my ex husband has full custody of my 4 girls under what i would call suspicious circumstances. despite the fact that i have not been stripped of any parental rights he does have the ability to keep me from my children. during the custody proceedings he was treated with respect, listened to and catered to, why, i honestly do not know. i have a decent 3 br apt in the burbs and the capibility to give my girls all they need. without even assesing the situations the children were remanded to his custody. i have recently found out that he is living in a 2 br house with a woman, her brother and her 4 boys. so thats 6 males ranging in age from 2 to 18 yo kids and my ex, and 5 females 7 to 15 yo and a grown woman. 11 people in a 2 br house. is this even LEGAL? and how in the world could they release my girls into that overcrowded situation rather than with me, where there are no other kids and 1 br more to house them in? do i need a lawyer? if so can you help find one that might work pro bono?
2007-10-23 18:07:58 · 12 answers · asked by colts_pet_lioness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course there is alot of information that you as readers do not have. the base facts of the matter are these, he is a criminal, i am not. he is untreated in his mental illness, i have recieved treatment. we both had some issues in our past together, iknow i have (and had before the divorce) made some changes, perhaps he has too.i hope so it is good for kids to have everyone that loves them in their lives and able to support them is for my babies not for propriety or some imagined sense of "right" i want the girls to be healthy physically and mentally and i honestly do not think that 11 people in a 2 br housse is a healthy situation and i also do not think that him keeping them from me is for his own motives, & i think that his motives are not completely in keeping with the responsibility that he has to the girls. they need the space & attention that are impossible where they are, 9 kids & 2 adults in a tiny house. all i want is to be able to give the girls all i have 4 them
2007-10-23 19:33:40 · update #1
i am in colorado if it helps with the legal knowledge
2007-10-23 19:35:24 · update #2
to mlw12342001: actually thats kinda the point of my question. my lawyer didnt do her job properly in or out of court, she never returned any phone calls and never spoke up for me when we were in court. 3 major decisions on my case were made in hearings that either i had a substitute for her during, or that i was never even notified of a change on the dockett, the judge on my case was changed toward the end of it, after i had fought for almost 2 years. i know it makes no sense GOD do i know it, what i dont know is how to get it FIXED i want what is right yes their father makes alot more mney than i do, he continues to own the business that we built together and is relatively stable despite his mental problems, flat out neither of us by what i suppose are societies standards is completely right in the head. not alot of people are frankly we both suffered severe abuse as children it happens yadda yadda so what, that isnt the point, what is the point now is making sure that my... our
2007-10-24 09:05:59 · update #3
girls have the safest and most nurturing and enriching environment possible for us wheather seperrate or together to provide them. i am asking what i should do to make sure that happens when my ex refuses to talk to me, wont let me see email or talk to the kids and throws away everything i send. how can i make him do what is right by the girls and at least allow contact, he needs for me to take the responsability that is mine toward those girls and those girls need it too. right now i can give them more attention and space and moral/emotional support. how do i make this change, what documentation do i need where do i take it, can i have the origional case investigated? or do i need to open a new one or what? my lawyer was never there to explain anything to me or fight for me and i need to right this wrong, for my girls sake and my own. how do i do it?
2007-10-24 09:14:53 · update #4
I think that isn't a safe environment for your girls to be in. I think what you need to do is find a lawyer. Most times they don't charge anything for the consultation. Get some ideas from him/her on what you can do to take your ex to court, and possibly get custody of your daughters. Ask the lawyer if there is anyone that he/she knows that could help you pro bono or a lesser fee based on your income. Good Luck Hun
2007-10-23 18:20:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jilly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a lawyer now.
Tell him the situation and petition ask him to petition for a change in custody, based on the situation your husband has your girls in.
No, it is not legal in most places for that many people to live in a two-bedroom house. Child Protection Services would be very interested to hear about that arrangement.
How much are your girls worth? Start calling lawyers, explain the situation and work out a payment plan. Don't wait, get the yellow pages out now and start calling until you find a good Family Practice lawyer!
2007-10-24 01:17:22 · answer #2 · answered by Greenman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need an attorney as soon as possible because the attorney you had during the divorce was worthless unless there is something that you are not telling us here. Look for the Legal Aid society in your area and consult with an attorney and you may well end up getting the girls and child support as well. If indeed there is nothing that you are not telling us here, no substance abuse, no mental problems, and so on, you might consider filing charges against the lawyer you had and getting him disbarred for failing to represent you during the divorce.
good luck with this. I hope you get the girls back soon!!
2007-10-24 01:19:17 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You went into court without a lawyer , your 1st huge mistake.
But quite frankly , a judge just handing the girl's to their dad for no apparent reason and without a child safety supervisor sussing out both residences? I dont think so honey , something your not telling us , come back and ask again when your willing to share the whole story not just the sugar coated I'm the innocent victim version hey.
2007-10-24 02:13:40 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the local Women's Center... a place that counsels women in abuse and will refer you to a lawyer who will either work pro-bono or on a sliding fee basis.
Try talking to the family court that handled the case and ask for a consultation with the judge. Get custody of your kids back. This is nuts.
2007-10-24 01:17:28 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. You need a lawyer! Do whatever you have to do to get your children back, even if it's borrowing money from your parents/relatives or taking out a loan. Anytime you have any kind of custody hearing- You need some kind of legal representation! I would try to help more, but I don't know what city or state is which you live. Good luck!!!!but please heed my advice and go have a consult with an attorney as soon as you possibly can!!!
2007-10-24 01:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Freke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to find a good attorney and get your kids back. too many people in that house, he doesnt deal with his mental health issues, his criminal past, etc. everything needs to be addressed in front of a judge, family court referee, etc but you need to find an attorney who specializes in this. you might want to talk to law students at the local university to see if they could help you or advertise in the local newspaper for a pro bono attorney.
2007-10-28 00:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by omchico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact family social services in your area. Why he's able to keep the girls from you is beyond my understanding. You have every right under the law to see your children. When you went to your divorce hearing (you did go didn't you?) why didn't you contest the custody? You could have gotten shared custody. Family social services will help you.
2007-10-24 01:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Country 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow yes you need a lawyer and if you get a good one they may be able to get your ex to pay for it. sure all sounds fishy to me. they just dont give the kids to the man with out having something big on the mother. so if theres nothing i dont know what went wrong there.. you do need a lawyer because thats not good for the kids to be living that way anyway.. good luck
2007-10-24 01:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah you need a lawyer your kids should never of left your care if you werent miss-treating them in anyway, have been to family court myself and hell they need good reason and proof to take your kids away,
2007-10-24 01:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by jucielucy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋