about having "relations"with another person,and one does sneak with anotherperson then when caught red handed in the end they lie,how long do you think it should take for the relationship to regain trust?
2007-10-23 12:25:32 · 18 answers · asked by lingosdeaf 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It happened 7 months ago and I still think about it and get real bad feelings about it,and the trust is not there yet.
2007-10-23 12:34:32 · update #1
I think it will take a long time to rebuild any kind of trust. The partner that cheated broke an agreement. Since you have an "open" relationship it would have very easy for the person who wanted to be with someone else to just express their feelings. Instead, they chose to keep it a secret and basically killed any kind of trust that was there. Personally, I don't think I would trust that person again because they could have easily had their cake and eaten it too, but instead they decided to hide the cake and eat it in private. Who knows when they will decide to keep another secret. I think marriage counseling is in order to help work on regaining trust if both partners are willing to work on it. If one person is not willing to work on the relationship, the offending partner needs to realize they blew it and there is nothing that can be done. Regaining trust could take a few months or even several years. I think it just depends on the people involved. Throwing the trust away in the first place took time... you need to expect that rebuilding it is going to take EVEN longer.
For some of the people that don't understand, an open relationship is where two people are married and are a couple, but with eachother's permission they are able to see other people. Alot of the other posters are judging your choice of lifestyle because they don't understand everything that is involved. There could be many different factors, they have children and instead of getting a messy divorce they are a family unit but enjoy extra preapproved activities with other people etc.
2007-10-23 12:35:40 · answer #1 · answered by greyskymourning82 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You won't. The relationship was doomed from the beginning because of the "open relationship" agreement. Having two people to agree to the rules will never work. It rarely does. Now all you have is this distrust and insecurity. And if the person had the audacity to do it once, they have the resolve to do it again. Actually, the suck part is that you will be more likely the one to do it to the other person now, cause it happened to you. Not to say it will, but just that it is more likely. Somehow, in our crazy minds we rationalize. We forgive, but we never forget. And for some...that is enough to end a relationship.
2007-10-23 12:40:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ku-Ling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Susanna, like all before me, i also commend you on a poem well-written & sentiments well-expressed. :-) however, you have made me feel Less of a woman - i am ashamed to be part of this femininity - where we, as women, are Again upholding Stereotypes. why is the 'Other woman' necessarily the bad one here? why isn't there Any mention [especially among the answers, except for 1] of the Man behind it all?! why assume that the woman Knew of his marital status? so often they don't; and every so often, they are Genuinely in love with the man & hope to have a future with him. why is there No condemnation of the Man - He has a family & responsibilities to his wife & kids, if any. Even supposing that she is the Siren, the seductress, ... why isn't he strong enough to Overcome those temptations?! and the wife too, in her own way, blames the Beauty of this woman! the remorse that this woman feels, in just a brief moment, should have been felt by the man looong ago. again, congratulations on a poem well-written - simple & straight-forward. hope you will break gender [& other] stereotypes in future ;-)) and no, i'm not a "Feminist", just a justice-loving, fair-minded individual.
2016-05-25 06:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust? After breaking it? A long time depending on whether the offender actually felt bad about doing it. If it didn't mean anything to the other to break the trust, my trust would not be given in a very long time, if ever.
2007-10-23 12:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does it matter if you have an open relationship you have given the right to each other to meet other people. What kind of a trust is this which you are expecting in an open marriage? An open marriage means that all is a go for both of you why complain.
2007-10-23 12:39:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
A long time; anywhere from a few months to years if ever.
Bt why would you sneak and lie if it is an "open" relationship? Doesn't sound very "open" to me.
2007-10-23 12:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust lost is hard to regain. And you can trust me on that one. But I've been there and know what you mean.
2007-10-23 12:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by Rapunzel XVIII 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why even bother getting married if you can't commit? I have never known of an "open relationship" that lasted. How can anything be cheating if it's open?
2007-10-23 12:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Okay, so if your spouse was open about it and f*cked the guy right in front of you, you would be okay with that? You're upset because she "sneaked him in"? You gotta be kidding me.
2007-10-23 12:40:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm alittle confused here. Maybe it's because I'm on my second martini.
If you're married..where does 'open relationship' come into play?
Hey...sorry. Call me old fashioned.
2007-10-23 12:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋