ok let me update my issue ok let me explain about my situaion.reason i ask why shud i get married is because ok im 20years old,ive never smoked,drinked,never had sex and I AM SUUUPER SHYY i cant look at my teachers,co-workers,aunts,my girl cuz in the eye or anything im real real shy and im 20,thats one point another point is that sadly when i was around 12 or 13yrs old i was sexually used (im not being nasty here im being serious i was you know butt f**d by this teacher) and i was in boarding school and everytime we would take a afternoon nap at my boardin school this guy would wait till everyone falls asleep and come and f***n chew on my cheek and kiss me i was only 12 or 13 and even right now im 20..5'10 and weight like 145 so you can imagine how skinny and weightless i was back then (i play ALOTTA basketball) so i mean that year in that boardin school by that teacher i was sexually used twice
2007-10-23 12:58:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also by this student that was there who was like used to harras me like,when i would go shoer he would come and show his c**k to me all hard,and kiss me..basically what im saying is that..when i get married,how in the hell can i kiss my wife and make love w/o these horrbile scences coming back i mean imagine if you were in my situion and you try to kiss your wife on the cheeks and all you can imagine is you getting sexually touched and felt all over by some guy,and being kissed on the lips by another guy,how nasty that is..u see what i mean?holla..but all i know im bout to be super rich real soon so you know..maybe the Creator is compensating me because i never told me parents or the authorises like the police or anyone cuz i was 12years old,i didnt know what sperm was or what sex was,when i was 16 i had my first i guess experince of sperm comin out of me and then it hit me..in bed i layed there for about 4hours crying because i had realised what happned to me when i was 12
2007-10-23 13:00:01 · update #1
but i still havent told anyone till this day..so why should i get married?
2007-10-23 13:00:22 · update #2
Why are you worried about getting married right now? Do you have a serious girlfriend who is pressuring you to marry? If not, then I don't think you need to stress over it right now. The main thing you need to focus on is:
*Getting therapy to get past the sexual abuse you had as a child. Sexual abuse at any age is horrific and can cause tremendous stress and pain even in adulthood. You need to get therapy for it so you can overcome the issues you have with women and being shy.
Once you can emotionally get past those issues, you can start to think about having a healthy, happy relationship with a woman. Don't even think about marriage until you can at least have a successful relationship. When you have a happy relationship, you'll understand why people want or need to get married. Until then, don't worry about it!
2007-10-23 13:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get married when you meet the right person. However, in the meantime you should probably make an appointment with a counsellor and discuss these issues. Clearly you have had only negative experiences with something that should be so beautiful.
Once you get treatment you should be able to understand that these events in your past are not your fault and sex or kissing doesn't have to be like that.
Marriage can be the most beautiful thing that two individuals do. It's not just about sex, it's about finding someone who is willing to support you and grow with you. It's like a huge burden is lifted off your shoulders, because now you have someone to support you in whatever you do. You'll be able to face each day knowing that no matter how bad your day is, there is a beautiful woman who loves you with all her heart. You'll know that you don't have to face the world alone and that the two of you can conquer anything when you're together.
When you meet the right woman, you should be able to feel nothing but love towards her when you two kiss. When this happens you should get married.
2007-10-23 20:13:26 · answer #2 · answered by miss_j 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not get married until you heal and deal with these old wounds. You need to become a whole and happy person who loves herself.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-10-23 20:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see that the lobotomy didn't quite take.
2007-10-23 20:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋