be confident and what makes the shy people be shy? If you consider your self confident could you describe your feelings, what are you thinking about at that moment, are you concentrated on yourself, on what you are speaking or hearing , on your behavior or what? The same question to the shy people. What do you think is the reason for your confidence/shyness?
2007-10-23 11:52:42 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I've been shy for pretty much my whole life, I guess I've always been "different" and people like to shoot me down for it, now it's hard not to clam up when I'm being talked to, I'm not shy around my friends because I know they respect me but otherwise it's really difficult for me. I guess it just has to do with people being judgmental, for the most part if I'm with judgmental people I feel worse, even if I don't think they are judging me just more-so that I don't want to associate with those people.
2007-10-23 12:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm shy. I guess I just never feel like I fit in anywhere with anyone. I either feel like I'm much dumber or much smarter than those around me, so either way I usually clam up. I also hear the way people make fun of and talk bad about others behind their backs, so rather than give someone the opportunity to belittle the way I live my life, I don't divulge info about my personal life if I can help it.
I think a big part of my low self-esteem and lack of confidence has to do with my parents and other family members. My dad was not there for me. He didn't do anything to teach me about being a man. No sex talks, nothing. I taught myself how to shave. My mother was cold, distant, and loved to shoot down any dreams as being completely unattainable and unrealistic - just like her mother.
Also I was really fat and zitty for much of my childhood and teenage years so of course girls didn't even look at me except to point and giggle. So that didn't help any.
2007-10-23 19:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
It all comes from how other people have been treating you most of your life--or at least, how you perceive or misconceive how they treat you. If you have been given lots of positive feedback and approval, you grow up confident. If not, you grow up negative and shy.
Despite silly books like "The Secret" and "The Power of Positive Thinking", there's really nothing anyone can do to change this part of themselves, at least not in the short run.
2007-10-23 18:59:48 · answer #3 · answered by DinDjinn 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
We are our parents, 50/50%, biologically as well as psychologically. It's also a good combo of nature and nurture.
Confidence for me never really came naturally. I had to work hard at it and make a conscious effort to manifest. I've learned that most times false confidence is better than no confidence.
2007-10-23 19:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by Yea Yea 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it is all or mostly down to self esteem if you have high self esteem your confident in yourself if you have low delf esteem your not so confident self esteem is effected by genetic and social factors although i believe it is mostly social influenece and the way we get treated by others.
2007-10-23 19:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by LIL'EM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋