From the start, I didn't feel a spark. I felt forced to date him because his mom set us up. I realized though that as we dated, I was being drawn closer to him. He's a caring and thoughtful man- intelligent, open minded, experienced, and he was very interested in me from the start. He's 30 and I'm 23, and it has now been a year. I am very happy with him- he's very supportive, but I don't feel a spark! I feel comfortable with him, but I am not sure what it is- maybe we're missing the spiritual connection? We don't talk about religion because we have different beliefs, but maybe that is part of it? Or maybe I am so scared he's going to bring up marriage that I'm holding back? Sometimes I feel like its unfair because he got to have 7extra years of dating before he found me, and he obviously wants to be with me for the rest of his life. But I am 23- for me, this is not the age I planned to be ready for marriage, and I don't feel ready to commit myself that seriously. Thoughts?
2007-10-23 16:05:44 · 7 answers · asked by FutureDoc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hope this helps
http://onlyinsilence.blogspot.com/2007/10/life.html
http://onlyinsilence.blogspot.com/2007/08/lessons-of-love.html
2007-10-23 16:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I believe that "the spark" is what keeps people together. One of my friends had a great husband but didn't have feelings of attraction toward him. She ended up asking for a divorce and found someone who made her feel alive again. She said that was what was missing in their relationship. And without attraction, sex becomes more of a chore than being romantic.
Your relationship doesn't sound too bad, but you sound like you are missing a few things. You want to talk about religion, or you are holding back because you have different beliefs. Is that a problem for you?
You say that this is not the age you planned on getting married. But life doesn't turn out as we plan. If you were ready, then the time line wouldn't be an issue. And you wouldn't feel cheated because you didn't get the chance to date others. Tell him how you feel before he brings up the idea of marriage. He should know that you aren't ready.
2007-10-24 08:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel ready to stop dating then you shouldn't even consider getting married. At 23 you should be out dating men to find the type you do like and the type you don't like until you narrow it down to the one that you DO FEEL A SPARK. It's important in a relationship to feel that spark and love it when he shows up unexpectedly anywhere ...get goose bumps when he touches you...that is what you should be looking for at 23.
2007-10-23 23:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me that you answered your own question with the last statement
"this is not the age I planned to be ready for marriage, and I don't feel ready to commit myself that seriously"
If you don't feel ready tell him. He sounds like a decent guy and deserves and honest and thoughtful answer.
2007-10-23 23:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you don't feel your ready for marriage then don't do it. if you rush into marriage you might end up with a divorce down the line. better to be sure now then to be in court later
2007-10-23 23:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by mommyt06 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you have someone else in mind if you are affraid to commit to this one why not try telling him this and go from there cause if you are not open about everything with him you will regret it in the end and if he is so supportive as you say he willl understand if you say you would like to have a date with a few other guys to make sure he is the one good luck
2007-10-23 23:12:25 · answer #6 · answered by christy b 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are not ready for marriage, dont do it.
Why would you not talk about religion and different beleifs ? its going to be an integral part of your life, if you at all intend to be together.
take your time and do not rush into things.
2007-10-23 23:10:51 · answer #7 · answered by Romi 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋