Is encouragement of women who want to become single mothers by choice contributing to social problems?

Question

Denise Sloan decided she wanted to have kids, even though she was single, so she researched the safe way to get the job done and wrote a book about it called "Knock Yourself Up--The Tell-All Guide to Becoming a Single Mom". She wrote about over 40 other single women who did the same thing:
http://www.knockyourselfup.com/Home.html

Obviously there is a market for a book like this.

I have three questions:

1- The statistics overwhelmingly indicate that children from single parent families have a higher likelihood of turning out maladjusted. 70% of felons are from single parent families. Why do some people insist it justifies single parent families if a minority of 30% of felons are from families with both parents?

2- Is this book and the approval it gets from feminists more evidence that women's attitudes that they don't need men to raise children is the main cause of single mothers?

3- Would men saying women are not needed to raise children be considered male supremacist?

4 out of 10 children born out of wedlock:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15835429/

(6 out of 10 born in marriage, 50% divorce rate, making divorce 3 out of 10 children. Not the main cause of single parent families).

Statistics on higher risks of maladjustment for children from single parent families:
http://www.civitas.org.uk/pubs/experiments.php

Nobody can provide me with any statistics indicating that these maladjusted children came from single mother living in poverty. Neither can they provide me with any actual evidence that these single mothers that have jobs will not end up subjecting their children to this same maladjustment.

More importantly there are no statistics which indicate women becoming single mothers by choice are financially well off.

In fact, the statistics indicate otherwise.

Answer 1

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes --U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes --Center for Disease Control

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes --Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
--National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools

70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes --U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report Sept., 1988

85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home --Fulton County Georgia jail populations & Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992

Translated, this means that children from a fatherless home are:

* 5 times more likely to commit suicide
* 32 times more likely to run away
* 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
* 14 times more likely to commit rape
* 9 times more likely to drop out of school
* 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
* 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
* 20 times more likely to end up in prison

"In 1988, a study of preschool children admitted to New Orleans hospitals as psychiatric patients over a 34-month period found that nearly 80 percent came from fatherless homes." Source: Jack Block, et al. "Parental Functioning and the Home Environment in Families of Divorce", Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 27 (1988)

"Children living with a never-married mother are more likely to have been treated for emotional problems." Source: L. Remez, "Children Who Don't Live with Both Parents Face Behavioral Problems," Family Planning Perspectives (January/February 1992).

Children reared by a divorced or never-married mother are less cooperative and score lower on tests of intelligence than children reared in intact families. Statistical analysis of the behavior and intelligence of these children revealed "significant detrimental effects " of living in a female-headed household. Growing up in a female-headed household remained a statistical predictor of behavior problems

***even after adjusting for differences in family income***.

Source: Greg L. Duncan, Jeanne Brooks-Gunn and Pamela Kato Klebanov, "Economic Deprivation and Early Childhood Development", Child Development 65 (1994).


Considering that many women see children as a "clump of cells", it is not amazing that they care so little for the children they allow, or even plan, to bring into a situation that is all but guaranteed to be a disaster.

It seems that nothing trumps women having "choice", even when that choice is so obviously a bad one.

Answer 2

Being pro-choice, and believing that a woman has control over her decision to remain pregnant, I would be a hypocrite if I did not also say that she has control over her reproductive abilities. That is a medical and basic rights answer.

But I am also a pragmatist, and socially, I am a little critical of the whole idea. And not for the statistical reasons you state, as I believe that if a parent (mother or father) is a good one, with the right support structure, they can raise great children. But I am interested in the financial construct of the situation. Clearly, if a woman can afford the overwhelmingly high cost of having a child, then she must have a great job. And if thats the case, what hours does she work? Who is going to be raising that child?

In my twenties, I had decided that if I wasn't married by 35, I wanted to have a child on my own. Well, 35 arrived, and I realized that I didn't have the money or the emotional ability to raise a child on my own. As much as I would have loved a child at that time, I truly felt that it would have been an irresponsible and selfish decision for me to make. Yes, I have the right to have a child biologically, but do I have the moral and responsible right to have one if I can't give them everything they need in terms of time and commitment?

Answer 3

1.) I think you would have to control for the TYPES of single parent families that these felon-to-be children came from. Ms. Sloan sounds fairly educated, possibly from a higher socio-economic background, and possibly a bit older (and wiser) than your average Joe, etc. That's a vastly different demographic than some 17 year old left destitute by her boyfriend, or poor woman in the ghetto raising five kids on her own. Their outcomes (ie: children) might be a bit different than Ms. Sloan's. Not to mention that children from broken homes may be dealing with a lot of anger (from seeing the break up, from each of the parents, etc.) and that could also contribute to their maladjustment. This would not be a factor in Ms. Sloan's (and others like her) case.

2.) I won't pretend to know what drives any of society's trends. However, I think the fact that many marriages do dissolve these days, and a fair number of women who are left to raise the children alone do so successfully, just show that simply, a woman will do what a woman's gotta do. Perhaps there is some misrepresentation as to how HARD it is to do it alone, but the reality is, many woman ARE. The main cause: divorce, not this book or any feminist approval.

3.) Interestingly enough, this is one realm I don't think men are overwhelmingly inspired to trump. Would they be male supremicists if they claimed women to be unnecessary in child rearing? No, no more than we are women supremicists for claiming we can rear a child on our own.

The fact is, either can do it with due diligence. The trick is to make sure that you enter into this arrangement fully aware of what you are doing. But again, given today's marriage stats, perhaps every person should ask themselves this (Can I do this alone?) before ever partaking in parenthood. Stats say, you very well could be.

Answer 4

Writing a book is easy to digest .The statistics given are to sell the book.Single mom is a problem in a society.You are true enough about women's attitude but it's not always true genuine reasons are persisting for malfunctioning in a family causing divorce leading to single mom.Men cannot say women are every time their better half in up bringing of a child.After all we men and women are responsible for bringing the siblings in this world and provide a better future.

Answer 5

I wouldn't think so because look,if a woman waits all her lifefor her prince charming in order to become a mother we will have a long wait, because there isn't a lot of eligible men ou there who are willing to work and be faithful. Straight up! I believe that if a single woman chooses to be a mother without a man that she can take care of her child by herself, she is usually educated and has a good job. Being a mother is really important to a lot of women, but some women aren't willing to wait to see if they will meet the man in shining armor and I feel like that is okay!

To answer your first question, it kind of erases your first question. Because women that usually will choose to have a child aren't poor. Women that are poor usually get pregnant on accident, they don't plan for their children and that's why they suffer so much from it.

The second question is that not all women need a man to raise their children, and some men that are no help at all to the women that have the kids, they are just there for financial means.

The 3rd question is absurd. There are men out there who are single and they don't need a woman, and vice versa, that doesn't mean that is male or female supremacisy!

Some people can raise their children on their own!

Answer 6

The cause is not single motherhood but poverty. Women who want to become single mothers on purpose probably have the financial means to do so.

And no. Feminism is not the reason for single motherhood. A lack of knowledge and use of birth control causes single motherhood.

I don't think that women are always needed to raise children either. A good man with the time and resources to raise a child could do just as good a job.

Answer 7

I think your going out on a limb here. I know many single moms and they are intelligent hard working woman. They raise good kids and have high standards and morals, which they teach their kids. Many work two jobs and still find time to join the PTA and attend all the important functions for their kids. I also know many affluent, married couples who are raising, rude, lazy and spoiled kids. Who are more likely to commit a crime to get money for drugs, and don't know what a job is. It is never all black or white. I
would never make that kind of judgement based on a book. I don't think your stats are correct and I don't know where you got them from. Some two parent households are not doing so hot either. So the problem goes much deeper than single mothers.

Answer 8

I have always been curious as to what a single mother - who has gone out of her way to ensure that she will be a single parent tells her child as to why daddy isnt there, and why she has refused the child the posibility of of having two parents there for them.

Answer 9

I would say 70% of the felons from single parent families are also male and also poor.


And about raising children, you need a strong community, not just two parents, one parent, etc. A Child ain't a pet, it is another individual.

Answer 10

People will do anything to make money - this woman does not give a flip about "helping single moms."

I think anyone who is actually bringing NEW children into this world nowadays is an idiot. There are SO many poor children who are in DESPERATE need of caring moms, but instead of adopting them someone would create a whole new child to bring into this overcrowded troubled world? What sense does that make? NONE.