she's not living at home, she's almost 19. i've been nice and done some things for her, graduation gift, tutoring to help with school, pizza, and yet, she never has sent a thank you card, even though i know she sent one to everyone else.
i've told my husband, that i won't be doing anything else for her until she appreciates what i do. i'm just wondering has anyone else gone through this? whenever she needs/wants something she's all sweet, then "boom". no gratefulness.
FYI.... i didn't "steal" him away from her mother. they were already seperated for a couple of years. her mother had an affair on him.
2007-10-24 03:40:15 · 11 answers · asked by (!)listen 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I HAVE A CHILD, THAT HAS BEEN SENDING THANK YOU PICTURES (B4 SHE CHOULD WRITE) & TY NOTES ONCE SHE DID LEARN. IT'S JUST CALLED MANNERS. I DO IT. I GUESS WE'VE GONE OUT OF STYLE. BUT, IF SHE CAN DO IT FOR OTHER PEOPLE... BUT, I BLAME HER PARENTS MORE THAN ANYONE. I JUST WANTED TO KNOW HOW OTHERS HANDLED IT.
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME.
2007-10-24 08:04:29 · update #1
WOW, i should have reread the last edit before posting it! sorry it was all in caps and i butchered my sentences worse than normal.
2007-10-24 08:06:18 · update #2
Maybe you should all sit down and talk about this together. I have a step-daughter, she is only 9, but her mother is very good about putting things into her head. She is good about lying to her daughter to make things go in her favor. This may be happening to your step-daughter. Although she is old enough to make up her own mind...no daughter wants to think that her mother is lying to her. Maybe if everything is dealt and laid on the table before everyone then it will get settled. Then you can tell her face to face that you don't like being taken advantage of. Good luck it's hard to be a good parent, yet alone a good step parent...you are trying and that is what matters.
2007-10-24 03:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by I hang with the BIG DOGS 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have three sons and do you think as a natural parent my sons show their appreciation?? It doesn't mean the are selfish or disrespect it just shows me that my sons probably are just not emotional...Your step daughter is probalby not affectionate....It sounds like you are throbbing for her acceptance of you while you were in her life....You can't expect that from her and by not doing nothing for her would change that neither.. She 19 and I know when I was 19, I didn't say how grateful I was to my mother for alot of things....I know now at 30 that I should have but, we all grow up and realize things later on....Maybe you should have a sit down talk with her....Maybe she doesn't realize how hurt you are by this and maybe you can start all over from there....You are the adult and if you ever wanted to influence her, Now is the time to.do so...Best wishes.....
2007-10-24 11:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trouble sounds like you came in too late to be a big influence on her. She had already formulated that you were coming between her and her dad's possible chance of ever getting on even keel with the mom. She's a grown woman, even if she may not act like one yet, and I wouldn't worry too much about her responses toward you. If the time ever comes where she has to rely on you for anything, she'll pretty much come begging anyway. Then you can prove how sincere you could have been with her.
2007-10-24 10:50:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have problems too but with mine is the girl is 6 years older than i am and her mother cheated on my husband when they were together and now he thinks the girl is his he and his family and her family do not know she is not his daughter she has kids of her own so my husband thinks he's a grandfather I have his only child plus there's a boy that's not his which he thinks is and this boy was stillborn so he visits the grave. do what u want sounds like she's ungrateful
2007-10-24 12:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by stormieford 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget it. If you don't want to help her any more then don't. Yes she should have better manners but you should be more understanding too. Doesn't matter that you didn't take her father from her mother, they are not together any more, PERIOD! be a grown up and stop dwelling on the small stuff.
2007-10-24 11:03:54 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound to wrapped up with this. You are dealing with a teenager, they are notoriously ungrateful. That doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate you it just means you are now a parent and she believes she doesn't need to thank you. She's thinking you are just doing what you should be doing. Teenage girls are a handful, mine make me want to pull out the rest of my hair on a daily basis. They are lippy and can be obnoxious but its just a phase, at least that's what everyone tells me.
2007-10-24 10:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My man's daughter is the same way.
her mother didn't teach her manners, I guess...she is REAL nice when she wants something....just like her mother.......we just deal with it....a couple more years and he is done having to support her.....
2007-10-24 10:44:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
See, you`re demanding from her, that you receive respect from her for all your good deeds. She hasn`t accepted you yet. She never will if you demand from her. Respect is earned, not demanded. Give it time and try to make her your friend.Patience!!
2007-10-24 10:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when it comes to step kids i have found its better to just go with flow and try not to let small things bother you. after you mention it to your spouse just move on.
2007-10-24 10:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by slickric 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is 19 and you expect a thank you card for pizza
come on.
You are the adult here.
Grow up!
2007-10-24 11:07:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋