Attnetion Men Only?

Question

Why is it so hard for you to help out with the kids and housework? What can a woman do to change this never ending issue?

Answer 1

I am a female but I think I know some reasons for this. My husband helps out with the kids and housework and he should because it is his kids and home too. It does not make any sense that a husband would not do so. I think this has to do with past generations that many are still stuck in. Moms who do everything for their boys and do not make their boys lift a finger probably will expect their wives to be the same way. My husbands father made him do so many chores growing up so he knows its a two part job. There are so many reasons for this but I believe it has to do with woman in past generations who have bred this with their spouses into their kids. OR it could be pure laziness.

Answer 2

I don't know in which world you live but men I know are quite active in raising their children and helping with the homework. My son, daughter in law and two grandchildren all have supper after work, then do the kids homework. He is also very helpful with the chores and housework. Great example set by his father I guess. Ha! Sad that some men find even after looking after the kids as babysitting but some do rather than parenting. Hopefully society will start seeing things the way that we do and truly their will be equality in the home.

Answer 3

Not all are same. I go to work and still do some work and play with kids, help keeping things clean etc.

though I agree there are different kind of men. some of the scenarios are....

1) Who earns the money and thinks their job is done.
2) Who eans the money and still help at home
3) Both partner earn and both do the equal work at home.
4) Both partner earn but only one work at home.
5) Men occasionally help in home.


I grew up seeing my mom doing all the work, and dad simply earn money and when come home make sure my mom works more. It hurts me when I was a kid. I started helping my mom since that age and now helping my wife.

In you case, if you are a house wife it is clearly expected that you do the cleaning of the house and take care of the kids. although I still believe that your man should help you here and there. but It can not be forced as he is doing the dirty work somewhere to feed the family. You should start by asking for help, and then leave it to him when he wants to help. If you force it he want like it.

One more way of working this out is when you are in bed with him and having a good relaxing time (preferrably after sex), advise him that you want to discuss something with him and if he agrees start the discussion.. but make sure you are not complaining. just make it a discussion to know his opinion and then express your opinion.

Answer 4

I think that helping with the kids should be the responsibility for both.
Regarding the house work, if the wife does not work and only man is out doing it, then the wife that stays home should be in charge taking care of the house.
If both are out working then the all the house work should be shared between the two.
I think that is fair.

Answer 5

I think that's a wrong generalization about men! I have two children for which I drive my kids to school every morning and pick them up in the afternoon. I cook for them, do their laundry, do home work with them and take them to their tae kwon do classes on an average day. Oh yeah while their mother is trying to take me court because I don't pay her child support yet the kids live with me. Hmmmm....when will women stop thinking that all men are the same?

Answer 6

My husband has a demanding job so he doesn't do as much around the house as I would like. Our fourteen year old is just plain LAZY though, thats the one who needs to be helping me more. Definitely stop nagging though, men tune that right out and become resentful. Go a day or two without nagging, and just stop cleaning. Just act very sweet and say you just have too much to do. A nice husband will take the hint and get to work.

Answer 7

First of all, no marriage is going to be happy when all you’re doing is bitching about helping out around the house and with the kids and keeping tabs on who does what and whether or not it’s equal. “I did the dishes yesterday so you do them today.” Give me an f’ing break. Second, moms who are home all day SHOULD be keeping the house clean. You would never hear a husband whine to his wife about coming to work with him and “helping out” since you both spend the money, right? Give me a break and get a life.

Answer 8

Why not ask him why he can't help? Don't talk to him in that mommy tone, I know most of us women know which one that is. Seriously talk.

As for me, I talked and talked and got no where... Then I went on strike... Nada... THEN, I explained to him that I am drowning, I can see the life boat, and it feels like he is on top of me so he can stay afloat. I told him I felt like he was pushing me down so he wouldn't drowned. It really opened his eyes to get a visual. Now, he doesn't help as often as I like, but I only need to ask and he helps. He is also getting a little better about picking up after himself too. That helps the most, because I already am picking up after 2 small kids.

Answer 9

Some men are like kids inside. Once the work is done we just want to play. Sorry I don't have any advice.

Answer 10

I don't think there is anything you can do except regret that you did not pick a better man. His personality obviously lacks that helping mentality you seek. You should have thought this out further before you had kids and got a hosue with him. Sorry. You have to deal with the decision you make in life.