is this anything to worry about?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating a month. I have no problem with him keeping pictures of himself and his ex girlfriend because no one should have to throw was their memories however I find it strange he still has them posted publically...facebook and myspace. I fear asking him about it because what if he still has feelings there? Ive asked once and still not gone. I find it strange bc one its a lot of photos and two they are no longer friends.

Answer 1

Dont ask about the photo's, you have to be direct and say they bother you. Ask him again to take them off the site. If he doesnt remove them after that, he is having trouble letting the ex go. You can make the choice of leaving him after he is insensitive to your feelings again. Dont be afraid of the truth. The Truth can set you free.

Answer 2

Yeah, that doesn't sound quite right. Are there pictures of YOU?

Males are especially visual and not particularly sentimental once something is truly over to them, (you don't see too many men with "memory shoeboxes" of stuff from Kim, and Jenni, and Liz...). So, my guess is he keeps her visage around because he still WANTS to look at her.

Does that mean you guys are kaput for sure? No, but it does mean that he isn't totally ready to give his all to you. Whether or not that is okay with you is for you to decide. A month is a relatively short time to have been together, but to me, long enough to be #2.

It doesn't have to be ugly. You can very gently talk to him about it, say that you don't feel comfortable with her being a part of his present. My own guy has a few old cards from his first gf, but they are in the abyss of his other stuff, and not right up in plain sight. I agree, he has the right to have them, and I am even glad he does (it bespeaks well of him that he can have tender feelings for something that didn't work out). However, to need to keep it so close and immediate is alarming.

See what he says. If he can't put them away or is defensive, you probably have some decision-making to do.

Good luck!

Answer 3

The face is with the daisy while the mind is with the rose. Where the heart lies, that is what only he who possesses it knows. He shouldn't have started a new relationship when he didn't get over his last one. Talk to him, give you both some time apart, until he can think straight, and lose his past. If not, leave him, and that's that. Find someone better, someone who have you in their heart, an entire heart.. with no one else in it.

Answer 4

Hi Lynn,
Have a heart to heart with him. Tell him as much as you understand that his "ex" will always have a place in his heart. He should in turn understand you if you are worried & uncomfortable with it. But don't come in with a confrontational attitude. To make a relationship work, he has to know how you feel on certain issues & as much as you might not agree on everything, it's important that he knows about it. Obviously your boyfriend hasn't gotten over his "ex". and your job is to make him get over it. How? By being loving, caring, understanding & non-judgmental. You do that & one day you won't see the photo of his ex anymore.

Answer 5

ok umm that's stupid if he hasn't removed the pics from the web if he has time for changing the pics then some tings is wrong , u guys should like take a ton of cute pics and tell that he could put some on the web if he hesitates to do so i think u should think of it in two ways 1 he doesn't want the affair to be public or 2 he still has feelings for her

Answer 6

i think u have a problem there.. its like your boyfrnd's feelings for his ex is still there.. he still has feelings for his ex bec if not, at the first place, he should erase those pics that was considered as past.. the best advice that i can give you is to be strong and to have the courage to frank him.. ask him if he still love his ex, because if you won't do that, it's you who will suffer and be hurt so might as well, take the risk..anyway, you will experience the pain for quite a short time,there are a lot of guys out there not only him..

Answer 7

First of all, you've only been dating a month. I don't even think that's long enough to consider someone a "boyfriend", but maybe thats just me. I do think that no matter how long you know someone, if you can't openly talk with them about anything, its probably not going to be that great of a relationship in the first place.

Answer 8

He is oviously still into her, and I'm not saying that he is not into you but I would talk to him about it again, but you dont want to sound clingy or needy. If you guy's have been together for a decent amount of time, he should take the pictures down if it makes u uncomfortable. I'm not saying throw away his memories, but she is his past and u are his future. expecially if other ppl can see it

Answer 9

Yes worry and worry alot. as his girlfreind he should at least respect u by taking those down. i know you have only been together for a month, but he sounds like a jerk. From the looks of it hes still not over it if its so many pictures, which is better for you because it is clear and sinz its only been a month u can find someone worth your time. Dont let urself be his rebound. Ask him clearly wat his deal is so if hes not over her, he can stop wasting both ur time and his. best wishes!

Answer 10

I would say that you have a problem. He has not wanted to leave the relationship as of yet. I would say don't get into the relationship to heavy. He needs time to get over it and all it will do is get you upset. You do not want that. Also you need to be a friend first. You can't replace her. He needs to know you care and are there to talk to.