married to the one he got pregnant 20 years ago,that's why he married her?
2007-10-23 21:56:34 · 22 answers · asked by dee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him that he chose her for the circumstances and you aren't choosing him for his. Have a nice life. Conversation between 2 married people will go nowhere.
2007-10-23 22:01:05 · answer #1 · answered by moninicole 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Leave the past in the past, that is where it should be, live in the hear and now, and do not look back look forward, and love the one you are with, she is the reason why you broke up 20 years ago, and it is not going to be the same today, as it was 20 years ago, remember that!
Your life has changed and so has his, he has a child, so leave him alone and let him be a parent and a husband, do not follow this, or else his child, will suffer!!!!!
His child needs HIS daddy and HIS mommie now, not you!
2007-10-24 06:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself how many other lovers this man has had over the years, just because he has looked you up doesn't mean he cares. If he is still married then he has a wife therefor he is looking for a lover not commitment, if he hasn't left his wife yet then he doesn't intend too, are you willing to share this man, with her and any other lovers he has. if he has cheated before he will again. How did it make you feel when he passed you up for her?? could you go through that again. At the end of the day you should go forward not back.
2007-10-24 05:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by stumpydon 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know it's hard, but you say, "Hey, you're married. And you have a child (if not more)."
I realize that people marry for the wrong reasons (and yes, marrying just for pregnancy IS wrong; this guy case in point), and I do not believe people should stay in a marriage that has no hope after giving it all they have to try. However, he has an obligation to end that FIRST before he messes around with anyone else. To do otherwise bespeaks of a man who at the very best, STILL has some growing up to do/facing responsibility. At worst, he has no sense of decency, and really, do you want to get tangled up in that?
2007-10-24 05:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
"comes looking for you?" What prompted him to "see" you or "call" you? He obviously started his life on a slippery slope and made decision to marry twenty years ago--leaving you to have "memories". If he is still married as you indicate then 20 years of something "right" had to exist. If he and his wife are without their child "after 20 years" and are not happy then a divorce is evident. all the excuses in the world from him to contact you while he is married are "ploys to get you in bed", to relive old time memories. Don't suggest a divorce to him etc. and if you are interested tell him you are willing to wait twenty years for him--AFTER--he gets his life in order. Don't befriend "his wife" of the past. Not a good move, one you will regret for the rest of your life. good luck
2007-10-24 05:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
So what's the problem with that? Are you not pleased to see your ex after 20 years? Maybe he's excited and just wanna see you just for the old time's sake. And at the same time say .... sorry for what had happened? You were both young and crazy thing stuff like that ?????
Let by gone ... be by gone, okey??
Act professionally.
But....be sure ... you still look beautiful before meeting him. hehe
2007-10-24 05:19:27 · answer #6 · answered by always confuse 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well I guess 20 yrs is a long time an wouldnt be much to say it would be like talking as a friend i imagine cos most people get on with there lives also an he seems to have an so have you so it will be uncomfy only if you let it be just be yourself an let it over an treat him like a friend...
2007-10-24 05:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet_mystery 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Looks like contraceptives are not only meant to avoid children, but marriages as well 'LOL'
2007-10-24 05:06:15 · answer #8 · answered by sash 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"Come back when you're divorced." That should set the boundary, nice and clearly.
2007-10-24 05:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be polite towards him, but i would try to avoid him as to not evoke memories..
2007-10-24 05:01:01 · answer #10 · answered by Julia T 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋