Men in high end careers and relationships...?

Question

Men in high end careers like Doctors, Lawyers, Excutive types and the like are all in away married to thier careers---90% of thier time is in some way taken with thier career world.
My question is how many women really find relationships with them satisfying?
Why or why not?
I've been told I'm crazy because I don't want a relationship with them because for me, there's just not enough time with the person---it's painful.

Bella: I've actually seen some of what you refer to.

Lioness: I'm sure a high end career woman could find compatiblity with a high end career man. However, there still is no mistaking that a lot of times high end career men are "married" to thier careers.

Lioness: It does make sense and I believe it's a mixture of it being normal to you and that the two of you interacted so much through his work.

Answer 1

I only date men with demanding careers partially because they have a better appreciation of my goals and ambitions. They understand why I would want to put in a 17-hour day when I have a deadline or event coming up. Instead of complaining, guilt trips or clinging, they are supportive and encouraging of my lifestyle! And we always have enough time to take mini-trips or vacations together and actually enjoy our time off after getting things done. We support each other along the way and can celebrate the results together---it's the best feeling in the world. Besides, we push each other to improve. Guys who do not have a successful career would either feel intimidated or unable to challenge me or support me in the things I would want to do. When my ex had a case coming up and had to stay up all night, I would bring him food to his office, and when I had to do the same for my job, he would do my laundry and make sure I'm staying as stress free as possible for that week. What more could I ask for?

Compatibility is important, so you would want someone who is on the same page, doing the same things you do, otherwise you will see their "high end career" as coming in between you two and won't be able to appreciate and support them. You have to be with someone where you can meet each other's needs :)

EDIT: That is NOT true. They do WANT to have a woman by their side to support them. They want stability and commitment, actually. My ex husband spent enough time travelling and living in hotel rooms between meetings---when he came home, he wanted a woman waiting for him. And no, a man cheats when he feels his needs are not being met or doesn't feel understood---being with someone who nags and can't understand him can be a reason why he wouldn't want to commit or cheat---it has nothing to do with his career but who he's with. Does a successful career come with a big ego? Yes. But I'm cocky too, so it evens out and we can check each other. You guys are looking at successful men as if they are "aliens" A successful man/woman is someone who put enough time and energy together with intelligence and right choices and moved up--what's so "alien" about that? They take out the trash just like everybody else and stay loyal and kind just like anybody else LOL

Bella: "Why settle for one cookie when I can have the whole jar?" You must assume you're just a cookie and not look at yourself as a catch if you make this statement. There are millions of women out there, just like there are millions of men out there. So if you're a successful women you have as many options as the man does, if not more, why wouldn't the guy want to "lock you down?" And success doesn't automatically grant lack of morals and cheating...C'mon folks LOL

Hala: Like I said, it's a matter of compatibility and actually finding an interest in what the person you are with does. My last ex was a lawyer and I was always interested and excited in the details of every case...we would have long conversations and discussions about his cases, I would even read some of the stuff maybe because I have always been passionate about legal issues---I guess you could say I was partially married to his job too? And he took as much interest in mine? Does that make sense? Maybe I'm married to my career so I see it as normal?... considering I've been here at work for 14 hours and I have 2 more hours to go while typing this LOL

Bella: We would have to agree to disagree. Success and options don't make one more of a cheater. There are different types of men and women in every group---a guy working at T-Mobile may cheat as much as a CEO. This argument is as invalid as the one some make about attractive women being more of a "high risk." You're automatically assuming that men are pigs and cheaters. A successful man wouldn't want to risk something good he has at home, that he appreciates, any more than anybody else. Besides, if lots of women throw themselves at him, there are a lot of men who throw themselves at you---you're on equal fields---both with lots of other options. There are successful men who care about family values with moral codes and boundaries. Now, if you want to talk about pro-atheletes, yes, I do agree---but that's because a football player follows a different kind of "culture" most of the time (this, of course, is an entirely different debate).

Answer 2

if the man is open and giving, and really loves the woman he is with, i think he can be dedicated to his career and still make his relationship a priority. the key is that he chooses a woman who also has a lot going on in terms of her own career, her own hobbies, and her own friends, etc. if both partners are busy, motivated, and successful, they will both be happy (assuming there is true love there). if one partner is always waiting around for the other, it will never work.

too often, men marry "down," i.e., they marry a woman less successful than they are because they want a caretaker, someone who cooks and cleans for them and will put them on a pedestal. in that case, the woman is probably miserable because she is expected to compromise all her dreams and goals in order to support his. resentment eventually builds because he never spends any time with her and she gets lonely.

the driven man should marry the driven woman. it is the only way it can truly work.

Answer 3

I have found that men in high income jobs not only don't have time for a relationship, they aren't interested in commitment, either. I really feel they figure "why settle for one cookie when I can have the whole jar?" I have dated lawyers and corporate executives, and the story is the same. Divorced and emotionally detached. Even if they are still married they are dissatisfied and looking to cheat. If you want a relationship, go for someone more steady.

LIONESS: I definitely see myself as more than just a "cookie," I know I am the whole package. The problem is that, in my experience, men with high level, high income jobs tend to have women throwing themselves at them. (There are lots of gold diggers out there). Having a high income is not an automatic indicator of a propensity to cheat, but it does provide an atmosphere for more temptation, as well as more opportunities. Add an egotistical sense of entitlement, and you've got trouble. Unfortunately, all of these factors create a "perfect storm" for cheating. And yes, I have a successful career of my own. I don't need a "trophy boyfriend" to boost my ego.

Answer 4

I guess you handle it by having a "high end" career like he does.

When I married he was starting law school - he was not a lawyer yet. ((But I also did not have my doctorate then. )) Once he finished law school he decided that he wanted his own practice as opposed to working for a mega-lawyer firm. They wanted a standard 70 hour committment. He did not want that. He wanted what we now call a work/life balance.

We built his practice together- I had my own career but acted as his office manager during my ""spare"" time.

Answer 5

When I was dating a couple of years ago, I dated men with high, moderate and low incomes, and I am with someone with the moderate to low end income. The guys I met who had high incomes just weren't available for a relationship. They were good guys, they were willing to commit, but they were gone most of the time, at work, or working from home on their computer, phone, ipod, or all of them at once. They didn't know how to relax. And frankly, they were exhausted. After a while, they were boring, since their entire lives revolved around their work. I'm glad they are successful, but I've walked away a number of times from material success since I didn't have a life. I need a balance, and if someone is totally obsessed with their career, I wish them well with their love affair, with their job.

Answer 6

I read a testimony from the wife of a high-powered businessman (she referred to him as a "Wall Street Warrior") who bought her all sorts of lavish things, but was never around to be with his family. She wished she could have married a different man.

Answer 7

Generally, the ego is a problem. All day, people tell them how wonderful they are, cater to their every whim. They come home, spouse says, "take out the trash." She "doesn't understand". So they have an affair.