we have some issues and lately he has removed is wedding band and said that he doesn't trust me because i filed a EPO a few months ago and when we went to court we talked about working on our marriage and that is what I thought we were doing and he has recently said that I could take his world away from him at anytime and he just doesn't trust me and he has resevations about us.when I try to bring up this and ask questions he blows up and says I need help if I can't understand his feelings and that I have to make everything about ME. I am to the point where I am afraid to say anything to him regarding us,but I feel if I don't we sre going nowhere.He likes to go to bars and drink and this last time he did it I asked him to wear his wedding band and not to be acting single and he once again said there you go making MY night into you. HELP I need some advice!
2007-10-23 15:07:20 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is for the one that said more info. we have been married 51/2 yrs and 3 children he is a trk driver and is gone 2-3 months at a time he has cheated on me when we were expecting our 3rd child and his favorite line instead of talking to me when we argue is pack your s and get the f out well when I was doing this a few months ago he threatened to throw boiling water on me tried to diable my car so I couldn't go and then hit the hood of my car several times. and ever since this time when we get into a dicussion or I ask questions regarding situations that my have come up I am making it into a ME case example he told me on the phone one night that he was having a issue that was new to him and when he was home that issue came up again and I asked if he thought it had anything to do with him having reservations with us and once again he piped up there u go making it into YOU
2007-10-23 15:25:21 · update #1
You are being abused. Accept it.
Then find an al-anon meeting. Go to that meeting, find a sponsor, listen to her suggestions and work the steps.
Good luck. I couldn't make any simpler.
2007-10-23 15:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like the two of you are still very emotionally connected but dont know how to sort things out.
I went through this phase for a very long time and things kept getting worse either bcoz of over anxiety or imcomplete communications.
Right now, the two of you are doing "stupid" lil things to hurt each other and looks like, you both approach each other at a "wrong" time.
While you can, you should find a good counsellor / therapist to help you try and make it better.
If this continues, its all going to turn into resentment and contempt and bring you two at the worst spot.
Find some common friends to help you two talk or communicate (someone very trustworthy and mature).
also, read steven stosney's "You dont have to take it anymore" or visit www.compassionpower.com
You still have time to try and making it work. My sincere advice would be to give it honest efforts and getting a very effective counsellor.
2007-10-23 15:21:34 · answer #2 · answered by Romi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a control freak. You need to give up and divorce him. You are only hurting yourself by staying with him.
2007-10-23 15:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so,
is it really all about you? Do you understand his shock?
need more info.
From what you wrote, it seems as if you are not satisfied and he is in total shock?
2007-10-23 15:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋