Help me with my roommate issues?

Question

I'm asking this here because I'm thinking I'll get more negative responses elsewhere, and 'cause I know you all.

So if you don't know I'm in college, and I'm living with one of my roommates from last year. Things were fine last year, but now she has a girlfriend and it's complicating things. I can't stand PDA and she knows it, and yet she brings her gf over and they make out while I'm in the room, even if I was in there first. And now she's (jokingly, I hope) complaining that the bunked beds are "inconvenient" for *ahem* certain reasons.

Basically though, I just feel really uncomfortable when they're making out in the room and I'm trying to, say, study. Is that reasonable, or is the whole sexile/PDA thing an expected part of college life?

Hahaha, Warren, I'm bi! No homophobia here.

And to those who said I need to be up front, I think saying "You all need to find some other place to do that" is pretty up front, not to mention the fact that last year we both put on our housing forms "no overnight visitors."

*Sigh*...

Answer 1

It sounds like you live in a one-room double - that sucks! If you do have another room, move to it and then bring up the incident later. If not, tell her it has to stop while you're in the room. Let her know when you'll be out (i.e. when they can have the room to themselves) but don't let her make you that uncomfortable. It's hard dealing with friends that are becoming crappy roommates, but it's better to do something about it than to be unhappy for a year. If you haven't talked to your RA already, you should. Even though sexile is kind of expected, and you should probably head over to the library every so often for her sake, PDA is unneccessary.

[Or you could just poke them with a stick...] :)

Answer 2

This is easy. Let's look at it as if it was a guy instead of a girl. There is a level of respect. They need to take that some where else. Get a hotel or something. Just come out and tell her that she needs to do that some other place and time. If she can't respect that, burst in on their little party and tell that "little stank" she is bringing over to leave. You guys might get into it after that, but she will get over it. This is not "Girls Gone Wild". Plus it is against school policy and you both can go down for it.

Answer 3

Darling Wayf's advice is spot-on, darling. Your roommate looks not able to particular her lawsuits in a mature and in charge way, yet be sure you placed up a gathering as Wayf shows, wherein the roommate can air her grievances without warmth. that could desire to help sparkling the air sufficient to stay together with her till she strikes out. check together with her gently and without accusation on your assembly...her habit, as you describe it, looks style of random (truly? brushing tooth too loudly?), as though she has another, unacknowledged difficulty that's making her irritable and offended and she or he's taking it out on you considering the fact which you're on hand. i locate it exciting that maximum of persons slagged you off for having your BF stay over, even although you had a signed roommate settlement especially pointing out which you're allowed to try this (whether that's against dorm regulations). I additionally locate it exciting how lots blatant rudeness lives in the Etiquette section. (((TIMA3)))

Answer 4

If you are uncomfortable about the situation you need to make it VERY clear to her. Do you have to spend next semester with her as well. If you are in a room and she is with her girlfriend advice that she goes in another room to do what she wants rather than in front of you. That kind of stuff should be personal anyway and she needs to respect that.
If she doesnt you should speak to someone about the situation and try to switch rooms with someone or something.
lol even your question made me feel uncomfortable I hate all kinds of PDA.

EDIT

College life is for studying, gaining and building a specialization. Affection is a personal thing and shouldnt be shown to EVERYONE.

Answer 5

It's inconsiderate. You would probably be equally offended if she was bringing home a boyfriend and they were making out in front of you.

If you want to keep her as a roommate, tell her it's a problem for her and ask her nicely to stop it. Try not to come across as a homophobe. If she won't stop look for a way to change roommates--whether that means kicking her out or moving yourself. You don't have to tolerate it, but you may do better separating yourself from her than getting her to change her ways.

Good luck.

Answer 6

o well that is most defiantly part of college life. You should def tlk to her and get it so that its at like more routine so you have alone study time. As far as the roommates g/f in the room, thats unavoidable. I mean when i was a freshman my roommate "thought" i was a sleep, is the best way to put it, so i mean your fairly lucky they stay cloth..for now. They best thing you can do is just tlk to your roommate especially if you roomed once b4...hope it helped

Answer 7

Typically, you sign a roommate agreement form when living in dorms. It is best to sign an agreement rather than work these issues out as they come up.

In my open, college is about studying and physical intimacy is inappropriate when another roommate is present. Guest visits ought to be limited in dorm rooms. However, this is just one person's opinion. I believe that your complaints are justified but there is no standard expectation for college in general and you are just going to have to work this out with your roommate.

Answer 8

Is that the same roomate as before when you were annoyed with her? Remember when I told u to give her one last warning then kick her out if it happened again? I think it is time.... if it is getting in the way of your education, you have to break down all those barriers :)
-Amanda
Sorry I replied so late - I usually answer to your questions...
Even though I am straight, I still have issues similiar to this one.

Answer 9

your college should have someone to counsel both of you with issues like this. You are absolutely in the right to expect agreements to be upheld, as well as respect for your right to privacy. The room mate can relocate.

Answer 10

Yes it is expected at college but you sould be able to bring in your b/f and/or g/f also sence she is bring one in the dorm-room. And maby she is trying to get you to join in with her and just have fun w/ her.