i'm 20, my bf has no job yet, but he is responsible person. I'm living with my mom. My 1 brother has 2 baby and did not yet marry. my other broher's wife is pregnant too but married last year.. They both have no work-also their wife.. they are still finding.. my mom is a Christian and teaching the word of God and we, her children (4) grew in the love of God but I don't know what happened to us.. I still believe that in every person, comes disapointment.. now, my mom is very depressed because of my brothers and i don't like to add in my mom's burden.. My mom dreams for me is to have job, marry before having a baby.. i felt guilty that I ruin her dreams and I don't like too to destroy her reputation.. many people respects her a lot for advising and teaching the word of God.. What will I do now? Will i marry my BF now that I'm pregnant or marry him after I will gave birth? How about abortion? no one knows yet that I'm pregnant for 1 month except my BF..help me out.. advice me..pls..
2007-10-23 20:25:30 · 11 answers · asked by cute 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
..-- i'm from Philippines.. no permanent job yet..
2007-10-23 20:49:37 · update #1
Wow, this is just an opinionated answer. As for my sister got pregnant our of wedlock and married just because she was pregnant and is now divorced. So my advice to that is don't get married just because you are pregnant. As for you mom, it is disappointing because she never thought she would see her children this way BUT this is your life, and you should never make decisions for your life on someone elses behalf! And, abortion would never be an option for me, and I don't think in a religious family it would be either. Please take a lot of time to explore your options, as you have so many! Good luck!
2007-10-23 20:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by Brittney 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married because you are pregnant. That's rarely ever a good idea. You can't live your mom's dreams. You're an adult and you need to have your own life. Could that be a life with a child? That's really up to you. Explore your options. Visit http://www.plannedparenthood.org for information about pregnancy, prenatal care, adoption, birth and abortion. You may want to talk to a counsellor there as well. Do not go to an emergency pregnancy centre or anything like that. These places are full of anti-choice fools who hate women. Even if you are choosing to have this baby, you don't need to deal with their crap. Personally, when I got pregnant with my partners child, I decided on an abortion. I'm not trying to sway you that way, just countering some of the crap out there. I do not live everyday in guilt because I know it was the right thing to do. Look at your situation and trust your reason and your instincts. Good luck!
2007-10-23 20:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would be easier to answer you if I knew where you were from. If you and your boyfriend were going to get married then you can do that. I would not marry him just because of the baby. Everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect. Do not feel guilty. Things happen and we just pick up an go on. The thing is to learn from them. Destroy her reputation? It is not the end of the world. People should not judge you. That is not very christian is it? Don't worry what other people think. People only know what you tell them. I would have your boyfriend keep trying to find a job. You might want one too until you get closer to having the baby. Have you thought about adoption? Good luck to you honey.
2007-10-23 20:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The last thing you need to do is live your life for someone else... every parent has dreams for their kids.... that doesn't mean they are your dreams nor are you obligated to fulfill you moms dreams.... you have to do what is right for you.... if you are not sure about having a baby then you probably aren't ready to have one and it could ruin your life .... on the other hand if you are really ready to be a mother then have the baby.... it is never a good idea to get married just because you are pregnant... it has been the demise of many marriages.... getting married before both parties are really ready to..... Bottom line is think it through and do what you feel is really what YOU want to do.... you are the one that has to live with any decision you make.
2007-10-23 20:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well firstly,
Do not feel ashamed. If your mother is truly a women of God then she will understand forgiveness. And im sure she will love you as her daughter no matter what. There are options. But it has to come from you. Do you want this child? Do you think you will be able to bring it into a stable, nurchuring world?
You have to think of the best option for you and for the child. Don't let shame alter this. Because in the end you can't spend your life worrying about the thought's of others or you will never be happy.
2007-10-23 20:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ABORTION CAN NEVER BE AN OPTION.
you'll forever be hunted by guilt if you kill a person- more importantly, if it's your child.
go test yourself first. it can be false alarm coz you say it's only one month for now.
everyone of us failed in some point of our lives, actually everyboy fails, and had caused disappointments and pains to the family and friends and persons that we love. the more important thing is how will you be able to be turn the odds. it's the number of times that you were able to get up, an pull yourself together that will matter in the end.
you see, everything happens for a reason, and in each and every one of us has a role to play in this world and in other people's lives. your child is God's blessing. maybe He sent you that chil for you to know what "sacrifice" is, what "unconditional love" is, for you to be able to appreciate your life more.
that chil can put back meaning in your life. can lead you on where you're destined to be. problems will always be a part of our lives- and these problems, ALWAYS ALWAYS has solutions. you just have to find out for your self what it is an how to go about it. i suggest that if you're not ready for marriage or it seems he's not the right guy, on't go for it. you will just be creating another problem. but if you're fortunate that your bf loves you an is willing to take the responsibility, well and good. he might start looking for job as early as now.
after each trial, we become a stronger person- a better person. keep the child and face the consequences that goes with your actions. God bless!
2007-10-23 20:39:19 · answer #6 · answered by kazak 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please do not abort the baby whatever you do.
That said, I am not going to pretend to know how you are going to approach your mom about this, but again though I will say it, do not get an abortion whatever you do.
I am a Christian as well and firmly believe God speaks [indirectly of course] against (embryonic) stem cell research, abortion in any form (partial birth or "unborn" abortion), cloning, etc.
Your mom will be very sad about discovering your baby, but she will would be even more disappointed if she learned you not only had a baby outside of wedlock but also aborted him.
I'm not going to give you advice on whether you should marry your boyfriend or not because I do not know how well you love him or vice versa or if he is religious at all.
God has a plan for everyone, that includes people born through pre-marital sex, and rape, and yes, even people that are cloned!
(Though I am against cloning, there are not one but TWO sins involved with cloning in order to extract embryonic stem cells: one is the cloning in and of itself, and the second is the destroying of the human life form in the blastocyst stage of development)
2007-10-25 12:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by Xan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am Pro-Choice and I believe a woman should have the right to carry or terminate a pregnancy if she desires. It is her body and her vagina. This is a decision that is going to be up to you and your boyfriend. I can tell you that it is a big decision and one that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Either way you go. I can tell you for certain that it is very hard to walk in that clinic, take a Valium and let them terminate your pregnancy. But at the time I felt like it was my only choice and it was the right decision for me at that time. If you choose to have the baby, you know all the responsibilities that come with it. Think about it and you and your boyfriend come up with the best option for you whether it is abortion, adoption, or having a baby. THE CHOICE is yours in the end
2007-10-23 20:50:30 · answer #8 · answered by rene1695 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like your whole family doesn't have work because they didn't finish education. It's hard to say and I don't want to tell you want to do. You should talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he comes up with. Maybe even tell your mom about it.
2007-10-23 20:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by Beautiful Glory 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is totally your decision...but i would say adoption. Many couples would give an arm and a leg to have a child, and you can see them one day perhaps.
2007-10-23 20:30:55 · answer #10 · answered by kf 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋