have you had negetive views on CHOOSING to breastfeed?

Question

I seem to find a lot of conflict against mothers who decide not to breastfeed, but I was made to feel I was doing the wrong thing by breastfeeding by my fiance's mother who bottlefed had had this amazing routine. I was critsized with my 1st son and when I was pregnant with my second she even said that she didnt think I would make the same mistake again meaning I wouldnt breastfeed!!! obviously I have, he is now 11 mths and still going. Also she had problems with me not adding salt to baby food and not giving them sugary tea to drink! has anyone else encountered any anti breastfeeding reletives etc???

Answer 1

No one saying I was wrong to breastfeed like your MIL (scary!) but certainly those who thought 'What's the point'. Or wondering when I was ever going to stop (this was when my daughter was 9mths old, we aren't talking 4yrs old like they made it out to be).... Every thing you've pointed out seems common sense things not to do (salt on food, sugary tea, formula by choice). Someone made a really good point on here about why there are people who do things like your MIL is doing to you - it's because they are attempting to validate their own (likely incorrect in hindsight) parenting. She likely gave her son formula, sugary tea, and added salt. To see you doing differently might make her question her own choices, and that isn't something she'd likely take to. Sounds like you are doing all the right things, and hopefully your fiance is likeminded and supports you (even if that means he isnt siding with his mother).

Answer 2

I had a woman tell me (when my daughter was 3 1/2 months) that I was breastfeeding her "for me." She also berated me for not having given her solids yet at that point, and once we did start solids, for making home made foods instead of feeding her jarred baby food. My aunt was also shocked at how often she nurses and told me she's eating too much. Really? She knows better than my daughter does if she's hungry or not? Almost all of our family keeps telling me we should just let her cry it out to teach her to sleep in her room instead of in bed with us. If she wakes up alone, she is absolutely terrified - why would I leave her in a room by herself KNOWING that she's scared?? She's also refused a bottle since she was 4 days old. Everyone sees these as problems (nursing often, co-sleeping, not taking a bottle) that need to be solved, instead of just accepting it as the way we are raising our daughter. It's so frustrating, and I still haven't found a way to respond without becoming defensive.

Just keep doing what you're doing, but know that you're not alone!

Answer 3

have you tried asking your mother-in-law why she is so against your breastfeeding? for all we know, she probably had some negative experience or unresolved issues on breastfeeding which made her feel that way. maintaining an open and honest-to-goodness communication with your in-laws will surely be helpful when there are conflicting issues especially when it concerns our children (although this can be really hard on our part!). anyway, i have listed down some of the advantages and disadvantages of breastfeeding for your reference.

The nutritional advantages of breast milk are certainly numerous. The amino acids in breast milk, the building blocks of proteins, are well balanced for the human baby, as are the sugars (primarily lactose) and fats. The baby's intestinal tract is best aided in its digestion by the vitamins, enzymes, and minerals found in breast milk. Breast milk also contains infection-fighting antibodies from the mother, and breast-fed babies are believed to be at a reduced risk for many acute and chronic infections early in life. The cholesterol content is also high in human milk and very low in formulas. Cholesterol promotes brain growth and provides the building blocks of hormones, vitamin D, and intestinal bile.

Breast milk is also the least expensive way to feed an infant. However, the mother must maintain good nutrition and continue taking any vitamin/mineral supplements her doctor recommended during the pregnancy.

Formula-fed babies also have the risk of developing an allergy to a particular formula. When a baby develops an allergy to formula, he or she may have symptoms that include irritability, crying after feedings, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or a skin rash.

Nursing helps most women lose weight (though not fluid) after delivery, as 500 calories or more are used by breastfeeding each day.

There is a well-accepted extra closeness that breastfeeding mothers experience that is both hormonal and emotional in nature.

The only disadvantages for the baby in breastfeeding occur when things are not going well, for example, if there's an inadequate supply of breast milk or an inefficient suck reflex in the baby. However, it is unusual for a mother not to produce enough milk for her baby unless she is not breastfeeding correctly or frequently enough. The disadvantages that most commonly arise involve the rest of the family. Siblings and dad often feel "left out" of baby care since mom is the only one who can do the nursing. However, other family members can be involved in helping with different aspects of the baby's care, and this gives them a valuable feeling of importance and allows mom a chance to rest.

Breast-fed babies eat more often than formula-fed babies since breast milk is more quickly digested and leaves the stomach empty more frequently. This puts a little more stress on the mother because of the potential necessity for more frequent feedings. If the mother develops certain medical conditions, whether or not to continue breastfeeding may need to be reassessed. These conditions should always be discussed with the doctor. However, it is rare that breastfeeding would need to be discontinued completely. In any interaction, the mother's doctor and/or pharmacist should be informed that she is breastfeeding. Some medicines should be avoided during breastfeeding. Numerous other medications have not yet been adequately studied in the context of breastfeeding and the possible effects on the baby. If a breastfeeding mother is required to take a medication which has not been fully studied, she may want to consider discussing this matter with her doctor.

I hope i was able to help one way or another. just keep in mind that in-laws (or most of them) have nothing in mind but the welfare of their children and grandchildren. respect her views but continue doing what you believe is the best for your children. remember, you are the MOTHER! goodluck!

Answer 4

Their is no way to regulate who breast feeds and who formula feeds. WIC (at least the one I used to work for) does its best to promote breastfeeding. Many WIC offices have mandatory classes that the participants must attend before they receive vouchers, of those classes if a women is pregnant she is usually put in a breastfeeding class that prepares and talks about the benefits of breastfeeding. Many women who attend the classes either have a preconceived notion about breastfeeding or they are not sure. Some women do change their minds after watching the videos and talking to other WIC mothers who have breastfed. (Again, this was the case at the office I worked at, I am aware that some offices simply hand out vouchers and do not have class) Their are so many different situations where formula feeding may be necessary.Here are some situations that I saw: If a mother is breastfeeding but suddenly becomes ill and is hospitalized she may need to supplement with formula. If a mother is working and especially if she is working at a fast food chain where their are no pump rooms available she may need to give formula. If a mother gives birth to an infant who has a cleft palate or downs syndrome she may have a harder time nursing and become frustrated and decide to formula feed. If a mother has a premature infant who has gross motor delays she may need to supplement with formula. If a mother tries to breastfeed and at the hospital she has no support and her baby is given a bottle, she may have a difficult time putting her baby back to the breast. If a mother has no family support to breastfeed she may not see the value in breastfeeding. Not to mention the many foster infants that I saw, that need formula. These are just some of the scenarios that I dealt with as a nutritionist for the WIC program. The WIC program provides food and enhanced packages for mothers who exclusively breastfeed as well as food for children up to the age of 5 and postpartum mothers. WIC provides breast pumps for mothers who qualify and promote nutrition and wellness through referral programs, classes and nutritional counseling. I will just end to say that I tried my best to help women make the best decision for their families.

Answer 5

I feel some people who couldn't breastfeed or decided not to get abit jealous because you can and want to . Sounds a bit funny but not mention any names I got the same thing and that is the conclusion I came too. I would even get coments whilst I was feeding, If the baby moved slightly, she would say Oh your milk is no good. But I persisted and me and my kids are happy so that is all that matters.

Answer 6

I remember all kinds of negative opinions from older in-laws about everything I did with my baby--and I ignored them all.

I breastfed, didn't use babyfood at all, added no salt, sugar or other fillers, and grew all my own vegetables as per my own family traditions. And guess what? My extended family was, in general, a LOT more healthy than my husband's family

Continue ignoring your outdated relatives. My daughter is 26 years old now, an Ivy League graduate, perfectly healthy and a medical student.

Answer 7

My mother in law was the same way. She thought breastfeeding was stupid and gross. She also didn't want me breastfeeding because she thought she would be able to just pick up my baby when ever she felt like it. Even wanted them spending the night with her at 6 weeks old. Yeah right! She was constantly saying did you wean that kid of your boob yet. It drove me crazy with my first that was breast fed 18 months, with my twins I just ignored her comments(they breast fed 13 and 15 months), and with my youngest I finally stood up to her in the hospital after delivering my youngest. She is breast feeding still at 21 months. Although she is close to weaning on her own and only nurses a few times a week. I wish I would have stood up to her sooner.
All my other family members on both sides of the family were very supportive of my choice to breast feed.

Answer 8

My sister and mother both thought I shouldn't breastfeed-too much of a hassle according to them. I continued to do it until I was ready to stop, not because they didn't think I should. Everybody (especially relatives) love to give advice on babies, but do what you are comfortable with. And why would you add salt to baby food???

Answer 9

No but if it helps you are doing the best thing for your baby so should just ignore her (this can be hard though i understand) i couldnt breastfeed due to an illness then by the time i could only express 1oz so my baby was always hungry! i had no choice but to bottle feed! So you can imagine i have had a lot of criticsm!

Answer 10

No, my mom breatfed all seven of us! My mother in law tried but failed. She doesn't really understand why I do certain things (like why I'm stil nursing my 11 month old baby, or why I don't give my kids candy if I can avoid it), but she's supportive of whatever we decide.

I think it is important to be confident about your choices. Don't argue about your choice with your mom, just tell her that these are your children and your doing what you think is best for them, just like she did for you. Try to let her know that you appercite her concern but want to do your own thing.