i mean there are toxic circumstances that are understandable for a divorce
But what if one parent decided they just wanted to live a single life? isnt that just selfish ?
the kids are left to suffer
some people dont even want to attempt counseling or anything.
Serious answers only please
2007-10-23 14:14:04 · 12 answers · asked by simply me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes
I think when you make a commitment to someone else (be it your wife, your husband, your god, or children) You should see it through.
And when you have a child, you become second on your own list... If the child has already come attached to both parents at his home. Then it would be devastating to him/her to make a dramatic change...However if the child is not familiar with either parent then I don't see why it would affect the child negatively.
I guess the best way i can state my opinion is to ask yourself the question "what is best for the child?" if their used to both parents being home then your happiness has to wait until your responsibilities to the child have been fulfilled.
I'm not saying don't get a divorce if that's whats best, I'm just saying wait until the child is old enough to understand whats happening and why...ex. "Mom and Dad need some time away from each other, and it has nothing to do with you. Mom is still Mom and Dad is still Dad."
Just my thoughts, don't mean to be mean! ;)
2007-10-23 14:58:27 · answer #1 · answered by mmcustm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think it is selfish...sometimes it is selfish to STAY married when there are children involved. My parents would have been 100% BETTER parents had they divorced, instead they CHOSE to stay together and make the entire family as miserable as they were. Which is why I left home at 16 and never returned. It has NOTHING to do with wanting the "single life" What it has to do with is some people should not be married to one another. In my family there was no "counseling" that would have helped, my father was a violent alcoholic who did NOT desire to quit drinking and my mother was a manic depressive who refused medication. My ex husband was abusive and I refused to bring go on with my daughter growing up there. YOU can't by anyway know what goes on in the privacy of one's home so you really have no right to judge. Don't GENERALIZE about things you know nothing about, it only makes you look less intelligent when you do.
2007-10-23 14:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess it depends on the circumstances. I do agree people do not try hard enough to make marriage work. Trying to preserve a family unit is very important and the basis of what I think is wrong with alot of kids and adults alike. However, I also think it is important for your children to observe a healthy, happy relationship between their parents. If they don't, they could follow the same patterns. So, if you are married and just want to be single, you should realize the grass isn't always greener. But if you have bad circumstances, like abuse, etc. life is too short to be unhappy and unhealthy.
2007-10-23 14:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by andmic510 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said toxic circumstances. I don't think that it is better to stay together and put the children through that. They deserve to be happy and have a home life that is not all stress. They will not be happier if you stay together, they will be miserable. I had parents that did that. They hated each other and they ruined every holiday and party that there was. They made all of us miserable that we all counted the days until we could leave. If you want out, get out. You also deserve to be happy.
2007-10-23 14:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know someone who stayed with her husband for 15 years because of their children and she was miserable the whole time. When she finally filed for divorce her kids wouldn't talk to her because she never shared any of her problems with them and they assumed she was just being mean to their dad. She had so much relief from the divorce even though her kids were mad and you could tell. So, stay together for the kids....no way. I don't think that someone would get divorced JUST for the single life. There must be something else involved...maybe not happy, unsatisfied, there are many problems available
2007-10-23 14:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no divorce is not selfish cause kids should not be in an unhappy home with fighting all the time . I dont blame them for not wanting counseling it is useless. good luck .
2007-10-23 14:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not always. My parents clearly were not getting along and
were better off being divorced, I was 12 when it happened.
But they were better when they were apart than they were
when they were together, and we knew it too. So it was
better for all of us that it turned out the way it did.
2007-10-23 14:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the ONLY reason for a divorce in my eyes is cheating. either way, if the parents stay together and fight, or get divorced, the kids suffer anyway.
2007-10-23 14:39:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this link can kind of related to this question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au_sQsKFikArlNC5wobbxtXsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071021234001AAzZ0bH
like people said, kids are no stupid, why should the couple stay together if they dont have love for each other, its kind of sickening that people are willing to suffer and stay in the marriage JUST becuase of children, they will grow and mature and learn to deal with it. there is not reason to stay in the marriage.
2007-10-23 14:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do think that people give up to easily and don't try hard enough or at all to try to work it out , but if you have tried everything then its not selfish, having kids see you fight isn't fair to them either
2007-10-23 14:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋