why do people stare at me or notice me so much?

Question

im 25yr old woman. im not looking beautiful and im not that ugly either. people always notice me strangers even im sitting on the bus and looking out the windows i see people notice me and from distances i actually find this very frustrating and depressing me alot because i am a very shy quiet person i am not paranoid and i dont think it. this is always the way since i was maybe 18 or 19. its very strange. isnt when you are noticing somebody its giving you a reason to want to know them, then why dont they say hello or talk

Answer 1

this happens to me all the time and i know exactly how u feel. The bottom line for my situation is i look different than most ppl around me I am half Mexican and live in an all WHITE area. So i just dont look like everyone around me. Therefore ppl appear to be staring at me. I just learned to get over it and try not to pay attention to it. If i thought about it all the time i would be upset because its just very uncomfortable.

Answer 2

I think because you are shy perhaps you are more self conscious of people looking at you but you will be able to get past the shyness by being the first to say hello to them or even just nod at them. the fact that you say you are not beautiful or ugly ignores the fact that you may be neither of those and yet striking in that you catch the eye of others for something else you show. Julia Roberts, for example, I would never consider either beautiful or ugly and yet she is striking and I would notice her in a crowd not for being an actress but because of other things, her bearing, perhaps her way of walking and so on.
there must be something that attracts their attention to you so don't worry about that but accept that you have this ability to raise the interest of others, make sure that it doesn't result in you attracting the wrong type of guy, build up your confidence in yourself by trying to become more outgoing by things such as being the first to say hello to others, and don't worry about what it is unless you want to bottle it and sell it to every other person who would love to have that ability to attract others like you do!! Good Luck to you!!

Answer 3

Hmmm... an interesting set of questions.

People of all different kinds are unusual. They do things that are not natural (like sit in cubbies or type on computers) and yet tell everyone that their life is ok. We spend so much time being involved in ourselves that interacting with others is becoming a less & less practiced skill.

So, starting with the fact that you are still relatively young, and have reasonably good looks. People like looking at other people, this is natural. Men like looking at women (especially women who are better looking rather than hideous or way overdone) and many women feel less intimidated when looking at another woman, rather than a man.

Unfortunately, in North American society, there are many taboos against paying too much attention to another person (especially one you don't know). Staring is considered rude (old, old behavioral code) and often unfriendly. With the upswing in women taking action against violence, this has lead to men being detained by police when a woman feels she is being harassed or stalked (and guys really don't like that), sometimes an honest mistake. If a woman pays too much attention to another woman, this leads to thoughts of "Is she a lesbian/bisexual and is she sizing me up??", which leads to nervousness and defensive thinking/actions.

People are afraid of the strange, the unknown, and the penalties of having to deal with a possible problem (lots of people are weird and most of us don't have time to deal with weirdness anymore...). So the only thing we can do is to avoid the problem, and not talk to people very much. However there is no penalty with looking, so that is still safe to do, so people do it. Probably a lot of the people you see looking at you would talk to you, if they had time to, or if they weren't concerned with other things or even if they felt you would like to talk to them.

Breeching the walls of our imposed isolation and safety can be a hard thing to do. If we could talk more to each other, we would probably make more friends and make the world a little less hostile...

Next time you are out, taking a notepad with out, or a micro-tape recorder and take notes on whatever interests you. A lot of times, if people could just hear your voice, this might actually encourage someone to come up and say "hi" (sort of a wild animal approach thing) or at least they might be curious enough to ask you what you are doing...

Answer 4

You can't stop people from being people. They have eyes, so they look. So smile and Say,"Hi there", they'll smile and look away. This way you can replace doubt and uneasiness, into a smile from them, and thats a nice thing to carry all day. Turn it around to benifit you instead of to annoy you. You just know how much power you have.

Answer 5

This seems to happen to me also, no matter where I am.....and even when I'm out with my fiance.

I hate that people stare...it drives me crazy. I'm not an oddity.

If people are looking because you are attractive they should just say so! Instead of making people feel awkward.

Answer 6

They are probable wondering the same thing about you . If it's someone you would like to meet, be the first to say" hello" .

Answer 7

Maybe those other people are shy too.
Why don't you take the inititave and say hello to them?

Answer 8

you may not think you're attractive but you probably are hence the reason people stare.. Just smile at them and get on with life.