What do you think of my story?

Question

If I were a Hitman
Three weeks of tracking Azamat had led me to a town called Kamuriti – A small town 100km southeast of the Saudi Arabian border. I was hot, sun burnt and exhausted and
a grin crept across my face as I finally had him in my sights. The bright green lazar of my AR-15 colt was hovering slightly below the pulmonary artery of Azamats heart. It would only take a little squeeze of the trigger and his life would be over as quick as the bullet of an AR-15 could travel.
All my training and experience as a professional hitman had prepared me for this moment. I was no longer doing it just for the “money”, it was more then that, it was payback for all the hell I had endured while trying to tack down the son of a b****.
I held my breath as I prepared myself to take the shot.
My finger tightened around the trigger, I would keep squeezing until I heard the faint “click” that the trigger would make before the gun recoiled from the force of a bullet being propelled to 900m/s.

Just as the trigger reached the point were the “click” sound was supposed to occur, a deep voice transmitted through the walkie-talkie that was clipped onto my back pocket and predictably threw me off target.
“George, abort mission now!” john said through the walkie-talkie.
“What!” I replied angrily.
“I said abort mission, we need Azamat alive. You will still get the $20,000 that we promised you, as long as you haven’t killed him”.
“What, what happened? I have him in my sights right now. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill him. I’ve been tracking this slippery maggot for 3 weeks and when I get close enough to bag him, you tell me that I’m not supposed to kill him!” I snapped in rage as the veins on my temple bulged.
“I can’t tell you why we need him alive, that’s classified information. But what I can tell you is that if you don’t walk away right now, you won’t get your $20,000 and we’ll make sure that we let the police know what you’ve been up to.

“Dammit! This is the last time I ever work with the US government again.” I sighed as I saw Azamat loading up a four-wheel drive with white boxes and driving off.
“Yeh well, that’s not an option, we need you for another mission. I’ll have a black hawk pick you up at approximately 0100 hours, where are you?”
“I’m 100km southeast of the border in a town called Kamuriti, but I’m still not going to work for you guys.”
“Yeh, well, just make sure you light a flare or smoke so we can see you from up above”.
“Roger that” I sighed in exhaustion as I flopped back onto the hard ground I was sitting on.

to be continued..

Answer 1

Not bad, but use spell-check.

Don't know if you've ever fired an AR-15, but I have and it doesn't have much recoil unless you fire it (M-16) full auto.

It is also not a particularly effective sniper rifle. You might want to substitute an M-14, the rifle of choice for American Marine and Army snipers.

The story has possibilities. Keep working on it.

Answer 2

Fair

Answer 3

Very Nice, I mean Good!