I've been married for 3 years. I'm so upset with my husband that i could just lay down and die. I'm a sunday school teacher and i'm trying to live right, well anyway I love my husband with all my heart. The first time i seen that he'd been looking at porn, It broke my heart. He said never again would he do this, well today i get home from work and guess what he has done it again. I was going to leave him, But I love him so much. What have I done to deserve this? How should I feel?
2007-10-23 12:56:56 · 11 answers · asked by blacksheet1975 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him that he needs to ask God for forgiveness and he should start throwing it away NOW.
This caused my divorce.
2007-10-23 15:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you how to feel. I think that it's wrong for a wife to forbit her husband to look at porn, just because it's part of his biological influence. He's not out there sleeping with other women, right? I know that your morality might make you think he's wrong and he's going to hell, but all you can do is accept him for what and who he is. Why is it that you're thinking about leaving him over this issue? Isn't that less moral (divorce/separation) than looking at pornography? He doesn't make you do it, so you're not sinning. Why is it so hard to understand that he's a man and he just needs that release? I think we've all dealt with it at one time or another. Hang in there and just don't let it get to you too much. If he thinks that he can't give it up but at the same time he's not addicted to it, then you really don't have much of a problem.
2007-10-23 20:07:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow leaving someone for porn...I think you need to rethink that. I understand completely that it's abhorrent to you but if you're that devout then divorce should be just about as bad....maybe some christian counselling is best for you guys. Anyway, I can tell you this...I used to get magazines (before the internet) and one day my wife found them...she was really upset and somehow felt that it was a reflection on her but the truth is it had nothing to do with her. I threw them away and didn't buy them anymore but I still say it had nothing to do with how I felt about her...she would see it differently though. So is it about your perception of how he feels about you or is it some kind of sin thing?? Good luck to you...ending a marriage because of that seems rash to me though. I hope you can work things out with him! God Bless...
2007-10-23 20:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Michael C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men look at porn. It doesn't mean that they wish you looked like them, or that you acted like them. It absolutely has NOTHING to do with you at all. It has to do with men being visual and women being emotional. It's not a question of "deserving" it -- it wasn't done to you. I mean, has he pulled out a video and said, "Hey, why don't you bleach your hair and let's try THIS position!" ? No.
Here's some insight: The more you make it "forbidden" by carrying on about it, the more attractive it will be. You can feel exasperated, perhaps -- I generally just feel amused. My only caveat is that it is kept out of reach of children.
2007-10-23 20:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, some guys look at porn. It's not anything against you, your relationship, anything like that. It moreso means, he was feeling a little frisky when you weren't around and looked it up to take care of the urge. It's better than him cheating on you. If otherwise your relationship is fine, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
2007-10-23 20:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by S_Gnat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't answer that one for you because I have no problem with porn. My husband and I love it !!
However, having said that, what is it about the porn that is upsetting you specifically?? I guess that answer is what you need to discuss with your husband.
2007-10-23 20:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lordy lordy, he was watching porn. Say it ain't so!
Wake up and smell the coffee. Why are you so threatened by a few pictures? Guys look at porn, EVERY guy does, especially those that try to tell you they don't.
I think you need medication to calm you down; you should talk to your doctor about your issues.
2007-10-24 01:16:48 · answer #7 · answered by Frenchy-68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough situation hun, and i have seen this happen before with one of my friends. You need to talk to your husband about it one on one. You need to explain how you feel. Leaving someone you love is never good, and never easy. So i suggest to give him another chance, tell him how you feel, and see how it goes from there :)
2007-10-23 20:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem very hurt by this. It's hard to answer for me, as in our house that wouldn't be a big deal. But if it hurts you that badly, perhaps you should tell him how you feel when you have his undivided attention.
2007-10-23 20:00:24 · answer #9 · answered by Rapunzel XVIII 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guilt. Hey...I understand. I'm Irish AND Catholic.
LOL....lady....take it easy.
2007-10-23 20:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋