If your wife of 11 years suddenly will not give you any attention in the bedroom, what is the problem?

Question

she says things will get better but they have not yet.

Answer 1

There could be a number of reasons, and does not necessarily mean that your wife is having an affair with somebody else.

Your wife could be feeling depressed. If this is the case then you need to be aware that depression can lead to a low sexual drive, and may be non existent.

There could be an underlying illness. It could be hormonal. Some women going through the menopause can experience a low sex drive, and again, her sex drive may be non existent.

Your wife may be having a mid life crisis... and thus have an attack of low self-esteem and a complete lack of confidence.

Has your wife seen a doctor? Medication can help with all of the above symptoms.

If none of these apply then it is possible that your wife is having an affair. However, before you jump in at the deep end and jeopardise your married, you both need to sit down and have a good heart to heart talk. If you are still unable to resolve any issues that the two of you may have, then seek professional help from a marriage guidance counsellor.

Whatever happens, fight for your wife... surely your marriage is worth saving???

Hope everything will be alright. Blessings x

Answer 2

I recommend you have a real heart to heart with her and try to find out what is behind the change in behaviour.

Although most of the other answerers think she is having an affair, that is NOT the only option.

Women have very intricate hormone levels and it could be that her hormones have changed and she is experiencing a lower than usual libido.

It could also be that she has put on a little weight, or got a new wrinkle or some other body change that is making her feel less attractive and self-conscious.

It could also be that she is just tired after her busy day.

The point is you will never know what is really going on unless you spend some time talking to her. Try to shift the focus from you and your needs to her and be really supportive and gentle.
Once you know what the problem is then the two of you can work together to fix it adn get back on track.

I hope that helps.

Answer 3

Hiya, as a woman myself i can only answer it this way, have you always made her feel special, do you still compliment her and be a bit romantic, do you still tell her how great she looks, even if her hair is all over the place, she has her jogging bottoms on and baggy t shirt, see women are basically, really happy, if this happens, but reality is, she might be bored or feeling not her best, she could be wanting a little more from her life, and thinking she is missing it, if she say.s things will change give her a chance, you do your bit, dont push or rush her, dont suddenly change how you treat her do it gradual, but do it because you really want to, women know when its just words, without meaning, if this lady, is going through a bad time, you have to just be there for her, but if you feel, there could be another problem maybe, she is seeing someone else that is a whole new board game, then u need to decide if she is worth fighting for, or if she really wants you to try, i dont mean to be harsh, really i dont, only you know what your sensing, I do hope its just the former answer I gave you and not the latter, take care, and try not to worry, whatever happens its in the lap of the god's. very best wishes Janx

Answer 4

Talk to her. Tell her you want it sorted out. Not because you miss the sex as much as you're worried about the change in behaviour. Then ask her to see her doctor just to get everything checked out.

You know there are conditions that can contribute to loss of libido. I think you are worried so I expect you are an attentive man and thinking about her. Do these things first. If there are no health reasons why then move on to suggesting relationship counselling, so that you can get to the seat of the problem.

Activity where problems are concerned is important, and you have started that by asking others. So now Ask her and then get professional help.

Answer 5

Alto of times in relationships Terr is not enough communication . Maybe there is something that is bothering her at work or outside home. Maybe you should sit and talk to her. Let her know how you feel. Women don't want to hear you say you will fix everything you dint have to have a solution to her problem just give her a place to vent and listen without offering the Mr. Fix it routine. Once she is able to open up to you then you all will be able to move on. I went through it with a realtionship a few years back and that is always the first thing to go when someone is stressed. It may absolutely have nothing to do with you or the relationship.

Answer 6

Before you assume that it's an affair ,is she going through some emotional problems ,stress at work ,sickness, has there been some arguments between you guys? It can be so many different things. Speak to your wife 11 years is a long time you must have a great relationship to be together foe this long.

Answer 7

what's her subject?? u made one remark 4 yrs in the past, i does not' cheat on her by way of fact 2 wrongs do not make a pretty no count what some people might say. my advice only break up and circulate on so u can start to heal, by way of fact as long as your along with her that may not take place. u do not point out how previous u r, this is likewise a ingredient. If u r older i will comprehend u staying, yet while u r youthful, circulate on with existence. u ought to stay not exist. u ought to set her down and tell her what u r going to do and why, u owe it to your self. and undergo in suggestions, u gets to work out your infants so do not enable them to be the reason that united statesa., u owe it to your self for a classic existence with a loving spouse. additionally if u % 2 attempt some greater 2 make it artwork I recommend going to counseling. If she loves u she will circulate, if not there is not something there 2 shop. I desire u the main suitable and desire issues artwork out for u.

Answer 8

Has she been to a doctor? If not, why not? She needs professional help. I'm sure you've asked her questions as to why....low hormones, depression? Is she her old self outside of the bedroom?.....she needs help, have her go and get it. Waiting for time to cure her problem, could take for ever and that wouldn't be fair to either of you.

Answer 9

Simple, ask her what you can do for her in that department.
Many times its the men's performance that leaves us women feeling as if it isn't worth the effort to have sex. But we don't feel we can share this with men simply because you guys tend to become very defensive about the subject. All you guys think you are exceptional lovers...well guess what...only about 15% of you are in that catagory. In general most men are extremely selfish in the bedroom and tend to only care about getting their own.
And I know a good many of you are sitting there saying, "I care about her!" Well guess what, saying isn't enough. Actions speak louder than words.

Answer 10

Why don 't you sit down with her and find out what is bothering her ,she will understand and if she is still needing to talk to someone , it should be you , not someone else . After all , your marrige is still going strong between the 2 of you and she hasn 't thought of anyone else or you 2 would not still be together , would you ?