harsh. He shouldnt have touched my sons bank. I am so mad.
Advice Appreciated.

Answer 1

You can't keep ignoring each other. Talk about it like adults take about things. Tell him why you are mad, ask him what he spent the money on and why he didn't tell you. How old is your son? I mean, if he's still little then your hubby has plenty of time to replace the money. I know it probably feels like he "stole" from you/your son..but he MAY have a good reason. Anyways, i know this is Soooo cliche' but the key to a good marriage is communication. Good Luck! And just remember-i'm sure your son would rather have happy parents who love each other then 400 dollars.

Answer 2

What?
Lots of information required here.

Does he work? Do You?
How much of his money goes to raise YOUR child?
How much of the child is HIS too?
Did you even ask what he used it for?
Do you run all the money in the house and ,make him beg for every dollar, after he gives you his paycheck?
Do you have any idea what his motivation was? Do you care?

Based on the short info here, I think you have too much cash laying around if $400.00 is that big a deal, that you should have opened a savings account, that you are pretty selfish about the allocation of household funds, that once you put it in the piggy bank it is now off limits to anything unless he says mommy may I,that you are so overreacting and lastly that he should take that birthday/anniversary present back get the money and shove it back in your face before he leaves.

Answer 3

WOW that sound serious. Do you see all your bills? If you were both short on bill money that would be understandable but if not, I would get to the bottom of what he did with it. He could possibly have a drug or gambling problem. I would think if it was for bills, you would know about it. That is horrible. Stealing from your own children- YES, I'd be mad. Do yourself a favor and find out what's going on. It could be more serious than you think.

The right thing for him to do would of been to tell you before he did it. That's if it was for something legit- thats why I'm thinking it wasn't.

Keep your eyes wide open and be cautious.

Good luck!

Answer 4

It depends on why your husband spent the money. If he blew it on something stupid like beer or a hobby, I would make him promise to return the money and lock up your sons money the next time.
If he paid your electric bill, bought medicine or paid for groceries or some other necessity,then I would just drop it. Thats life.
I think you should discuss with him where the money went and then go from there.
Marriage is a partnership. I think he should have discussed it with you. He is not "stealing from your kid" since you and your husband are his providers, this is not theft.
You need to talk this over with your spouse and if he comes up with a good answer, forgiveness is in order. If he comes up with a bad answer, then you need to discuss it.

Answer 5

It is just your son? If it is both, and it was money from the household, then I don't think you can be too upset at him spending it... Now, him spending it without talking to you is a different story! He should have talked to you about what he wanted to spend it on, since you had a plan for it. Whats worse is if this was your son's savings from his allowance or something. All I can say is stop ignoring him and treating him like a child. Sit down, talk to him, explain what you were going to do with that money and why you were saving it. Try and see if he will talk to you. LISTEN to him. He may have just thought it was house funds or something. Or he may have thought it wasn't being used for anything. Don't act like he stole from you or your son, because in reality he didn't.

Answer 6

I was reading the answer left by "Just Me". I do not agree with what was posted. As parents, we'd like to think that we have raised our children to know the difference between right and wrong. I can understand why you did not stop your Son when he mentioned taking the money. You probably didn't believe that he actually would. Who wants to think that their child would actually steal from the collection plate? It is also easy for someone from the outside, "AFTER THE FACT" to pass judgement. I agree with the spanking. I do not spank my children often, I reserve it for serious offenses that I want to stick in their minds. What could be more horrible than stealing from the church collection plate on Easter sunday? I back you totally. By the time you are 7 years old, you know stealing is wrong, especially from the Church Collection plate. Do not doubt your parenting abilities. You punished your son because you love him and want the best for him.

Answer 7

First of all, it all depends on what he spent the money on.
If he took the $400 and went out for a night of booze and cheap women then yeah, you've got every right to be mad.
If he took the $400 because you guys were short on money and something needed to be paid then it's really not that big of a deal. He probably should have told you first but he didn't and now he knows what kind of trouble it will get him in.

Answer 8

You Are Entitled To Be Mad. Try And Let Him Give You Whatever His Reason Was It Could Be Legitt. I Mean Even If He Is Doing The Wrong Thing With It Maybe Ya'll Can Get Things Back On Track With His Admitting To The truth. Good Luck To You.

Answer 9

Why didn't you just open a savings account and put the money in their everytime it reached $100 or something.

That was pretty low of him to do that. I agree with the answerer above - this is what they call a RED FLAG.

Answer 10

The fact that your husband stole money from his own child and then has not told you how he spent the money is a HUGE red flag.

People who are doing the right thing do not steal, lie, and hide.

So I can pretty much assure you that something bad is happening. Do whatever needs to be done to get to the bottom of this or I'm afraid that you will get a very nasty surprise in the future.