My husband was (and is) alcoholic. He stop drinking now for 11 month but very often he is in bad mood instead of biing happy.Very often he is rude upset and very often he puts his bad mood on me almost every morning but later when I think I need to divorce him he calls from work apologise and he is so nice that I feel sorry for him and till everything go again I feel he sucks my blood like vampier Should I treat him like big hero that he is not drinking ore I should divorse him? Your opinion very important.I think I still love him but I don't think he loves me. We live together more than 10 years he is my second husband. We don't have children together we have property together.Sorry for my english still learning.
2007-10-24 02:56:37 · 15 answers · asked by lbelfer 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well this situation sucks. On one hand you can't leave him because he does need help. He needs someone there for him to help him through this. He depended on alcohol to make him happy, so now he needs you. Go places and keep him busy. On the other hand, its not your fault that he is this way, and his anger should not be taken out on you. You cannot be pushed around just because he "needs" a drink. The decision is a hard one, but if I were you, I would try to stick with him for a little while, and if he starts drinking again, leave him. Sit and talk with him, and let him know he cannot keep being mean to you , and then just expect an apology to fix everything. If this doesnt work, leave him. Good Luck
2007-10-24 03:02:26 · answer #1 · answered by Ray Ray 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to an ALANON meeting. This will help you to learn how to deal with your husband's new-found sobriety and the baggage that goes along with it. You could also go with your husband to any AA meeting to meet some other recovering alcoholics. This is a very transitional time for both of you, don't think divorce yet, work it out. If your husband has been sober for nearly a year, this is a very big deal, and you should definitely be proud of him for having the strength to make that step. Don't disregard your own feelings, just be a bit more sensitive to the turmoil I'm sure he's facing.
2007-10-24 03:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really decide if you still love him. Remember he is a recovering alcholic. That doesn't fix itself overnight. It will take some time. If you love him explain to him how you feel. When a person quits drinking it take time. Seems like forever. If you love him, work with him, try to be overly nice, treat him as you want him to treat you. Marrage is work, good times and bad. I know alot of recovering alcholics, they all say the same thing the first year or year and a half were awful. Now it is much better. They all say it was God and the spouse that got them through. If you are a believer pray without ceasing.
If you don't love him - leave.
2007-10-24 03:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by KTCM 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a very serious disease. Not to many marrages can make it through it. If he is doing what you say by being sober for 11 months that is so fantastic. No you don't need to treat him like a hero, but understand everyday is a fight for him not to relapse and have that one drink. It will take time, but if he continues to follow the sober path then his body will be at more tune. However the first drink he has is like starting all over again, the body will crave it as well as his mind. Good Luck Ken........Stay Married if you can....
2007-10-24 03:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by mrliteman001 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should give him credit for quitting drinking. Some people never make that progress in their addictions.
He's getting used to life without having alcohol to depend on and it's got to be hard. But he's got to learn to deal with it on his own and not dump it on you all the time. It's good that he apologizes but when will he realize he can't act out when he feels like it and then just say sorry and it's like it never happened. He must learn to not do it in the first place. You have to tell him how you feel.
I suggest counseling for him or both of you. He may have depression, which is why he drank in the first place.
2007-10-24 03:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy Sandals 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are the one that didnt want him to drink so its not fair for you to divorce him over the conciquences! either let him start drinking agian (not recommended!) or try to work through it, it sounds like he is really trying! ppl dont change in a matter of days! just work with him. for better or for worse right? this is just a bit of the worse. eventually you will get to the better. also one of the things that helped my hubby was non-alcoholic beer! there are many different kinds and my hubby says it tastes pretty much the same and subconciously he still relaxes and stuff give it a shot. good luck!
2007-10-24 03:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have stopped physically drinking, but hes still an alcoholic. You need to go to either talk with a marriage councelor or go to Al-Anon meetings. Your behavior could be enabling him to act like this.
Quitting drinking is the reason hes in a crappy mood all the time, it is very difficult.
2007-10-24 03:01:25 · answer #7 · answered by Freakalicious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love and support your husband through his efforts to give up his addiction to alcohol. Whenever he feels in a bad mood do not react by arguing back and being on the defencive, just go up to him and say, "honey I think I need a hug from you today", then let it go. Repeat this every time and see what happens.
2007-10-24 03:10:35 · answer #8 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Struggling with not drinking is very hard and a life time commitment and this could be withdrawls and you may just have to ignore him, till he comes around... encouraging words are good but its a one day at time, and you will go through a lot of ups and downs but if you dont think you can handle it then maybe seek advice from a professional...
2007-10-24 03:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried discussing how you feel with him.
If not, perhaps bring up your feelings when he is in a good mood.
Maybe sit down and write him a letter about how you feel.
If this can't be done, perhaps some time apart will get him to see the way he is treating you.
I would try working things out, even if it involves counseling, before divorcing.
Good luck to you!
2007-10-24 03:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Ada D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋