What is the best way to deal with a person who inflates their ego at your expence?

Question

A guy I work with is basically a good guy, but he tends to, 1. Put on a self important ingatiating manner on the phone and often passes off half truth as fact, 2. Always tries to cut down many statements I make in a superior all knowing way. 3 Will jump in to 'top' many conversations I have with others, as if his ego needs to demonstrate he is better than me. How could I deal with him in a way that is self respecting to myself, without disrespecting him?

Answer 1

If you were referring to a semi-friendly acquaintance, my answer may not be so gracious towards this guy. In any circumstance it is good to remember that the ego is the part of yourself that states, "I am good because ____" . (fill in the blank, IE. because I sound so smart). Self esteem on the other hand is that inner sense of how you feel about yourself without the qualifier. You can think, "I am good". Human ego's can be greedy, and depreciating of others. If you don't need the qualifier - you are way ahead. Check out some information on E.Q. This is about your emotional intelligence. A little self-focus on what is good about you may give you a different perspective on your co-worker. Why compete or even worry about this guy? Why does he get under your skin? You may discover this guys secret gift to you is a little more knowledge about yourself - or maybe... he has entertainment value. Down the road you may see this guy was a catalyst for a change. Change can be a good thing, and sometimes it take a real turkey to get it in motion.

Answer 2

look at what you outlined. This man has to top conversations that he is not even in. He has to cut people down. He has to pass off half truths.
What does it say? 1) No body talks to me, 2) everybody else it much bigger than I am, and 3) I don't have the guts to be honest when I don't know.
What do you do with this person?
a) pity the fool
b) Continue on with your conversation as if he did not matter, because he doesn't.
c) Call him off to the side and explain why nobody wants to talk to him.
This guy is all about himself, and his universe is too small. He is his own worst enemy, and will destroy himself if he doesn't open up and look at the bigger picture.
the world is not about him. remind him of that.

Answer 3

Yo Jack
the very next time this snipe pulls this trash
look him smack in the eye and simply tell him
to "butt out" !!
All of this "respecting" garbage is a moot point here --
He damned well doesn't respect YOU !! What you carrying
a torch for HIM for ??
There's only one thing that people like this understand
and that is someone standing up for themselves and
letting them know that the days of their shoveling crap on THEM is over !! Period !!

So --- what is the best way to deal with a person who inflates their ego at your expense ?
Stop paying the bill !!!!

Answer 4

think ahead and try to figure out what he will say. then frame a conversation or friendly exchange of words that in the end makes it obvious to everyone in the conversation and to him that he is full of bs. we have this kid at work that is the same way. claims to be a master mechanic and welder. he's 19 and has a trade education in carpentry. the other day he spouting off about how great of a mechanic he is because he fixed a faulty master cylinder in a cowerkers mother's car. he was bragging about the job calling it a master solenoid change. no such thing. i bought the master cylinder off of the woman whose car he fixed and put it in my moms. they drive the same car. master cylinder works fine and the womans car still has no brakes. i asked him after putting the master cylinder in my moms car how the master solenoid job went with the woman standing out of sight but within earshot. after he finished bragging about his prowess she walked over and asked me how her master cylinder was working in my moms car and casually mentioned that she had no brakes and said that she had to take it to a garage to rework the job. he got very sheepish. i'm not saying to embarass him, but sometimes braggards and grandstanders need to be metaphorically kicked in the groin.

Answer 5

wow this situation is an icky tricky one, but my best advice is, for you to confront him. tell him that you need to sit down somewhere with him and have a serious adult conversation. when you sit down with him, just tell him the truth, that you don't appreciate his behaviour and his constant need to one-up you. its also possible that you threaten him or intimidate him, so he feels that its his duty to make you feel little. if having this chat with him doesn't work, then your next step would be talking to your supervisor. if that doesn't work, take it to management, and so on and so forth. theres only so much you can do, but it starts with being an adult, and talking to him one on one to find out what the story is, and get all your feelings out on the table.

Answer 6

Next time you can help, explain why his "facts" are only semi-truths, and give a suggestion of your own. Always be polite, as you are adults, not screaming children.

Answer 7

Ask him ( while in a group)- why he is so insecure to put you down as the only way to feel better about himself?

Answer 8

Let him! Sooner or later he will be found out for the person he really is.
Why are you letting this person bother you? Is it because you see traits of himself in yourself?
Read this and I'm sure it will help.
http://www.geocities.com/buddhism2001/4nobletruths.html

Answer 9

well i would cut his ego down haha but jus sit him down and talk to him about it...that would probly work

Answer 10

...just out think him. or her or it...no other way .....
D.