Can someone tell me how to live a purposeful life if you choose not to get married ?

Question

Im a single male in my early thirties and I do not want to get married or have any kids ever. I dont want the financial burden. I dont want the responsibility, and I dont want the drama. The pain out weighs the pleasure. Can a man live a purposeful life with out a wife and just a girlfriend and no kids. And if so how ?

Answer 1

Your life has whatever purpose you want it to have, whether you are married and/or have kids or not. What do you want to do with your life? Decide what that is, then do it...it's silly to assume that if one isn't in a relationship or doesn't procreate that they have no purpose. If nothing else, one's "purpose" is to live the best life they can. ☺

Answer 2

Sure he could. However, I want to advise that you will meet someone who will change your mind. I know, you don't believe me. My ex husband was one of these "types..." He was very wealthy, had accomplished much. He was dead set against it...until he met me. Certainly before he married me, he had a very productive life. He just didn't know what he'd been missing. See, you obviously have been with or have only seen the negative sort of women; they fling you right into their "Chickdom" and fill your life with drama, headaches and mindless banter. Being married has responsibility to a point but the RIGHT marriage is like second nature; there is little cause for stress. There is little concern required. It's as little responsibility-required as washing your hands. As a matter of fact, when you meet this woman I am describing, you are going to look forward to seeing her, she isn't going to venture into your personal space, you will actually WANT to be with her quite a bit! But this was not your question. YES, you can lead a very productive life. But you will remember my answer the day it hits you that you met THE ONE... Good luck and have fun until then!!

Answer 3

Sorry that something has coloured your opinion on marriage, you seem to view it as a dark dead end street. Of course , if one were to base their opinions on marriage looking from the outside in through forums like these, I can see your point. Understand that not all people have severe marriage trouble or affairs or bratty children. In these forums , it is a very small cross section of society and people who ask for help are seeking opinions on their personal state.

That said, If I chose to not marry I would consider volunteer work, a candy striper at the hospital; a scout leader, a big brother, (the latter 2 require a thorough police check) . There are a ton of charitable organizations out there looking for people just like you who can give of themselves and expect little, if anything in return; the sense of pride you feel when giving to help others is un-matched.

Hey , you never know; you might just meet someone while volunteering. One thing is for sure, if you did meet someone, you definitely would have a common interest!

Answer 4

Well, I think living a purposeful life has certain clear parameters.

To me it is the ability to love and to have compassion. It's the capacity to experience joy and spread it to others. It's the security of knowing that your life has meaning. It is a sense of connection to the creative power of the universe. It's also the ability to fulfil your goals. It's the progressive realisation of worthy goals. It's also the expansion of happiness.

When you have all that, then material success in terms of material acquisitions and comforts and luxury, follows as a by-product. But if you focus only on material success then you might achieve it, but you're also likely to get a heart attack or hypertension or fall prey to addictive behaviour and have a divorce and have a disrupted family life.

Success, like anything in life, must be holistic, it must embrace all needs, physical, emotional, in terms of relationship, uh in terms of being intellectually satisfying and ultimately in terms of the experience of our own soul and spirit.

We must ask ourselves, if I had all the time in the world and all the money in the world, what would I do. That's your dharma, that's your purpose in life. Go into meditation and ask the question and the spirit will guide you spontaneously.

Answer 5

Only you can determine your purpose. But my guess is, if you feel you can't have purpose w/out a spouse and children. Then maybe you are just meant to be a husband and/or father.
That is the way it was for me and children. I felt I didn't have a purpose because I couldn't have children. I went back to school, took different classes for things that interested me...found out I'm a pretty good artist. But it didn't fulfill that void feeling. Then I miraculously got PG, even though the odds were nil. It was my purpose...I no longer feel that void in my life. The only thing you can do is immerse yourself in other interests and see if it makes you feel purposeful.

Answer 6

you can definatly live a purposeful life. I'm a very happy,grounded, independent female in my mid forties who has tried marriage but found it's not for me and have chosen not to have children which I have never regretted. I have great friends who certainly pass no judgement on my life choices. Don't feel bad for not wanting marriage/children-it's not for everyone. Too many people fall into this commitment just to keep everyone else happy. You are being honest about what you want and genuine friends/family/partners will respect that

Answer 7

sure! you would have to let your girlfriend know in advance that you don't want to marry and you don't want kids... and you will need to expect no sex from your girlfriend if so... many don't believe in sex if you are not going to marry them... but, besides that, sure! you can have the purpose in life w/o a family... concentrate on becoming the best at your job, and do some community service, volunteer for kids' ball teams... plenty of things you can do to still be "a productive" citizin! good luck! =)

Answer 8

Sure! I think a person should be able to be perfectly happy on their own. Perhaps having another person in your life could enhance it but I don't believe that you are 'incomplete' without someone. I don't have anyone right now and am perfectly content. I might meet someone in the future I want to spend time with and that would be fine but I don't feel like I'm missing anything by not having someone right now.

Answer 9

Priests lead purposeful lives without being married. As long as you live your life the best way you can it has a purpose.

Answer 10

if purpose or purposefulness has, at any point in one's life, become something that can be modeled after, then can it really be considered descriptive or definitive to life? of course, purposefulness is always subjective, and it should be. however, to define a purposeful life within the parameters of another existing individual's accomplishments seems to be a proclamation of a static nature in life, of death, or something of the like. purpose, much like meaning, can never really be found. that is why what we define as purpose or meaning must always be in a constant state of change. the comfort one may find in modeling themselves after another individual limits the possibilities that might otherwise be had if they simply model their life on their own accord. if i were to model my life after another person, would i be myself? if that is how i am to define my life, according to another's model, then what is my life? how is it possible for that to be my own life? when can i be my own person?