At the beginning of the month i attended a house party and was he victim of a terrible rap. I cant tell my parents they didnt want me to go to me to go to the party and they would never understand. im seveteen and i am pregnant. this was obviously not my choice nor my fault. i dont know if i should keep the baby, give it up for adoption or have an abortion. what do he churches teach abou each decision. Please help!
2007-10-24 04:26:17 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Tell your parents. Tell the cops. They will not blame you for being raped.
Part of being grown up is dealing with the hard stuff.
2007-10-24 04:30:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry this happened to you.
I have a few things to say/suggest.
1. I was trained as a sexual assult counselor. I've seen women in the same position as you. I'd like to say that it's not your job to make sure this guy doesn't do that again. It's his job. It's very hard for you right now. If you didn't report it that night then that's ok. Maybe you can find it within yourself to report it. I know it's very scary.
2. If you were raped at the begining of the month then how do you know that you're pregnant? Usually you don't get a positive test that soon. Are you sure it's from this? Because that doesn't quite add up.
3. Seriously you need to tell your parents. If they blame YOU for being raped then there's something wrong with them. Only you can decide if you should have an abortion, give it up for adoption or keep it. This is nobody's choice but yours. Don't listen to any one but your heart. This is your choice. I know I'll get thumbs down, but really it is.
I wish you luck, but you must go to your parents now. You need to see a doctor. You also need to be checked for STD's. You could have gotten more than pregnant. You could end up sick too. Please, you must take care of yourself.
2007-10-24 05:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As the parent of 4 girls, let me tell ya hun, tell your mom and dad. They WILL understand, they may get angry at first because something so tragic happened to their little girl, but definetly tell them.
Next I would inform the police about the rape, I know its embarrassing, but remember it wasn't your fault and you didn't ask to be raped, and the ones that did it should be punished or they will do it to someone else.
As far as the baby goes, hun I would talk to first your parents, then your priest if you have one, and take what everyone recommends into consideration. Nobody can make that decision for you, they can assist with it, but push come to shove that decision is yours alone. Your still very young and have a full life to live ahead of you, I had my first child at 17, and wish everyday that I had waited. I wouldln't give up anyone of my children for the world because I love them dearly. Take sometime and give this some serious thought, you will know what to do in the end with your parents help.
Good Luck hun, which ever way you decide to go!
2007-10-24 06:32:43 · answer #3 · answered by hannahs3092000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your parents or the police about this!
I personally say you keep the baby, and put it up for adoption or something, I don't go for abortion. This baby could have a life, a beautiful life, to be ended with abortion? Go adoption.
Seek support from your friends and family!
They CANNOT blame you for getting pregnant, the only thing they could blame you, is attending the party, but I don't think that's going to matter much.
I'm sure your friends and family will comfort you during this time!
Hope everything turns out well!
2007-10-24 06:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sympathies to you sweetie.
You cannot let another girl get attacked by this disgusting guy, do it for all the girls sakes; tell your parents, tell the police! No one will think any less of you; unless, of course, you don't bother reporting this and then ruin another poor girls life.
As for the baby situation, no one can tell you what to do or what THEY think. You have to do what you believe. Maybe you feel you cannot destroy a life, maybe life doesn't begin until you are born or maybe you believe this child could have a better life with an adopted family. The one thing you must listen to is yourself. Listen to your heart, and listen to your brain. Take time to think it over then tell your parents, I'm sure they will understand, and if they don't; what's the worst that can happen?
You know, deep down, that you have to do this for all the other girls.
Best of luck, Princess Lola x
2007-10-24 05:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know you are scared to tell your parents but they would respect you a whole lot more as a person if you told them the truth...
you are conpletely right it is not your fault at all....and i really could not tell you what churchs teach about it....
but for me....i dont think that you should get an abortion even though it might be easier that way....because honestly that baby deserves a chance to have its own life just as much as you do...thats why i did not have one...
you could give up the baby to someone that could not have a baby...but then there is always a chance that you will look back on it and regret giving up your baby....because it will always be a part of you no matter what you decide...
if you decide to keep the baby it will be ok too...your parents are always going to be there to support you because that is what family is for....they can help you raise the baby till you are old enough to do it on your own...
there are lots of options for you... but let me say this i know what you are going through im 17 and pregnant to and i have decided to keep my baby and i think its the best chose i could make ...im about 7 months along and the closer it gets the more im glad i didnt decide on anything else...
but if you need any one to talk to im always here my e-mail is babygirl_110405@yahoo.com..
good luck
P.S. if you have any question or anything you want to talk about specificly plz e-mail me i want to help as much as possible....because i really do know what you are going through
2007-10-24 04:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by voney w 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents. Don't blame your self in anyway. You are a strong individual to be able to even admit to yourself what is going on. You have options and you are going to need help in choosing those that are best for you and who better to help you then your parents. If you still feel you can't go to your parents, ask a friend or someone else you trust. This can be a person at the health department or a teacher. Just talk to someone. You would be amazed of how many people want to help you.
2007-10-24 04:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell someone it doesn't matter who and it's your decision about the baby. If you think you could really love it and want it knowing that you hadn't had it with someone you love then maybe you should keep it. Adoption is good for some people but could you really give your baby away as you'd always wonder where it had gone, would you be able to live with having an abortion.
I hope you make the right decision for you good luck.
2007-10-24 21:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am saying tell your parents. They may be upset that you weren't supposed to go in the first place, but when they get past that you need their help with this. You need to file a police report as well; I know you don't want another girl in your situation and you can help make sure that doesn't happen.
As for abortion or keeping the baby, that is going to be so hard as well, but I can tell you from personal experience that abortion just complicates things and does not make the situation go away. The church teaches that all life is sacred and a gift from God; that includes this unborn baby. Adoption is something you may want to consider if the thought of keeping the baby is too overwhelming.
As painful as this is and I am sure I don't have the first clue, please know that it will be worse if you hide it and deal with it by yourself. You have got to be in so much emotional turmoil that you CANNOT continue to deal with this alone. Your parents love you and they will help you through this. I know as a parent myself I would want to know even if my daughter disobeyed me in the first place. My job as a parent is to help her through this.
I will star your question and pray for you. Please get help through this.
2007-10-24 04:50:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay let me put myself in your shoes. Um i think that first of all I would've told my parents because getting raped and ending up pregnant is way more important then going somewhere you wasn't supposed to go. Before you make any mistakes think about the good and bad side. Like getting raped was the bad thing and a mistake but you shouldn't end a innocent baby's life for that. But hey if you don't listen to any of this please go tell your parents.
2007-10-24 07:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Realer_than_Reality 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all dont get rid of life its not a good idea. And if you give it up for adoption really think about it first it is an option. And yes it may not be a baby created out of love but it is yours, keep it may just be the light of your life. I am pregnant too that was not from love, but I plan to keep it.
Tell your parents your going to have to. yes it will be hard but, I have faith that you will get through this .Good luck!
2007-10-24 04:36:48 · answer #11 · answered by Mary R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋