My fiance's ex was in town for a weekend wedding.She stayed in a hotel, but made several visits to our home to pick up & drop off their kids.She is not welcome in our home, but pushed her way in twice & made attempts to "hook-up" with my fiance. We have custody of the kids, they see her only on weekends and they begged to stay with her in the hotel. She wouldn't let them. But she begged my fiance to come. She showed up at our house while I was at work and begged him to get back together and then to come spend the night with her.She later sent a text that said her offer still stands and gave him her room number.Of course, he said no.How do you explain such behavior & is there anything to be done about it? She rarely sees the kids and had an opportunity to have them with her, but didn't want them.
2007-10-24 04:01:44 · 26 answers · asked by Tyra99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thank you to everyone for taking the time to answer. I appreciate your input and it helps tremendously to get advice from others.
2007-10-24 04:38:10 · update #1
the woman's a fruitcake and your husband is loyal. i would just laugh and snicker at her as her life is completely pathetic. you can't change her, but you can enjoy the show!
2007-10-24 04:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Honey 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. She has become depressed being alone and she is feeling desperate like life is passing her by. She has not found anyone else to be in her life and she is unhappy that he is the first to be remarried. She would be willing to do just about anything to keep that from happening.
As for the kids, there must have been some reason that the got custody, either her neglect or not wanting them and that has not changed. It is not surprising that she would not want them with her in the hotel. Besides, she could not hope to seduce your fiance in the hotel if the children were there with her.
Best you advise your fiance to not find himself alone with her and stop her cold at the door at your home. If she tries to push in then tell her you will call the police and do it if she still pushes in. You have control over your own home.
Also, do your best to keep the chldren from knowing how low their mother will sink if you can. No reason to give them the dirty details.
Good Luck
2007-10-24 11:13:17 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her...unless you are present when she pulls that. The fact that your husband made it clear who he wants to be with should have been enough for her in the first place.
Many times people like that feed off of the anger they cause. If you were to jump at her now it would just make her push a little harder. Her intentions were clear, especially since she didn't spend any time with the kids. You just stick with your man and know that he is faithful...help raise their children...and let it roll off your back. Be the better woman.
Now if you're present and she does these things it's a whole different story. She has been told by your husband that he wasn't going to do that with her...when it's caught again I'd say show her when it's enough.
Good Luck!
2007-10-24 11:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by Tina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's not a lot YOU could or should do. If the home belongs to both you and your fiance, it has to be a joint decision that she is not welcome in it, not just yours. It's your finance's place to set the rules with her regarding visiting and calling him. Honestly, you should just back off a bit. Let your fiance know how you feel, but ultimately you have to trust him that he loves you and won't do anything to abuse that trust. Be the best role model possible for the kids, because they need someone stable in their lives.
2007-10-24 11:10:46 · answer #4 · answered by sursumcorda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have him change his cell number and not give it to her. Then, she can only call the house. If it's important, she'll leave a message, otherwise just ignore her calls completely.
I wouldn't do anything at all. She doesn't love him or the kids. She's just probably upset that they're happy & she's not. If you ignore her, she'll go away. BUT if she even thinks for a second that she got to you, her rampage will continue.
My boyfriend's ex was exactly like this - I just started ignoring her stupidity and she finally stopped.
2007-10-24 11:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Her behavior is unacceptable point blank. She doesnt want her kids which means that she may not have a care about your husband, she just wants a booty call. Does she call when she isn't in town? If she doesn't then all she wants is sex. She could be mad at the fact that her family fell apart and her husband has moved on with the kids, so now she is alone. She can't deal with it so now she wants to be a homewrecker. Not cool. Your husband is the one who needs to check that because he knows how she is and what she is capable of. So he is the one who needs to get her in order because its disrespectful to you and your relationship. She is undermining who you are in the relationship.
2007-10-24 11:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by SUCess84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
....any family know about this?
..maybe she needs a 'visit' from someone....
she seems too full of herself
does she have to pay child support...maybe she should
if she does then going after ex would eliminate that
but she is definitely unstable
'ask the kids if they ever want to see her again
She acts like Brittany spears
If those kids can prove she isn't a good mom than demand both of your presence while she visits them in your home and demand she never comes back unless all of you are present together before those kids are subjected to something you don't want them to be.
2007-10-24 11:37:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its called a restraining order, you can have a judge to put her under an order, with the conditons that she is to only drive into your driveway to pick up the children, and to return them, but outside of that the only contact would be in case of emergency involving the children, and if she does not abide by the order, she can go to jail, plus lose all contact with her children, on top of having fines to pay as well. good luck
2007-10-24 11:49:13 · answer #8 · answered by oh really 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay the cool, sweet person that you seem to be. Never do or say anything vicious in front of the kids or that can put you in jail with regards to her. Have your fiancé keep things in line by not giving into anything she wants out of the utmost respect for you.
God Bless U & Peace
2007-10-24 11:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by ♥JJ♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might be a very possessive woman, or, by now she probably has figured out that she will have a hard time financially and is fighting hard to get back what she had.
If she was a incompetent wife and a bad mother, that woman needs professional help.
2007-10-24 11:17:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry too much, he wants you.. not her. As for her, she is a disgrace to mothers out there... She had a chance to see her kids and she was trying to hook up with her ex, their date, your man. She not only disrespected you and your home, but she didn't spend the time she should have with her kids. I'm sorry, but it seems to me the courts did an excellent job. Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate and helping. I hope you have a great life together, and just remind her that not only is she not welcome at your home, that she should be there for her kids.
2007-10-24 11:09:12 · answer #11 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋