My husband and i have been together for almost two years, and recently he expressed to me that he did not love me at all. he said he hadn't loved me for a long time. i just dont understand how you could tell someone you love and dont mean it. thats hurts so much more than to just not say it at all.
2007-10-23 19:31:20 · 12 answers · asked by Kristen S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kristen,
I'm sure he loved you when he said he did.
He must be upset and can't remember the feelings he had when he said he loved you. It happens to all of us, when things are good, we "delete" the bad in the past and when things are not nice we forget it used to be good in the past.
Think of yourself. it doesn't matter what he said in the past or what he said about the past. the only thing that matters is what you do with it. NOW!
Do the thing that is best for YOU, You are important. It hurts to hear things like that and it is not sensitive to say things like that. Forget about what he said in the past. look forward.
ask yourself what do you want to do to go back to the love you had at the beginning of your relationship, I'm sure you can find something there.
Stay strong and remember that all obstacles are stepping stones and they'll make you stronger.
Ronit
http://www.behappyinlife.com/relationshipcoaching.php
2007-10-23 20:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may have thought he loved you once but maybe it was only fascination. Men have a problem of thinking below the belt and mistake enjoyable sex for love. A man will say anything to get into your pants anyway. All the words you want to hear they will say. There are some men in this world that do use the words love right or they do not say the word at all. Your man found it easy to say to get what he wanted and maybe he really does not even know what real love is in the first place. He also could be trying to hurt you! Have you thought of that? Maybe he does care and is hurting you in a way that he knows he can.
2007-10-23 19:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by craft painter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word love is tossed around these days more than a Frisbee.... i think in today's society that love means something totally different that it did years ago and is taken less seriously.... I'm sure that he would tell you that he loved you for 2 reasons.... the first is because he knew that is what you wanted to hear and the second is probably out of habit..... i know this doesn't probably make you feel any better but I'm sure that it is the reality of the situation.
2007-10-23 19:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by DavidV 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Falling out of love is usually a much slower process than falling into love. So in the early stages you don't even notice. Later, you dismiss it, convincing yourself that you're just angry, or in a bad mood. Eventually you just continue out of habit. But finally there comes a moment where you realize what you feel, and then it usually gets ugly.
I'm sorry you ended up on the receiving end of this process, it's not fun. It might not be too late to salvage the relationship, but it will take a lot of work.
Good luck.
2007-10-23 20:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men who lie when they say they love you when they do not want a wife and someone to sleep with at night and they think they have to say that in order to get those things.
There are many who do say that and mean it but you don't see them that much because they are home with their wives being happy. There are still single men out there who will tell you that and mean it but you have to divorce this guy in order to find them and then take your time looking for the right one the next time.
If you go to handwriting wizard in your search engine you will find a way to tell how honest a person is by the way they write and that will save you a lot of heartache next time This is over 80 % accurate - your husband's handwriting is probably slanted straight up and down and he puts a knot in the top of the letter O, for example.
get a divorce and look for happiness with someone who is looking for happiness with someone like you.
Good Luck!!
2007-10-23 19:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather have him say "dear, you suck. Can you bake me some brownies?"
But on a more serious note, it's difficult to keep the love alive in a relationship, but not impossible. Love is NOT something you have, it's something you do. And if you stop doing it, it dies. However, if it dies, you can bring it back, as long as you're willing to work together. That means him giving you what you need, and you giving him what he needs.
What does he need that he's not getting?
2007-10-23 19:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm....yeah. I´m a guy who´s thinking about marrying and at some-point that "love" word is loosing it´s meaning when:
couple takes things for granted
couple starts loosing communication and "love you" it´s just a closing sentence.
and a long etc....
so to answer straight , I only say " i love you" when my heart skips a beat for my g/f...
and she only cryes (to show her feelings) only when they come from the heart....
As long as that doesn´t happen I only say "baby I love to look after you" or "I care for you".....just to save the "I love you word" for the highest ocations (a night out, a trip, etc...)
So you women, also, say and do things from the lips out...sometimes keep a lot of secrets from the heart in.
Don´t pin point at a male counterpart problem. when in marriage, problems come from only from 2 persons....
Try to speak things out...maybe you can find a solution and start making the word "I love you" back with a full meaning.
2007-10-23 20:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by Taurok 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See my friend what i feel is that your husband has taken you very casually and has given no respect to the love world. He think that life is very easy and wife is someone who is with me and just dont care anything about ur feelings. Your husband is ur husband but not ur lover. This is the bottom line.
2007-10-23 19:41:28 · answer #8 · answered by Raj Chan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than 70% of all people (men & women) don't really love their partners when they marry. They only think they do. 70%
of them end up divorcing, the rest just go through the motions.
Remember that they didn't lie, they just got it wrong.
2007-10-23 19:38:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a man, married for 33 years, and I emphatically DO NOT think it's OK to lie about love. Neither do any of my friends--but maybe that is because I hang around with people who share my values.
2007-10-23 19:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋